This is dedicated to Amanda Coleman with deep gratitude.
My blog has been in a ‘Season of Silence’ for a time. Whilst I have always found reasons to speak my own truth, when I enter my own transformations, words themselves often elude me because the new realities I am entering require new languages, new forms of expression, to make themselves understood. They are like new-born kittens; needing to be mothered and protected until they can venture out into the world.
The transformations I am presently experiencing, quite literally, around and within me feel as though I am become a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. My sepia home is now all-colours. My capacity to see the world and create art has transformed – it is as though the Earth has draped Herself in velvet to become even more beautiful than before. The Otherworld of my imagination is becoming reality around me. In this world, built on kindness, tolerance, forgiveness, generosity – all those qualities that are woven into what we sometimes call Love – there is so much to live for. Nevertheless, I am mindful that I emerge into a greater reality intent on my destruction and butterflies do not have a long lifespan.
A caterpillar-to-butterfly transformation is a very interesting experience. I’m so grateful that my caterpillar ‘ate’ so much knowledge on her journey through life: Jungian Astrology; community activism; feminism; teaching; coaching; counselling; shamanism. When the first transformation hit, in 2001–2003, I knew it was coming (astrology) and I had a rough idea of what I was in for. As I understand it, within the chrysalis, the caterpillar doesn’t shape-shift from one form to another. She becomes liquid and reconstructs herself into an entirely new form. This is the second Life-Death-Life Transformation and I am still in the midst of it.
As I emerge into this new world, I find there are things I must leave behind me as the butterfly leaves the chrysalis-shell behind. I experience this as being attitudes and behaviours that, as a caterpillar, I was once a part of and which imprisoned me as a chrysalis, now, no longer form any part of me and from which I struggle to be free. I know I am not free yet. For myself, I find there is valuable wisdom to be had from my experience but it only works properly if it’s shared.
I am guided by experience and wonder. In this process I have been forced to relinquish my social ego and have acquired so many labels that those who encounter me are forced to make up their own minds… if they have one to make up. Not everybody does. Please note, with that example, that schadenfreude and I still have not parted company. This is a very dangerous substance and must only be used in homeopathic doses (yes – I believe in the homeopathic principles because they work on a quantum mechanics level). Consider it a counterpole – without it I wouldn’t have balance. I’m told that this knowledge now appears on my ‘butterfly-wings’. I understand this to be aspects of myself that can only be seen clearly by others but which I might be able to get a sense of in what they show me of themselves.
What I am certain of, in this new universe into which I am emerging, are these values and principles that come from the Otherworld legends of my Islands of Albion. There is no way that I could have arrived at the place I find myself in without the help, kindness, generosity and assistance of others, starting with my parents and now leaving me endebted to the Sacred Spirit for my very existence with all stops inbetween. Science tells us that it is possible for a butterfly to beat her wings against the air that sets of a series of complexities resulting in a cyclone elsewhere.
(A moment of synchronicity: as I was beginning the following sentence, and the exact same moment, both the postman and my internet provider posted ‘Free’ offers to me but you have to buy your way to this freedom. This is a ‘message’, I think, although its meaning is still unfolding.)
In return for all the Love I have been gifted and the responsibilities I now believe have to others for my continued existence in this Web of Life, I want to find a way to the right moment when the beating of my wings triggers such a complexity. The thing is finding the right moment. That is not in my control. My Otherworld tells me I have to get myself into a Spirit Energy “Line” and wait for other butterfly people to arrive so we can beat our wings together when Earth Mother tells us to.
I know this to be true too. Each and every butterfly is unique. We are fractals of our Universe creating, in our individuality, a greater complexity of Life that begins within Spirit, moves through Ideas, into Emotions and thus, into Creation. When the moment of Creation is understood as an Explosion of Love, anything becomes possible. But to truly understand this process, we must have lived the experience many times over and in many different ways. As incarnated fractals of the Sacred Spirit, our experience on Mother Earth is time-limited – we recycle both body and spirit here, as I understand it. The Inuit understand this as ‘Eating Souls.’ If my soul is to be ‘eaten’ by others, then I realise my wish is to be nourishing to some and poison to all those who are poison to the planet.
To effect this, I must stand outside the strictures of the Old World as much as the Sacred Spirit wills. To do this in my own unique way can only become sacred if I become nourishing in some form or another. A traditional way to do this is to become the story-teller, the” Twisted Hair”, of living stories as a way of extracting the knowledge of more ancient wisdom.
This Storify is the way I have learned how to do it in my own unique way. I am answering ‘The Call’ to become God-Mad. My time in the chrysalis has taught me lessons in patience and surrender to the sacred. The Path taught me endurance and refined my understanding of the Sacred Spirit which, in turn, has been a tough lesson in humility. In my Otherworld, however, the wisdom gained has the strength and beauty of carbon-transformed diamonds. Absence of hard testing renders information suspect.
In the Storify, various women make various claims and then back it up with evidence. Those who have been tested understand the value of evidence when we tell our stories. We tell each other what we have discovered about this rich white man’s world we find ourselves living in. But there are gaps in the evidence because I was dancing. So, to recapitulate the dance to see what all these beautiful butterflies created when we beat our wings together…
“Names have Power”: Speaking as a self-named shamanic chaplain with social responsibilities, this #WomanWisdom comes from the Celtic Otherworld and is borne out in our intersectional experience of rwmw. Reclaiming true names gives us power because many people then hear the call. It is what Jesus the shepherd meant by the calling of different flocks. If the Wyrrd is True, we each hear it in our own way and on our own terms. That is the Way of the Sacred. This means the same truth can be said in many different ways.
“We become what we believe”: Our imaginations have become colonised by the rwmw who, by their attacks on us, reveal to us our strengths. We must be careful of the traps and snares of the collectivised imagination. For example, our greatest strengths will be found in all those places the rwmw despises most: women and children across the face of the planet. If we truly wish to contribute to creative change, the seeds of manifestation will be found here amongst the exiles of the rwmw world.
“Nature tells us what we need to know”: As I write these words, I hear the suckling of three-day old kittens because their mother insisted she wanted to birth beneath my computer desk. Nature communicates to us at all levels. This is why I believe we must listen to our Indigenous Voices – the ones who hear Nature more clearly than I can – and trust to their guidance and our own intuition. The more eccentric to the rwmw, the better.
“We are all One in the Universal Web of Life”: On Mother Earth, all Life evolves as female. Testosterone is a more recent emergence – this truth is reflected in human foetal development. The introduction of testosterone to human chromosomes lessens, not adds. Indigenous Amazonians understand this and see it reflected in man’s actions, where the women use this power creatively. Other First Nations women are addressing this and what emerges when man’s ‘destructive’ nature is guided by women’s wisdom. It is the nature of ‘man’ to ‘destroy’ in order to understand, it is the nature of ‘woman’ to evolve that understanding into wisdom. When power is not governed by Sacred Feminine Principles this becomes a struggle between life – as represented by the Sacred Spirit – and death. There are men who understand this – some I am privileged to call ‘Friend’, others I know only by reputation. As far as I am concerned, such men are sacred to women and are a deeply valuable part of our Holistic fabric. Such men will turn to join us when they see the path we take if they are not already standing amongst us.
“Be careful what you believe”: When people truly understand the creative spirit, we know creation begins in our imagination. But there are dangers too – these are imagination but many are fact. We are as responsible for our beliefs as we are for our actions for actions are beliefs-made-manifest.
“We are at a fork in the Road”: We have been telling ourselves this for some time now and Astrologers confirm that the time is now. When I seek to understand where the Great Spirit needs me to go, I wait for Signs. Personal Power Signs include tornadoes and rainbows; Tornadoes, because I was birthed during a tornado; Rainbows have appeared as Signposts at highly significant moments. A third Sign, Lightning, has always been known to be a Sign of God.
“On 8 December 1954 the (Gunnersbury) station was damaged by a tornado which ripped off the roof and injured six people.” (strangely, the only quick-search link I could find on the subject of the “Ealing Tornado”)
All the Sacred Principles and Values are present in our Storify Creation and the links are made by living, breathing, real-life women whom I am honoured to call friend. If this is not a Call to become Goddess-Mad, I don’t know what is.
I have been surrendered to my understanding of the Divine, utilising shamanic principles, since 2001. Astrologically speaking, I’ve been told that my birth chart is ‘spooky’ but nowhere near as spooky as the transits affecting me now. This points to the possibility that I am intended to do something. Howard Sasportas (see Blogroll) was quite specific about this and said it would be something for women. The impending Lunar Eclipse on May 25 makes some powerful contacts in my birthchart falling, as it does, in my 6/12th Houses. Moon in the 6th‘Service to Others’ conjuncts my Mercury and Ceres which in turn conjunct my natal Sun. The Sun falls into my 12th house, ‘Surrender To Spirit’, and is conjunct transiting Pallas and Mars in Taurus, all of which conjunct my natal Moon in Taurus. The Eclipsed Moon in Sagittarius illuminated by a Gemini Sun – my Sun in Sagittarius and my Moon on the Taurus side of #Gemini cusp? This points to the clear possibility that I will ‘express’ something around all of these themes and paradigms. What follows are the ideas this information suggested to me:
If we work with paradigms, the Roots of the True Sacred Spirit of the Isles of Albion/Avalon are Female and She speaks to a particular part of the Heart in Men. She has clearly spoken to this man as far as I am concerned because She made certain I knew about him. I met his daughter when we were in prison together. In a World Turned Upside Down, this version of Arthur is much more believable and is supported by synchronicity (the story of how he was reunited with Excalibur is a curious one). In the face of derision, he does what he can to Honour the Spirit of the Ancestors.
But his imagination-created Reality – “if you built it, He will come” – bears little comparison to the work of another Goddess-Touched Son of England who wrote the words to the National Anthem of both Women and the People. William Blake asks me to tell you this is the most beautiful rendition of his dream we have ever seen or heard.
If we truly want to create the new world we have been both promised and which has been foretold by many different global cultures, we must turn to our land and the communities who dwell there and search for the Sacred in order to fan the flames.
If the First Nations Spring Rituals for IdleNoMore were True then we should be seeing this reflected a Global Resurgence of the Sacred Spirit. Such a powerful Light would be shining into dark places, previously hidden from sight. I believe we have sufficient evidence to show that the Rituals are working. The increase and intensity of the attacks upon us are a mark of their effectiveness.
It can be shown that our old foe cannot comprehend the Sacred. It follows, therefore, that the deeper we immerse ourselves into our understanding of the Divine, the safer we will become as the rwmw structures crumble and fail – as they must if we have any chance of surviving the Great Mother’s ReBirth into a New era of Evolution. As we do this, we will encounter Sacred Mysteries.
If reality and Sacred Britain collide in the person of King Arthur (assumed responsibility) then, in my imagination, it follows that there’s a Lady of Avalon – High Priestess of the Sacred Grove position up for grabs. If there is, then she hasn’t made herself known. The position has been filled, in the past, by women like Dion Fortune who used her power and responsibility in defence of Britain during World War II. If it remains unfilled then, by right of tested qualifications, I am willing to assume these responsibilities on a locum basis until the Goddess demonstrates Her Will to the Daughters of the Goddess. My particular reason for wanting to do this is to raise the Power of British Women, under the “Proud To Be Indigenous” banner to the Summer Solistice celebrations of the planet-wide IdleNoMore movement. I believe the Rites of Passage I am emerging from qualify me to be able to do this as a shamanic chaplain. I believe myself to be Goddess-Crazy.
Then I want to contribute to the People’s Healing and Transformation. I want to set an example to others about just how wrong we can be in order to understand health. If we trust the Sacred Spirit to lead us in Love then we know that the only way to manifest the Sacred into Reality is through action. Our actions. Our Personal Actions. We are what we believe. To be the True Lady of Avalon has always been my Heart’s Desire but I have no sense of ‘ownership’ – there can be as many of us as there are hearts as far as I am concerned, provided they are willing to be as tested as I have been, for then they may be ready to assume the responsibilities too. Magical Women of all Peoples know this to be True. If there are many of us, then I am happy to focus on web-weaving with other faiths and cultures and leave the Defence of Britain to you. I am told we must raise this Power against fascism to protect the Heart Chakra of Planet Earth – Glastonbury. I am told we must cut at the roots of the magickal systems but not told how this could be done – another Lady of Avalon has that information. This Woman Power must align itself with IdleNoMore in response to Our Great Mother’s Global Call to us – this I am told – and renew our Roots to the Sidhe.
It is for each and every one of you to make a free choice about your response. I am simply an example of someone who made my decision in the aftermath of 9/11. I do not like the choices being made by our man-made world. There are far more attractive options coming into being. Until I discover something better, I’m going to believe the above is about the best approximation I can get to becoming a Nourishing Soul. If you are going to eat my ‘Butterfly Woman’ ideas, may they feed the very best of you and that which does not suit pass through or around you without harm.
And if we start our actions anywhere, let us begin by feeding the Children.