Tag Archives: Anonymous

“The Archetypal Scapegoat” – Part Six: “The Gift of the Exile”

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To @npowerhq

 

 

Dear ‘Executive’ Sirs,  (for I doubt you have many women in your higher echelons)

 

Re: Breach of Contract

 

This afternoon, I went to top up the existing credit on my pre-payment gas meter.  When I attempted to do so, I received the message “battery fail”. It meant that my gas central heating stopped working, even though I have already paid for gas I need to use. It snowed here overnight, so the weather is cold. I do understand that there are those at the top who really couldn’t give a toss whether poor people are cold but whilst I can still afford it, my gas account remains a contractual agreement with you. Replacing batteries in gas meters forms part of your contractual responsibilities to me because, without a battery, you cannot supply the gas I have already paid for.

 

When it came to contact you about this, I discovered that if I were wealthy-enough to operate a land-line, you would provide free calls to sort out your breach of contract. I am not wealthy-enough – the poor depend on mobile phones or call boxes. For those of you who have never been poor, you may not have noticed that, since BT privatisation, there are far fewer public phone boxes than there used to be. The closest one to me is on open hillside. Did I mention that it snowed last night?

 

Those of us without landlines have to use mobile phones. Did you know that (how very convenient for the mobile phone companies)? Some of us down here at the poor end on the social scale afford to pay monthly tariffs in order to get the free calls you mention. Others, like me, can only afford to use pay-as-you-go. When I rang your mobile number to inform you of your breach of contract, I was told the waiting time was 30 minutes plus. My neighbour, who had exactly the same problem only a few days ago, confirmed that all their free-call allocation had been used up trying to get either you or one like you to sort out your breach of contract. Batteries have a known ‘shelf-life’ so replacing them ought to form part of your regular maintenance. I might wonder what kind of business you are if you don’t have that kind of schedule because, without it, it begins to look as if you don’t give a shit about your poor customers at all. I tried to phone your ‘help-line’ later and my mobile used up all my carefully saved credit before I was able to talk to someone. I can’t afford to top-up again for a week. Supposing I have another emergency? But then you don’t appear to care about my kind of custom at all, do you?

 

At present, judging by your business practices, I have to conclude that your answer is No. Did you know that the government of this country treats poor people the same way by not providing free-call numbers for mobile phone users? Yet everything must be done by phone. Given how little people are living on now – especially after your most recent price rise – this all seems rather cruel. I’ve been subject to a lot of cruelty over the past few years and it causes PTSD flashbacks. It’s one of the reasons I am poor and on benefits. I am hoping to return to work but your business practices do not help. Despite the fact that you already have my money and it is you who are in breach of contract, I am the one who is cold, further impoverished and inconvenienced. Please understand that I ‘might’ be inclined to be more forgiving if you paid your full taxes but, if you are anything like the mobile phone companies, you probably don’t. Had you chosen to invest those tax savings in providing regular maintenance to your prepayment meters, that might have gone in your favour too – but I suspect you don’t do that either. I am also right in thinking that those of us with prepayment meters – which enable us to budget the pittance we receive – are charged more than those who pay by other methods? Don’t we pay for this maintenance then? Are we really such inconvenient customers that it’s Ok for you to charge me more, take my money in advance and only turn up to honour your contract after you’ve messed us around?

 

By the way – this is being written whilst I’m waiting for your engineer to turn up. The night sky is clear – it’s going to be another cold one. Unless it snows again, of course. There are people with no homes out there tonight and some who can’t afford food or warmth, so I count myself fortunate in comparison. When I look at those less fortunate than me and then I look at you, you’ll have to forgive me if I am a little frosty. There is this matter of your breach of contract. The more I consider what appears to be going on here, the more I’m starting to believe your behaviour is intentional, especially if I’m right about the regular maintenance issue. Given your general behaviour so far, I’ll be lucky if your engineer turns up at all even thought I was told I might have to wait up to four hours. That was three and a half hours ago. My pessimism is beginning to have some grounding in fact.

 

 

In order to require you to comply with your contract, I had to go out to the public phone and call from there. The phone-box itself is subject to open-fell weather. I had to wait over fifteen minutes before I actually got to speak to another human being. You are extremely fortunate that the woman at your call centre was both professional and as humane as your service allows. She took time to listen to how upset I was and how angry I felt at being treated this way. She did a good job but also had to require me to phone your company again – from the cold public phone box (no credit left, remember? Can’t afford more for a week?)– because I hadn’t complied with your rules! The account was in my landlady’s agent’s name and it should have been in mine. You require me to do business with you by phone yet you discriminate against me because I am poor and can only use mobile or the far fewer public phones. At the same time, you fail to maintain your supply to me.

 

Let’s give you one more reason to write off me off – just so we are all being honest around here. I’m a desister – a woman found guilty of wounding with intent and threatening to kill a police officer (1st offence age 48). I know exactly what it is like to be treated as if I have no worth and the only responsible thing I could do for society was die. I’ll tell you one thing. The system isn’t permitted to kill prisoners and when they try, however directly or indirectly, they can be shown to have broken the rules. The reason you won’t write me off, however, is that I got very good at spotting exactly where the ghost in the machine was lurking, especially in prison.

 

The reason I believe you intentionally discriminate against the poor is the ring-back service you don’t provide on mobile lines. You provide that service elsewhere – your call centre told me so. You breach your contract with me at every level. I will be looking to change to an ethical supplier who can meet my needs as far as prepayment is concerned. There was a doorstepper here this week offering that kind of service, except the more I think about that, the more I suspect it might have been a con. There seem to be a lot of such types in your business, don’t there?

 

You’d think, given that there are so many of us poor these days, what with our numbers increasing and all, that there’d be some successful kind of business made out of treating the poor fairly. Perhaps some of us might fund a few start-ups on the compensation we receive from you for the way you have been treating us. I’ve a mind to get those taxes out of you one way or another.

 

And I apologise for the disjointedness of this – I’m normally fairly eloquent (or so I’ve been told) – but I’m cold and experiencing the kind of ‘shock’ that comes with realising just how badly I’m being abused. When I was in prison, this was the time the formal complaints began flying. A lot got sorted when I reached officers and governors who knew, without being told, that you don’t treat prisoners like this. If you do, women die and men riot. My complaints were always aimed at seeking to head off the latter when I could see it happening. I wasn’t always successful and I have seen both outcomes manifest during my imprisonment – although it was YOs who ‘rioted’ in my case.  As a desister, I am no longer permitted to bystand, comply or consent to unlawful conditions once they can be proven unlawful. I have a social responsibility to oppose anything corrupt because it kills people and hurts others. You are actively discriminating against the poor in general and me in particular by subjecting me to hurt and suffering through neglect of whatever contractual duty applies between us – and if you decide you weren’t doing it to me, then you were doing it to my landlady’s agent and my landlady. It’s called a crime at my end of the social spectrum and I think it might well be a crime at your end too.

 

There’s no point in going through your complaints procedures because you’ve fixed them so they fail. There’ll be someone out there with evidence to prove it; if not, more. There are more like me – experiencing unmaintained service problems, experiencing total loss of paid-for service, denied equal communication access and being charged more for the privilege – which has to break some law and well as leaving you in breach of your contract to me.

 

I’m going to circulate this on the social media because I don’t think I’m alone in this – I just happen to be the one who can see stuff, make connections other people might miss and put it down in my own words. There’ll be things in this other people will recognise – whoever they are – but mainly, we’ll  all be poor or getting poorer. I want to know if I can sue you, npower, for this and whether there’s anyone amongst my legal follows who’d be willing to help, pro-bono for now but going for enough costs to create start-up legal aid social enterprises. God knows, we need them if we are to straighten this behaviour out.  I have smaller plans for a desistance-for-women social enterprise project needs funding plus I want to float the idea of a Police Social Enterprise that goes after tax evaders. Could my claim for compensation be for social gain – I’m not allowed to do personal gain as a desister. Can I do that to you, npower, because God knows I want to!.

 

I’m going to have to trust that society will see me alright – let them decide. I’d certainly like to be able to pay my landlady her full rent instead of her having to take the hit of my housing benefit cap. She prefers having me as a tenant and is willing to take the loss. I don’t think she should have to. I’m willing to work but I can’t if I keep getting hits like this one – as I sit here in the cold, waiting for your engineer to turn up. I feel punished for your failures.

 

There is one good thing about this kind of shock – it means I wobble all over the place. The one thing that keeps me steady is my focus on you. It doesn’t seem to matter what perspective my wobble gives me, I seem to be seeing the same thing. Even if everyone can’t follow everything, there are going to be some that will. The people who are seeing the same thing I am and just needed someone else’s story to confirm what they were suspecting themselves. I’m hoping that those who are ready to do something about this might pass it around. Is there a likely lawyer out there who thinks I might have a case because there’s definitely something wrong with me at the moment? I’m not usually like this. Am I?

 

As for you, npower executives. Is there really anything left to say?

 

Yours

 

Dee Wilde Walker

 

 

PS

Your four-hour promise has just been broken.

 

PPS

 

Anyone else having this problem?

The Politics of Integrity

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HRA Lord Bingham

In a highly polarised society where opposites co-exist – ‘the rich man in his castle, the poor man at the gate’ – to strive to be balanced is probably the most subversive human adventure of all.

To observe and detail how a society gets caught up in the politics of envy, the balanced individual needs to seek out and experience each polarity that exists within it. Dualism demands there is an opposite to envy. So what on earth could it be? We can be deeply grateful to the rather cranky and argumentative psychoanalyst, Melanie Klein, for her work in identifying it.

The opposite of envy is gratitude.

If envy is the negative human expression of perceived scarcity and how we respond to it, the polar opposite will have to contain the positive human expression of perceived abundance. In this dynamic, perception is the key that holds our power to choose how we handle these natural experiences. The dance between scarcity and abundance is normal for Planet Earth, with her ages and seasons in constant flux and all our human stories, myths and legends reflect this. As human beings, we are subject to these changes whether we like it or not and any personal or individual power resides solely in how we respond.

We live on a planet that is in the throes of a Life-Death-Life transition. For those of us in Western Society, we are moving from an experience of abundance to an experience of deep scarcity. In the natural cycles, this is normal because it opens the doors for the next cycle of growth or Life. Some things die back in order to make way for the new. This brings unexpected changes as we learn to live with loss, often of aspects or people we hold very dear to us. For those who survive it, the Death cycle teaches us the value of grief by tipping us into the underworld of human experience and forcing us to make choices about how we will live in the future. Freud describes this as Eros and Thanatos – the choice between life and death. What is important here is that life is represented by the god of Love; Eros.

It is not smooth sailing on quiet seas that teaches us about who we are. We only really get to know ourselves well by enduring the storms and tempests of human experience. Death removes the flesh from our existence and introduces us to the bones of our inner selves. It is at these depths that we learn about the choices we make.

In ‘The Politics of Envy’, I explore the negative polarity of loss and scarcity when unexplored personal choices are rooted in envy. Without doubt, this is the underworld of Thanatos where there is no hiding the depths to which humanity can sink. In the realm of envy, the choice is death but this is not the only region in Hades. In therapeutic terms, laying bare the bones of envy serves a very important purpose because it moves the client firmly into the realm of personal choice. Do we cling to our egos or do we move on?

The key question to ask is “What is good about this experience?” In other words, what can we feel grateful for?

Bear in mind that, in a dualistic reality, the glass is always half full/empty.  If we can only perceive emptiness, we remain caught in the jaws of egotistical envy because any possibility for creativity (fullness) is denied. When we start seeing the opposite polarity the emptiness remains because it forms part of the reality of loss but we add something new – potential. We can deepen this potential by intensifying the experience through the perception of gratitude. That’s the theory, anyway! In practice, it can be much harder. What I can say is that it is worth the effort.

The cycle of Life-Death-Life is intensely painful and is frequently the cause of significant suffering, especially at the nadir. It is a paradoxical question, asking what might be good about this and my own past reactions have often been filled with astonished and enraged indignation! These are normal human responses to the shocks associated with deep and irrevocable loss that leave us feeling powerless. We are victims of circumstance as well as our own choices and the notion that we could find something to be grateful for in all of it produces outrage. This is a totally, beautifully normal and healthy part of human experience. The grieving process always contains rage because this is the emotion that moves us forward through the darkness. These feelings are how we explore the underworld that exists within each of us. They cause us to look around to see what is left after everything has died. By hunting down even the smallest seeds of gratitude, we are laying the foundations for return and rebirth. We are choosing life; not the old life but a new one based on the wisdom we have gathered through our underworld journey.

These archetypal processes apply to the whole of humanity and they have been very well documented by the likes of Joseph Campbell and Clarissa Pinkola-Estes. The purpose is to teach us the demands of the well-springs of human potential. They come with a price-tag because their wisdom can only be unlocked via repeated personal journeys through the underworld.

In my own experience, the seeds of gratitude come through acts of kindness and generosity between ourselves and our perception of the world. It is a momentous act of personal kindness towards reality  when we choose to relinquish our egotistical need for personal control, cease to envy and learn to become grateful for our journey through the travails and triumphs of life. In a world petrified by the politics of envy, this is an act of true power that cannot be equalled simply because it can only be achieved through the unique personal choice of an evolving human being. The new energies emerge as choice piles upon personal choice. From the underworld, we can see all those who literally sacrificed their own lives so we could learn how to do this. From the depths, we can see those who choose to be kind when cruelty was available to them too. Within the darkest places of the human psyche, we encounter fellow travellers who share their nuggets of wisdom, enabling us to take the next step on our return journey to a new way of living. We learn to share ourselves. We learn we have something valuable to share when we do this. We learn that there are better ways of living than those we thought we knew. But, for me, there is one lesson that stands head and shoulders above the rest.

The journey through loss, rage and envy teaches us who we are and topples us into the experience of grief. When we encounter deep grief, we meet our natural instincts face to face. Grief is the journey of pain and suffering but it is also the landscape of our capacity for Love. The deeper our ability to feel pain, the deeper our direct experience of Love itself because it is the only power in the universe that can make this journey and live. This is the deepest knowledge of all and it is the wisdom of the Spirit.

I share a very deep empathy with atheists because what is being rejected, in Spiritual terms, are the religious constructs of envy which refuse personal experience of the underworld whilst applying its strictures to others. Nevertheless, within the core beliefs of every religion dwell fundamental spiritual truths about the human experience of Life itself. Not for nothing does Jesus teach that the only way to enter the experience of Heaven is by being born again. It is not a pretty theory; it is blisteringly hard practice. Not for nothing does Islam require Ramadan because it is a repeated experiential teaching in the power of scarcity. Not for nothing does the Buddha teach that the path through Life is found through the balance of Light and Dark. These are lessons in Love itself and they teach us gratitude for the wonder of Life itself.

Where I part with company of atheists resides in the issue of Life after Death. That anything so fine, so precious, so infinitely valuable as these lessons in the fundamental experience of the healthy human spirit-under-fire could be discarded at the point of physical death simply goes against the Laws of Nature. Nature is not wasteful. To imagine Nature casually discarding something so extraordinarily important beggars belief and falsifies perception. Given that perception dwells at the heart of human politics, to deny the essence of the healthy human spirit is to choose the path of envy. To perceive this miracle of humanity is to be grateful for Life itself in all its forms and is how we contribute towards and align ourselves with creative manifestation. This is the process of rebirth and it always has a spiritual component because the dynamic can’t function without it. The atheists can argue about this all they want but the evidence is already in. History is littered with examples of this too.

The process of collective rebirth is as inclusive as the politics of envy is exclusive. When we experience the depths of our being, we stop caring about labels and start seeking the essence. It doesn’t matter what someone is, we want to know who they are. Do I care if someone is an atheist? Not in the least! They are teaching themselves something that only they can learn in their own unique way. Do I mind about some of the hardships I’ve experienced? Of course I do! They are my precious teachers and my most intuitive guides. Am I better or worse than another? How the hell do I know! I aim to be equal because that’s all that’s left me if I am to appreciate what I’ve learned in my gratitude for Life.

Within the politics of envy, I am an unwanted exile which points to the possibility that I, amongst many others, am envied by the rich. Within this paradigm, what on earth could the rich perceive as a quality in me that could never exist in them?

Perhaps it is in the simple grace of finding it within ourselves to be grateful for who we are and not just what we have.

The Diamonds of Darkness

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“The Tower” ©Stephanie Pui-Mun Law http://www.shadowscapes.com.

 

The very best form of learning is experiential because the lesson is taught on many different dimensions. It follows that the very best teachers work experientially. The thing to remember is that that the lessons come from life itself. They arise from our aliveness and the only difference between the teacher and the student is the teacher has more experience.

Yesterday, some friends helped create such a lesson. You can find it here. As an example of the Gestalt Cycle, it is perfect – I have excluded an interruption that, in my opinion, sought to introject a ‘solution’ that did not fit the problem. I left it out because I’m tired and bored with the interrupters and to make a song-and-dance about such individuals is to divert attention from where it is needed. They are unneeded distractions. I have also excluded someone who supported me on the facts about financial poverty within the system we all find ourselves in. I’m grateful for their support but for this to work effectively I need to stand alone at the moment. We need to be able to see my mistakes and supporters can veil this aspect if we are not careful. This is a lesson. I am a teacher. I believe my lesson’s aim is to support the impoverished but if they can’t see where I’ve fucked up then we can’t correct my errors. In truth, both of those I’ve left out belong in the wider story – they are as much a part of the Gestalt as the participants but I don’t know them as well as the central characters.

This is a recapitulation of what occurred now that my personal Gestalt Cycle has completed itself. It was my Cycle so I’m discussing it from what I can see – how it interfaces with the other participants will be for them to decide.

The main charactors are my Egyptian friend, my Lightworker friend, an old Guardianista friend and me.

The teaching Cycle began an out-pouring of Self from my Egyptian friend. If I have my facts straight, nag0ul took such an active role in his country’s ‘Arab Spring’ that he was arrested and detained at one point. Certainly, now, he is under 24 hour surveillance in a country that is ruled by a military that sees no problem in killing its citizens when they protest, supported by lawyers that permits them to get away with murder. No-one in the Egyptian hierarchy has been brought to account for the deaths of protesters and it looks like no-one will. So, my Egyptian friend knows he is facing retribution of some sort whatever hue of government takes power. Therefore, his initial outpouring is totally understandable.

I stopped trying to interrupt his Cycle of Experience (none of us are exempt from this mistake!) when I remembered my own outpourings whilst I was a prisoner. He was in a place of deep transformation where existing internal psychic structures collapse and he describes this process extremely well. From my own experience, this is a deeply painful process of disappointment and there is really nothing anyone can do except keep them company. It is a long and hard fall from Hope to Despair, and it takes just about everything we believe in with it. In the Tarot, this is the card of the Tower. In Astrology, this is the action of Pluto.

This Fall takes us over the boundary of Death. It may not result in physical death, although it can and it may not be our own death that triggers the process. If we live, what dies are the assumptions we have structured out lives upon and someone in the throes of the Fall can take our own assumptions with them.

As my Egyptian friend ‘fell’, and with my own grief triggered by Father’s Day, the pain I was holding became too much. Politically and personally, I am close to ground zero at present and aware that I may be facing a move to its epicentre. This is not a new experience for me. My Father’s death initiated my own ‘first fall’ and subsequent events collapsed my life until I was transformed into an undesirable, unemployable exile in my own country. Whilst my experiences are my own and cannot be compared with nag0ul’s, the pattern of energy is the same. A fall from Life to Death holds the same archetype wherever it is played out and the results are the ashes of despair. Those bearing witness are liable to feel fear of their own fall, especially if they have not experienced this for themselves.

What is most important to remember here is that, like the Phoenix, ashes are not the end of the story. The collapsing structures represent outdated power; when the Tower is dust, so energy previously locked within is freed to create in new ways… but only if the environment allows it. The energy of Pluto is Life-Death-Life – it does not end with death.

My first experience of Death was also my first experience of Grief. Grief is a trauma. As the roots of the Greek word for trauma suggest – grief pierces our ego-structures and breaks our heart open to greater Love. It has to be Love because only that power can cause us to grieve when it is ‘gone’. A deep wound to Love creates intense vulnerability which can only be healed with kindness, patience, compassion, understanding and time, as anyone who has experienced grief will tell you. The problem grieving people have is that we live in a world where all those qualities are in very short supply. So when vulnerable people are subjected to cruelty, impatience, heartlessness, deliberate incomprehension and no time, it will trigger feelings of deep rage. This is what occurred with the Arab Spring. This is what is occurring elsewhere across our planet.

Frequently, those experiencing this process transform into activists. We see the ‘wrong’ and start to do something about it. Our choices and actions begin to create new structures within us, just as the Plutonic energy intends. However, those of us who have become activists over the past few years are constantly facing an opposition hell-bent on keeping us imprisoned within their old and collapsing paradigms. To my eyes, they appear criminally insane and my own rage at this situation erupted into the Twittersphere, triggered by grief and activated by my friend’s despair.

This is a powerful dynamic of an energy seeking to evolve. My new friend, Adam, mistook it to begin with until I was able to explain what was occurring using the Laws of Grief. The first Law of Grief is Respect. If the energies being expressed by the mourner are fundamentally healthy, then they demand respect, even if their appearance is initially alarming or disturbing. If witnesses cannot offer respect, they are likely to be shot down by the emerging Rage – as one person was by me. On the other hand, if respect is established – as it was with Adam – then the rage can begin a second transformation into Passion. Rage is no longer required because the energy is being heard. What emerges is the information needed to build new and healthy structures from the ashes of the old. This process is apparent in my personal Storify.

It is these new energies that Activists seek to support and develop. My passionate rage was rooted in the relentless attacks these individuals can be subject to, both collectively and individually. Whilst I might agree that new energies, if still ‘infected’ by old memes, may need to be continually dismantled until we arrive at a healthy structure there comes a point when it is plain that the destructive forces being applied are downright malevolent. So whilst I may have been enabled to move out of the Death-stage yesterday, I am under no illusions that the political forces in my country won’t attempt to send me back there. In my own Self, I am certain I’d prefer to be dead than to consent to this. The suicide levels in the West suggest that I am not alone in this. That this suits the NWO is beyond any doubt because they would be acting to prevent this if it didn’t – instead they are heaping more of the same upon those they purport to ‘govern’. The System is waging war on its own people. Activists understand this and do something about it but they are not superhuman. We need to remember and give to the grieving what they need to evolve. Sitting back and doing little or nothing is to deprive them of support when it is needed most. Support can be as little as a retweet or as much as your heart prompts you to give.

One aspect of my Gestalt Cycle was the issue of financial poverty. In a world filled with envy, this subject becomes booby-trapped, so I make no claims to be ‘right’ with this aspect. I will simply say what I see.  What needs to be remembered here is that the vast majority of Activists are financially impoverished. What they achieve is done with so few material resources that the shaman-in-me starts talking about miracles. Those who benefit from their actions are frequently poor too. The question that always arises in me is “what might they be able to achieve if they actually did have resources?” This is then tempered with Sufi wisdom that teaches when financial assistance is absent, people find out what they are genuinely capable of in a spiritual sense. Clear answers elude me and I have to fall back to trusting that the greater Power of Love knows what it is about far better than I do and I surrender.

This story is still unfolding. In my experience, each time we are felled by the pressures of the old and have to walk through our own darkness, we collect diamonds of wisdom along the way. These are the diamonds I collected yesterday. In sharing them, I hope they may inspire new activists and resources for existing ones, however those resources might manifest. The only thing I can be certain of is that the other participants in my story will know things I don’t either because I’ve made a mistake or I’ve misunderstood what I am looking at. But I will only find out by sharing what I know.

If any of these diamonds are useful to you, please help yourself.

#EtherSec #TangoDown The Guardian and how covert censorship works

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“The Guardian” newspaper is a part of my personal and social heritage as someone who was raised a socialist. It never really was a socialist paper – more soft liberal – but for the intelligentsia who couldn’t bring themselves to read “The Morning Star”, the Graundiad was a passable choice. Not anymore.

To read the Guardian now is to understand that there are some very fine journalists working there. They report stuff like this – in good detail and fine attention. I have no doubt that there are many good and fine people working for the paper too. I have no argument with them. My argument is with whoever is making the decisions that other staff have to carry out.

I have an ‘old’ account with the Grauniad (bearing in mind I have only been ‘back’ on the net for a year or so). Today I logged on to take part in this:-

My late father would have been tickled to bits with my score, especially if I could tell him that on some questions I guessed when I didn’t know. Even I was pleased with how I did and I am my worst critic. So the Guardian comment beneath my score prompted this reply:-

But there was something interesting I noticed. It prompted me to post a tweet to people I trusted. I’m very grateful for this reply:-

This is not the Guardian website I knew less than a year ago, let alone the paper my family paid good money for for over more than forty years.

There is a rule I need to apply to myself here – Do not criticise without proposing a solution. Because I prefer people to make up their own minds and use their own imagination, I make no proposals. I will simply share this because I have already acted.

On twitter, I’m called a global Citizen – I accept that responsibility. I am called a friend – I accept that privilege. I continue to call myself a shaman in the face of derision and oblivion curses because I’m still here after all their attempts to destroy me. And I’ve just been given a job by people who set very high standards. I am posting this for them only because I prefer to be elected rather than chosen. Otherwise , I am honoured and seek to comfirm my worth and their opinion. I know the importance of being valued (see last paragraph). You can find us here #ATL.

I never want to let down those who choose or trust me because that kind of respect is so hard-won and it comes only from those who work hard to be honest. We need to value each other for who we are, especially when we are different. The Guardian used to do that for everyone but it appears to have suffered a failure of courage – no comments on a Comment Cartoon anymore? Cartoonists getting too close to the bone to allow people to speak?

So I say this because I believe it falls under the law of “Fair comment”.

The Guardian newspaper is corrupt at the top but not neccessarily in the middle 😉

Sue me!

When Rage Becomes Passion – I’m back on a ‘Roll’ again!

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When rage first surfaces, in ourselves or in others, it frequently arrives ‘undifferentiated’. Since this particular rage is deeply Female, this is a rage that is part #AppallingPMT #RagingScold  #TheFaceOfKali #TheUntamedShrew and a whole bundle of other descriptions that pretty much describe the same thing. What we need to remember, when this happens to us either as actor or participant, is that the Feminine Voice you are hearing/seeing/experiencing belongs to a woman who has been subjected to prolonged abuse of every conceivable description and a good deal more that good men can’t conceive of unless they are involved with Law enforcement. If you give an erupting woman as much space as she needs, she will eventually do something that will break your heart open to the deepest compassion. You will have an experience of deep empathy.

This empathic experience will mean that you find yourself sharing the experience of deep rage yourself. There is no need to fear this. All that matters is that your rage is trusted and respected for what it is, particularly when you find yourself being unreasonable or being accused of being unreasonable. Passion has Her Own Reason; remember this.

One of my Passions is a passion for Good Law. I see no good law occurring at the ‘top’ in my county and I am watching their corruption trying to seep into the valley of my home. I am sick to the back teeth of their lies and cruelty. I think a large part of our Parliament is psychopathic or under psychopathic influence and they are in full gear to head us into a very English form of the Third Reich. Scotland and Wales have already bailed out. If I have anything to do with it, the neglected North of England will tell Westminster to take a hike too if things don’t change. Our society is sick enough as it is – we don’t need to get any sicker.

I want to say to our trade unions that it’s time to cut the Labour arm off – it’s rotten to the core and has already threatened your members by its inaction and lack of parliamentary support. That’s called ‘gross misconduct’ and is a sackable offence. I’d like you to consider looking around for some of our radical liberals – the kind that, if elected, would renationalise everything starting with the banks. Let them stand as Independents, so they can’t be ‘whipped’. The public services belong to the public – it’s time we took what is ours back from this #AxisOfGreed. We could tell the one percent that they’ve had their feed and, in the light of their behaviour, there’s no compensation unless the workers at the bottom speak up for the people at the top. That ought to sort the swans from the geese.

You see, once we move beyond our first explosion,  the deep passion, the deep rage we found in ourselves or saw in another, does become ‘unreasonable’ in the face of ‘insanity’. Deep rage and deep Passion have their own reasons and those reasons belong to the Law. This is the deep Passion of the overturned money-lenders tables. The Passion that fired the Prophet and it is the Passion of the Feminine. This is the Fury of the Mother protecting her young. It is the Con-Dar. This is an Honourable Fury against a foe that has declared open warfare on the women of this planet.

Remember those who told you that you were being unreasonable? Those people are the problem. We are on a war footing and the weapon we use is the force of Good Law, whether that law be medical, military or civilian. The test of insanity is denying there is a problem when it is plain to those who are qualifiedly sane that there is an extremely serious problem and the source is the denier themselves. Under such circumstances, I would doubt that many of our senior politicians are actually fit to stand trial for their genocidal policies.

When the old ways are corrupted, our rage cuts through the crap and gets to the quick of the matter. No, what I say won’t be comfortable for some people to hear but, hey, we are all in this together and war changes everything. We have a pissed-off military. We have a pissed-off police force. We have pissed-off prison officers. These people – the good ones – are not folk it is wise to piss off. We’ve had our public services too long to stand by and watch these carpet-baggers steal from us again. No, our services are not perfect but then neither are you. One thing I can guarantee you, however, is that whatever privatised service these #Reptiles have in mind for us will be a whole lot worse. I don’t have a problem with staff being paid a decent wage or having a good pension – my problem is that I think everyone else should have it too. Perhaps some people need reminding that selfish behaviour is anti-social. And anyone who thinks everyone ought to be the same is going to have a major problem with me now because I am who I am and want no part of any society that can’t accommodate that.

I’m tired of being told I have no worth. I’m tired that my limited means come through a system that hates me and I’m sick to the back teeth of those who have the power to do something about it allowing this obscenity we are being forced to live to continue.

If we are at war – and it certainly looks as though the British Government and its Institutions have declared war on the British people (Wales and Scotland need to deal with their versions of this). I believe that might be called Treason which, if my memory of Good Law serves me, is a crime that might still be punishable by death.

Men reading this who are having trouble getting to grips with understanding this are invited to talk to intelligent women friends. Go have a look at who is being singled out for ‘Special Treatment’ in this War on Women. And finally, because I am sick of this behaviour from some of you, you can get off your egos and help us by organising. You can stick your hand in your pocket and make a contribution, especially if you’ve been fiddling your taxes. Who do we really trust with money – our money? I want a Women’s Bank – the evidence is overwhelming that when good women are helped, the whole society improves. Didn’t you realise that’s why they hate us? We are the living proof of their lies. That’s why they war on us! Gentlemen, this is no way to treat a Goddess or Her Daughters and we are furious.

Good men do not stand by and do nothing when there’s a war on.

Welcome to The Asylum

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Just lost your rag with the world? Ready to chew out your partner/friend/family/colleagues/people in general? Just on the edge of getting yourself in real trouble? Welcome to The Asylum.

This establishment presently exists only in my imagination and I am its proprietor. It’s a bar (or pub, in English). Decorate it how you want. If you don’t drink, the bongs are in the back where the sofas are (you’ll have to negotiate with the cats – there are a lot of them and they know they own the joint). If you’re hungry, we serve your favourites or food that’s just about to become your favourite. Want music – check out the back room – that’s where the musicians hang out. The artists are out in the yard painting infinity. The comedians are all in the main bar! And if, after you’ve blown your stack, you need healing, ring the bell on the table at the bottom of the stairs. The local healers have rooms upstairs – they’ll fix you up. They’re good at what they do – only the best in my establishment.

The woman you see behind the bar is me. I’m a veteran of all the crap that’s just sent you off on one. Most of the regulars you find here are the same. If you need to explode, go ahead… we’ve all been there. No-one is going to be offended if you tell it as you see it. In fact, when one of our regulars loses it, we normally learn something useful that we can do something about.

For example – after learning how the ‘Dividers’ fucked with her clientele, this proprietor had a word with the local coven. Now The Asylum has a spell on it. So if you’re someone who has a problem with other people’s differences, you’re going to find yourself getting real uncomfortable. Take a look around – there’s all colours of the skin rainbow in here; there’s all shades of spirituality; all hues of human expression; all the chords of culture. We keep adding to the place when more of our ‘Differents’ turn up and erupt. So, if you know someone who might make the place even more different than it already is and they’re erupting, point ‘em in our direction. We got time for folk like that.

Don’t like this place? Tough. Fuck off someplace else and create your own establishment. The Asylum is obviously not meant for you and you’ll do yourself a favour by leaving under your own steam before a few of us throw you out.

Oh, that’s not a very nice thing to say, huh? Well, see, here we don’t do nice. We ‘do’ bad; we ‘do’ good, but we don’t do ‘nice’. We ‘do’ honesty and we do ‘Truth’ (when we can agree on it, otherwise we stick to ‘personal truth’) and our experiences with the ‘Dividers’ have made us dangerous. You really don’t want to piss off the clientele you see around you because they’re all out of patience, tolerance or understanding for anyone who thinks they can come in here and tell us how to live our lives. This is my bar and I’m all out of patience, etc, too. Numbnuts don’t last long around here.

The Asylum is the place where us veterans come to relax and do dumb shit stuff that makes us laugh – like the lolcat gallery our local Egyptian keeps updating on the wall over there. Sometimes folk arrive to talk about what they are learning – that’s what the large group of women ‘occupying’ over there are doing now. Woe betide anyone who thinks they can mess with those Wyrrd Sistas – the men don’t like it, frequently before the women realise they don’t either. You really don’t want to piss off the men in this joint.

So now you know – them’s the rules of the House. As I said, you don’t like them you can leave.

On the other hand, if this sounds like your kind of place, pull up a chair and what will you be having?

Watch the cats. One of them will do something funny on your wavelength that will crack any ice between us. Or if you need to be alone, try the back porch. Somehow it always manages to create a space for those who need time to be with the Universe – when you’re ready for company, someone will turn up with whatever attitude you need to help you out of the hole you’re in. Don’t ask me how it works – it just does. The Asylum does what it says on the tin when we keep to the house rules of Respect. Me? I just run the place.

Are you tired – like deep-down DNA-bone-tired? We all are. It’s what makes us cranky and bad-tempered out there in the world because we are dealing with muppets and numbnuts all the time. They really do ‘do your head in’! Now the twats in control are tearing our hearts out. In this place, we are way past the Fuck-It-Point. We may not have answers to our problems yet but we can sit and bitch about it. We can air our cynicism, rinse out our hopelessness, come to our senses and find out, amongst all our differences, exactly what we have in common. And when you’ve come to the end of everything you have, there’s a room upstairs with your name on it where you can crash. It’s no Hilton, but it’s clean, comfortable and you’ll get a good night’s sleep. Just a word of warning – if you leave the bottom half of the window open, the cats will get in and join you. Of course, you might like that and it’s for-sure that the cats will. Oh, you have a dog? If the dog knows how to get along with cats, no problem and if not, then the dog is going to be learning some whole new stuff. Same goes for all of Nature’s criaturas here – we get to see some remarkable things as a result.

Oh, and by the way, if there’s someone in the bar you really don’t understand, don’t worry about it. One of the regulars will and they’ll introduce you. Enjoy yourself. The Asylum is an off-duty place. If you’re in need of some human loving, bear in mind that those you might be told were ‘whores’ in TwatWorld are actually priests and priestesses in this part of town. They’re regarded as sacred in The Asylum which means you need to be real grateful if they offer human loving to you because they bring healing with their loving. Everyone gets treated with respect around here, especially them and especially the children, if they turn up. Most of the children think this stuff is boring so they don’t come in here much if we’re griping – they’ve got real interesting stuff to do… like imagining the future. If we all start laughing though, they turn up just to find out what’s funny.

So it only exists in my imagination at the moment? Well, rumour has it that a bunch of Anonymiss have booked the Webroom downstairs and some of our regulars suspect they’re going to create The Asylum in cyberspace… but you never know for certain with them. #Anonymous ideas run around creating all kinds of new places in this dimension *wink*.

Don’t worry yourself about all the scarey stuff I threw at you earlier – that’s simply to keep the muppets out. There’s always something that will piss them off and give them away. By the time you’ve reached this part of my ‘welcome’, you’re in.

So, do you have everything you need? Herbal tea? Coffee? Bourbon? Want me to send a bong over? Have you eaten? Want company? Need to be alone? It’s up to you. This is your imagination linkin’ up with mine, so you get decide what’s right for you while you’re off-duty.

All of us know we will head back into the fray once we’ve given ourselves some space to be who we really are – this place simply provides a place of respite and safety for us to be who we really are together. It helps!

Welcome to The Asylum!

 

PS.

If you’re into democracy, you might want to check this out!

These are not Suicides – this is Murder-by-Proxy

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Suicidal thinking is frequently misunderstood, at least in my own case. The reason people suicide, so the story goes, is a tale of hopelessness and despair so deep that the individual sees no way through their problems and self-destructs in a manner of their own choosing. Whilst this might be true for some, it is not true for me and spending over a decade grappling with my own suicidal thoughts and actions, I have had plenty of time to reflect upon what is occurring within.

Have I tried suicide? Yes – on several different occasions. The fact that I am still here is entirely due to the Grace of God (however you perceive that energy – I really don’t care) and I have a few opinions about that particular version of ‘Grace’ when I am in my ‘suicidal ideation’ that are deeply uncomplimentary towards that God. Those around me, on such occasions, can confirm the clarity of my intent because I am neither hopeless nor despairing, but deeply, blisteringly furious. Only this kind of rage has the capacity to overpower my very strong will to live.

Suicidal thinking has been present in my life from childhood as both my parents openly considered this option on many occasions. Where it initially elicited deep anxiety, by the time I had reached my teens I was experiencing compassion-fatigue and found myself wishing that they’d just get on with it rather than putting the family through the emotional blender with their endless threats.  I might have gone down the same route had I not, at the same age, come across a spiritual wisdom that suggested if I were to successfully suicide, I’d only be incarnated again to face the same problems, only worse. It was enough to put me off the idea completely – if I was going to have to deal with this stuff, it would be done properly and this time around. For over thirty years, this wisdom worked very effectively.

I returned to suicidal thinking and action just over ten years ago when, as a result of a personal relationship with a man I now understand was a psychopath, I found myself in a reality that contained no Love that I could see. To be surrounded by ‘not-Love’ is to be enveloped by hate and it was a life I considered not worth living. I’d heard all the spiritual claptrap about what happened to suicides but had come to my own conclusion on the matter. If my God was Love, I reasoned, I would have an opportunity to explain myself and if I took responsibility for my act then my God and I ought to be able to work something out that would be satisfactory to both. So I took an overdose that ought to have killed an elephant… and lived.

It was a remarkable experience to survive because it gave me something I had not had before – a sense that I was supposed to be alive. I had offered my life up to my God – and my God had given it back to me. I understood this to mean that my life was meant and that I belonged on this planet. This was a deep and profound change and produced some surprising consequences. I learned that although my God considered my life meaningful enough for continued existence, there were a lot of other so-called humans who thought differently. It was the actions I took in accepting that my life was meant and in challenging those who thought otherwise that ultimately resulted in my criminal offence.

I spent the bulk of my sentence on suicide watch because I didn’t stop challenging those who thought they could play dice with other peoples’ lives. When people do this, they are behaving criminally and challenging their behaviour usually makes this apparent to everyone involved. If nothing else, the perpetrators learned to leave me alone or get rid of me because I was catching their behaviour and producing evidentiary proof. Within those systems, it was not a good idea to have a corpse on your hands, especially if the dead had left a paper-trail behind them. Since my sentence ended in 2010, I’ve been working with local mental health services to shift me out of this suicidal field because the pattern had, over time, entrenched itself in my psyche making it virtually impossible to move without encountering systemic notions that ‘in-formed’ me I had no worth. I’ve been doing OK with the help I’ve received, but the gut response is still there and rears up in the face of injustice.

 

The rage leads to suicidal thinking/behaviour was triggered again by this story published yesterday. As an example of the social disparities in my country, it really cannot be improved upon. The gap between rich and poor is so stark and the fatuous complacency of the rich so obvious that someone either has to be totally disconnected from reality or an active part of the problem not to be able to see it. Britain is not the only country where this is occurring – it is happening on a global level – and I am now angry enough to be calling a spade a fucking shovel. What is occurring is a crime against humanity inflicted by those who have no humanity and anyone who suggests that this is ‘normal’ and change unnecessary can be regarded as an accessory. I ought to know exactly what a crime is because I am a criminal.

The reason I chose suicidal pathways in prison was to face down the murderous and call them on their actions. Those who are indifferent to the suffering of others; who lack empathy; who refuse to take personal responsibility or learn from their attitudes and actions; who plunder the creativity of others for personal power or gain, are murderous in their intentions. Since murder is an acknowledged crime, such people have an investment in disguising themselves. It is only when their ‘prey’ turns and challenges what is occurring that the disguises fall away and they can be seen for what they are. When we talk about the difference between sheeple and those who are awake, this is the knowledge we are talking about. The ability to see the murderous for what they are and name the ‘game’ they are playing. It is a ‘game’ where we get to die on every level so they can live in the style they claim for themselves at our expense. The prison staff who had to deal with me in this frame of mind would be told that I was disinterested in quantity of life – if I couldn’t have quality of life I wasn’t playing anymore. I am not playing now.

The massive increase in suicide across the planet is misnamed – what we are witnessing is murder-by-proxy in addition to all the killing our murderers are actively engaged in. When we understand this, we rip the mask from the face of the murderous so we can see them exactly for what they are – controlling, hateful, soulless criminals. They are not just our leaders. They can be family, colleagues, neighbours and so-called friends. Challenge their control and they become more controlling. Confront their hateful behaviour and their hate becomes self-evident. Call them murderers-by-proxy and their total lack of conscience becomes immediately apparent. We are the collateral damage by the wayside on the road to their ambitions. Fail to do any of this and you become a collaborator in genocide because these are the people running our world and they intend to murder us all. This is not delusion. Those who have explored the fantasies of neo-Nazis find that the endgame of their actions is an empty world. Such people are anti-life at all levels; they simply intend to live slightly longer than the rest of us. They’ll get their way – if we let them.

As someone who chooses to be a part of the evolutionary life-affirming processes occurring within humanity at present, I believe this realisation is a necessary and vital step in our growth towards the new. It cannot be avoided. Not everyone is cut out to challenge this murderous status-quo – it requires a level of warrior skill that often needs a lifetime to acquire. There is a place on our planet for healers and ecologists, creators and craftsfolk – we are going to need all of us once we get beyond this obstacle in our path. What I can no longer tolerate is the level of disrespect some show towards those of us who have been challenging the NWO status-quo. Without us, you are not going to live to realise any of your pretty dreams. Without the warriors, you are likely to watch those you love burn on the sacrificial pyre of those who want us dead, closely followed by yourself. If you doubt my words, talk to the already impoverished and demonised because they tell the same story I do. They will tell you that the murderous enjoy this and have no desire to stop because this is what they do, this is what they have always done and this is what they will continue to do because it has become their nature.

At the moment and in my fury, I don’t much care whether people agree with me or not. I have a decade of direct experience which is more than enough to satisfy my own need for verification. What I am certain of is that if there is any dying to be done I’ll volunteer, not because I particularly want to die but because I’m damned if I’ll collude with these murderous bastards and bitches. Death is preferable to any kind of life they have in mind for me and I consider that my life will have been well lived if, by my willingness to die, I help to undermine or collapse the foul system they are imposing upon us all. This isn’t about me – one life out of seven billion is nothing. This is about something else entirely.

If you don’t want to face this for yourself, don’t. Face it for the sake of the future. Face it for the sake of the children. If you don’t, and if matters continue down their present trajectory, we may have neither.

 

This is not the whole story but, in my opinion, it is one of the fundamental realisations that needs to be individually acknowledged if we are to derail what is occurring to our people and our planet. There can be no authentic change until we are dealing with reality as it is, and not some cloud-cuckoo fantasy that will only collapse inside the latest upgrade of gas ovens. How many more murders and murders-by-proxy do you need to wake you up?

We are at the tipping point. If you don’t choose, the choice will be made for you and it won’t be me doing the choosing. I am committed to free choice. The choice will be made by those who enjoy ruling so much they’ll control you to death through all the means at their disposal. If that isn’t an irresponsible form of suicide, I don’t know what is.

Swapping Notes

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This is being written during the lunar eclipse and is a brief summary of what I am noticing.

1. I believe the energies I described here are occurring, despite the deflections and avoidances of the UK Supreme Court. The imagery I used – of a river flowing into the sea – may not be entirely accurate. Nevertheless, the meeting of waters of different densities (eg: fresh water meeting sea water or variations in salinity) to create a distinct ‘barrier’ for a while before they intermingle. (See below for an example – where the waters of the Baltic Sea meet those of the North Sea)

It may ‘seem’, in the world, as if everything is ‘carrying on as normal’, but I don’t believe this is true. Two very distinct energies are meeting and a natural barrier is in formation.

2. My second reason for believing this are as a result of what I notice occurring in Egypt. Following the Egyptian Court’s decision in the case of Hosni Mubarak and his co-defendents, protests in Egypt are occuring again.

This is a picture of Tahrir Square on June 2nd 2012. There were also spontaneous protests in other Egyptian cities. Yet I noticed something strange occurred – and I was not the only one.

That the Egyptian government attempts to censor the internet during protests is already established. That it appears to be occurring again, and not just in Egypt, ought to be of considerable concern to those committed to democracy and freedom.

I am inclined to agree with this conclusion.

Egypt is not the only example. The same patterns are obviously emerging with the UK with the Leveson Inquiry and its fallout, in US local elections as well as the Presidential election where what appears to be a choice for the electorate is, in fact, no choice at all. For the purposes of this blog, I will stop my examples here, but it is not difficult to find similarities elsewhere in many countries around the planet.

3. As the divide between those ‘in power’ and ordinary people continues to widen into different densities so, too, are ordinary people being faced with the consequences of their belief systems. The rise of neo-fascism is of deep concern to all those who fail to ‘fit in’ to this now murderous energy. As a round peg declining to fit into a square hole, we are also likely to be coming face to face with this separation of densities in our immediate environment, within our families and within our relationships – both personal and social. This process has been predicted. The problems we are facing as a collective are now finding their way into our direct experience and we are likely to be making some life-changing decisions in the coming weeks.

In my own experience, I am finding that my capacity to trust others is being shaken. What we choose to present to the world and who we truly are can be two very different animals. We can only really begin to see this during periods of conflict. How do people behave in such environs? Do they say the ‘right’ thing yet fail to walk their talk? Is the road they choose the one I choose? Are they fair-weather friends or can they be relied upon to do what they can to help when the weather turns foul?

Probably the most powerful question to ask is “How do others behave when we disagree with them?” I look for the ability to agree to disgree because I know my perception is limited even though it may be a great deal broader than others’. Those I would like to trust will see things I can’t because they have a different perspective but this difference doesn’t make either of us ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. In my reality, our differences enable us to create a broader inclusive viewpoint where Truth might be identified more easily. When we are free to disagree, without loss of relationship, we are both seeking a greater Truth than we might otherwise find alone and the Truth found is more reliable because we have not sought to browbeat the other into choices that go against personal understanding. The best outcome is to discover together that we were both right/wrong at the same time. This is the deepest meeting in human terms because we are helping each other grow in those places where we have not been able to see clearly. Speaking personally, I believe that if we are able to achieve such encounters with people from other cultures than our own, we are on a path to uncovering global truths.

Some people are simply not able to do this.

If I am reading the energies I see correctly (even if my metaphors are mistaken), then those who share the same ‘water density’ with me will be experiencing their own version of this process. My suggestion to us is we hold to our personal ‘truths’ as powerfully as we can because this will enable us to discover, first, how deeply our ‘water’ has been mixed with ‘oil’. This is a separation process that is natural to the planet and need not be feared. As we separate from ‘oil’, we will begin to fine-tune our energies into the variable water densities most suited to our nature.

There may be some urgency to this separation, simply because it seems that some of the human oil-slicks we have been dealing with, on all levels, seem to be in danger of igniting.

(Many thanks to @nagoul1 for permission to post his tweets)

The Judgment of Assange

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At the time of writing this, in just under an hour’s time the Supreme Court of the UK will ‘hand down’ its decision in the extradition case of Julian Assange. Whichever way the decision goes, it will have a global impact because it will inform the choices of all those watching as well as all those who are not.

Although the decision has already been made by the judges involved, the public declaration is going to collapse much potential into an energy that will function globally. It actually doesn’t matter which way the decision goes, those energies are poised for action regardless.

In very many ways, the Judgment of Assange – and the Judgment of Bradley Manning – will confirm for people across the planet of the type of ‘world’ we live in. Much potential has already collapsed into energy already – this is simply another step in a process that began a long time ago in the heart of Julian Assange. If there ever was an example of the Butterfly Effect within the collective human psyche, this is it and it began with a moment just like this.

At some point in his past, Julian Assange, and all those like him, faced a choice. It probably seemed like a very small choice at the time but it will have been as pivotal as this moment now. The choice impacted on the essence of the man. It will have asked him to choose between what he truly believed in and what the world was demanding of him at the time. There will have been no way that Julian will have known what the consequences of that decision would be. The Julian, and the Bradley, who made that choice were not the men they are now. They would not have been famous or celebrities – they would have been ordinary men making what seemed to them to be an important decision about something their hearts felt strongly about. In making that initial choice and in continuing to hold to it, they collapsed a potential into a bubbling spring of energy which subsequently grown into a great river. Others, faced with their own personal human heart-choice, have chosen to link into the obscure Judgment of Assange all those years ago, whether they were aware of it or not. The flapping of the wings of a Swedish Butterfly has resulted in a storm the likes of which the world has not seen before.

Every judgment we make tells the universe a very great deal about us. Every choice of the heart we act upon impacts on the collective energy of the world because when we make such a choice we take the first step in a Dance. Some of us choose the ‘Dance of Life-Death-Life’; some don’t choose at all (which is still a choice); and some choose the ‘Dance of Death-for-Others’.

Once we have made our decision, life has a tendency to test us to find out whether we really mean it. Our heart-choices cease to be based on that first, single decision but upon that decision made over and over again. It stops being a choice and becomes who we are. There will have come a moment for Julian Assange, Bradley Manning and all those like them when, normally sitting alone in a prison or police cell, we wonder whether we could or would have done anything differently and the answer we find in ourselves is “No”. We have become our choice. We are living our choice and we are face to face with those who have decided we should ‘die’ for our choice in one way or another.

Julian, Bradley and all those imprisoned for their decision to choose the Dance of Life-Death-Life are facing down all those who choose the ‘Dance of Death-For-Others’. This is the pivotal difference between the two Dances. Those who choose the Dance of Life-Death-Life will have come to understand, at some point, that they might have to die in order to honour the decision of their heart. It’s not something that we consider in the moment of our first time of choosing, it’s a realisation that comes as a result of the consequences. If the individual hasn’t realised this before, sitting alone in a prison cell will certainly bring it home. I know because I’ve been there.

When the heart-choices of individual people results in imprisonment, we begin to find out what we are made of because we are directly encountering those who are not made of the same stuff. We will discover – sometimes to our astonishment – that there really are those who choose the Dance of Death-for-Others and we have had our cards marked by them because they intend to kill our energy in some way or another. It is an ancient archetype of a dance and the steps are already known.

Those who choose the Dance-of-Death-for-Others, rather than the Dance of Life-Death-Life, will lose because they are dancing with those who realise they are willing to die because they choose Life. The planet Herself chooses the Dance of Life-Death-Life. Whilst death belongs, it is not the end of the story. Those who choose Death-for-Others continue to fail to understand this, even though the lesson has been taught many times over. In living memory, it has been taught by the likes of Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jnr, Gandhi and others like them. It is taught by Obi Wan Kenobi in the film ‘Star Wars’.

When the Dance of Death-of-Others chooses to kill, they create overwhelming evidence of intent to murder, whether the target dies at their hands or not. With the likes of the Assanges and Mannings of this world, this murderous intent becomes clearer and the heart-spirit of the individual involved starts to awaken the heart-spirit in others. What began as the wing-beating of a single person’s heart becomes a mighty river of energy that, with the murder of the individual or a Supreme Court decision, flushes that evolved power into the Ocean of the collective Heart-Spirit, becoming the global point of no return. This is the moment we are experiencing now as I write these words.

The Judgment of Assange by the Supreme Court is now known to the world – the river has joined the ocean in challenging the global grip of a system that chooses Death-for-Others. It doesn’t matter which way the decision has gone for the global Heart-Spirit because it is now aware, awake and active. It matters to Julian and it matters to his campaigning mother, Christine. It matters to all those who – regardless of any disagreement on detail – believe Wikileaks is vital within a system built on lies and corruption. The decision matters to Anonymous. It matters to Occupy. It matters to a planet whose creative energy is based in the Dance of Life-Death-Life and it is going to matter to all those who have tried to kill, quash or otherwise destroy the uprising of Heart-Spirit within ordinary people of the planet.

If the Court’s decision has gone against Assange, the impact on all those awake to this dynamic is going to be infinite. It will affect every aspect of their being in one way or another. It will impact upon those who are capable of awakening and who have kept hoping, in vain, that some kind of sanity might be present within our collective legal systems. It will impact upon our emerging global consciousness. It will vitalise the Life-Death-Life energy. But here’s the thing…

If the Court’s decision has gone in Assange’s favour, it will have the same impact because it will tell the global consciousness that the awakening can and does succeed if we hold to our Heart-Decisions. It will revitalise the awakening movements as one of their leaders is returned to us and we turn our attention to the next Great Spirit River called Bradley Manning. As the cases of imprisoned Anons reach the courts, the same energy will occur but Assange is the first, the lighting of the blue touch paper of the Life-Death-Life fireworks.

The Life-Death-Life energy is the true power on this planet. It actually doesn’t matter which way the decision goes in collective terms, what matters is the Heart-Spirit. This is the same Heart-Spirit found in the jail-cell reflections of the target who asks “Would I have done any differently?” only to find that their answer is “No”. It is the same Heart-Energy found in Egyptians realising that they so-called system of democracy is, in truth, nothing of the sort. It is the same Heart-Energy found in Syrians who, in the face of the latest national regime specialising in absolute cruelty still find it in themselves to say “No”. It is found in the Heart-Energy of all those peoples who say No to greed, corruption, murder and destruction. In my faith, it is the natural Heart-Energy of the planet Herself, which means that it can only prevail in the longer term. There is no other alternative. In a worst case scenario, if humanity itself were to become extinct, Life would continue to exist here in some form or other. On the other hand, we could ask the Earth’s mothers how they feel about children who are ready to die so that others might live – that Mother-Heart-Energy suggests that there might be a good chance of human survival for such people.

The death-dealers need to realise that the Supreme Court’s decision regarding Julian Assange has little to do with legalities anymore, even if it might appear that way. It is about which path the Heart-Energy takes now. In much the same way as Anonymous is an idea not an individual, so what is occurring around Assange and Manning is an emotion triggered by an absence of honest truth – the instinct to do what is in harmony with the planet. Death-dealers may think they can ‘take out’ these individuals, but you can’t kill the Spirit and every time you try, the Spirit grows stronger and becomes more powerful. She can’t be evaded or avoided because this Spirit resides in everything we are and everything we see around us. If Julian Assange is being judged for his choices so, too, will you be judged and the consequence of all our collective choices is in manifestation now. I don’t know how this will happen but happen it will because the Assange River has just flowed into the Heart-Spirit Ocean and no human thing will be able halt the tides of change.

As a former prisoner, I would hope that the Supreme Court recognises the justice of Assange’s appeal because I would not wish the alternative upon the man who has done so much to contribute to the Spirit of Freedom. Nevertheless, we are in the archetypal dimensions and they have little regard for the desires of the individual ego. Planetary energies are involved and the tsunamis of global change are crashing down upon us all. This is simply the crossroads.

 

So, with all this now said, I think it’s time for me to go and find out which path the Court has decided we, as a people, are taking towards our future.

Evolution 2012: What’s In A Name?

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” – English Children’s Rhyme c 1950’s

The above rhyme was common-place during my schooling in the 1960’s but as anyone who has been subject to name-calling will know, the closing line is about as far from the truth as we can get. When we name anything all potentials contained within what we perceive collapse into the parameters of the name itself. An example of this might be the difference between talking about a human being and talking about a human being of colour, or a human being of gender. The potential contained within the first collapses into deep limitation when divided by the second or third, particularly in Western society. Names and labels can, and do, serious harm to our human potential and our capacity to express who we are. I am as guilty of doing this as anyone else.

The inspiration for this blog comes from this story – “How Dr. Hew Len healed a ward of mentally ill criminals with Ho’oponopono”.  The process by which a forensic psychiatrist freed his criminal patients from the prison of his thoughts is immensely powerful. Having had personal experience of both psychiatric and prison system ideas about me, I bear witness to how important this form of healing can be. Functioning within another’s label/name for us usually limits our capacity to relate. When those labels are intentionally negative, it becomes almost impossible to break through the barriers imposed and even if we are able to, the level of fear we evoke frequently results in even deeper repression as attempts are made to force us back into channels the labeller feels safe within.

What is important to remember here is that we are both labelled and labeller; the namer and the named; none of us are exempt and what results is entirely our personal responsibility. When I began to grasp this idea, my first response was despair. I thought I had made huge efforts to move out of the names and labels game only to find that I was failing hopelessly in my own behaviour, especially when it came to people I didn’t like. At present, I don’t seem to have moved very far from that initial realisation, except… isn’t this exactly what the evolution process is about? Is it possible to acknowledge and recognise how we continue to collapse our potential into deeply restrictive names for both ourselves and others and for us still to remain compassionate and honest about our own failings? As Dr Hew Len has modelled, to do this work on ourselves is to do it for others too.

The process of naming is deeply embedded in the society into which I was born. It begins at birth and can continue long after someone has died.  It is done at both individual and collective levels, and it has been going on for eons. Our history shows that breaking free of a particular label often includes swapping one for another equally as limiting. This occurred with feminism in the 1980’s which, while breaking through the pigeonholing of women attached negative labels to men. I see it occurring now as fearful societies look about them in order to name the source of their fears: terrorists, criminals, gays, blacks, Muslims, women… the list is endless. The process continues to collapse potential for authentic change into the familiar fixed patterns of inclusion/exclusion that created the crisis in the first place. The only difference between the fearful society and me are the names that appear on my list! The realisation that I am not contributing to the new but perpetuating the old is very humbling!

As I struggle to find a way through this labyrinth, I wonder if the fundamental issue of naming begins with an assumption of “right” and “wrong”. ‘Right’ is then associated with ‘good’ and ‘wrong’ is attached to ‘bad’. Armed with these two weapons – for weapons are what they are – we sally forth to append them to everything we encounter, thereby reducing the world into these two distinctions regardless of any resultant harm or damage. When we impose limitations upon others, we do it to ourselves as well. How can any of us be so certain of our ‘right’ to say that such-and-such-a-thing is ‘bad’?

For example, we are told that the planet is in an extinction process – this is regarded as ‘bad’ for humanity, yet this is a normal part of our planet’s cycle. She has been here before and will, throughout her lengthy (in human terms) existence, undoubtedly come here again. We just happen to be alive at this moment to experience the process with Her – that sounds like an opportunity to learn. Is that really a ‘bad’ thing? We call our planet ‘Mother Earth’ in my language, so I call Her ‘She’ even though other forms of labelling apparently only see resources to be plundered for commercial gain. I may have opinions about this, but aren’t these in a form of harmony with what our planet is doing anyway? Viewed from this perspective, I find it far more difficult to know what is right or wrong.

In my previous blog, I posted Carl’s video of the astrology for June 2012. In it, he talks about every aspect of life being up for discussion at a time when ‘progress’ is frustrated. Perhaps this is the kind of discussion we really need to be having if we want to evolve the new. For example – what might we discover beyond defining everything as good or bad? The only certainty we have is the experience of existence itself. How do we deal with that in ourselves? I choose to give my existence meaning not because it is right or wrong but because I find myself far more capable of Love and compassion when my life is meaningful. I suspect that this is how Love expresses itself because others, over time, have said they share this awareness in their own way. To live within a framework that contains no meaning is, for me, heartbreaking because it fails to nurture my potential on a very fundamental level. Perhaps this is a woman-thing – perhaps not – but the meme of meaninglessness reminds me of those experiments with baby monkeys who clung to fur-covered mannequins without food until they starved rather than choose the metallic, uncomforting ones that would feed them. To live well, I need Love whether it comes from the world around me in the form of wonder or though my contact with other people as we struggle to learn what life is trying to teach us. In my reality, to live well is to be responsible for all my failings and struggle to grow beyond them. Such awareness cannot fit comfortably into ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – there are too many grey areas for that level of certainty.

It is simply not possible for me to speak for anyone other than myself. At the moment, I find myself slowing down and far less sure of my path. It becomes harder to write the more uncertain I become unless I write about the uncertainty itself. Yes, there may be all kinds of named and labelled ideas about our collective evolution/extinction floating around on the ether but many don’t fit with my direct experience as, equally, mine won’t fit with others. Alternatively, if my experience resonates with the time – as the astrology of June suggests – maybe this is the paradox of evolution/extinction where we are alone and together in the collective process at one and the same time.

For life to manifest, infinite potential has to collapse into energy that works its way through the Cycle of Change in order for us to survive and live. In collective psychological terms, the Cycle has been subject to very serious damage with the horrific results now being reported daily via our social media. If this is to be transformed, we desperately need to find another way to live together.

Perhaps the sense of uncertainty I am experiencing is an indicator that a new and different Cycle of Change is emerging amongst us and I can be glad I am sensitive and aware enough to feel its movement. Perhaps, too, the questions arising in my own mind about the power of naming and the destructiveness of negative labels points to an examination of all the introjects I have swallowed that no longer serve any useful purpose and need to become extinct. Perhaps this is the part of my own personal extinction process I need to work on as part of my relationship to the world around me.

As with all subjects I dive deeply into, I’m realising just how much I don’t know. Sharing this, however inarticulately, could open new doors to ways of living with others in a different world where names contain mystery and labels contain wonder. In sharing what I know, I can begin to see the mistakes I am making and if I grow as a result then perhaps this could be my contribution towards evolving our global society into far kinder, freer and compassionate paradigm than the one we are ‘stuck’ in at present.