Tag Archives: Awakening

“Stuck between Silence and Shouting”

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Sometimes words flow from me like a bubbling stream. Other times, like now, it seems as though each word is like pulling an impacted wisdom tooth that will not budge. Feeling ‘stuck’ is called an ‘Impasse’ by Gestalt psychotherapists – a recognised developmental stage of awareness which can last from a few minutes to many years. No matter how hard we try to move on, every exit seems blocked or closed to us.

For someone who has always been an activist, the impasse is about the most frustrating place to be especially when everything else seems to be in flux around me. Within the last fortnight, I’ve witnessed women and people of colour (PoC) in the UK social media respond to events from the rape and death threats directed at 1044483_388555921248582_1300936510_nwomen successful at ensuring our visibility to the unspeakable targeting of PoC by officers from the UK Border Agency. Whilst I’ve been able to share what I’ve witnessed, my ability to contribute personally has been hogtied by my personal impasse of being unable to string a sentence together I feel happy with. Regardless of how much I rail or storm against it nothing seems to change, so I’m going to describe this place instead. Like it or not, it’s where I am and real change can only occur from our true reality rather than what we would like our reality to be.

In searching for a symbolic woman’s story to describe where I am, the one that seems to speak most eloquently is that of ‘Sleeping Beauty’. The modern versions of the tale have been sanitised to suit the Western system I dwell within – with all its privileges and shackles. More ancient versions tell the story slightly differently.

It begins with the birth of a royal baby – a girl. In Jungian terms, the issue of royalty points to potential – we all have the possibility of becoming ‘royal’ but, in psychological terms, we have to earn it. The story tells of the celebrations surrounding the birth and the gifts brought by magical folk to bless this baby girl. Nevertheless, the community – wanting only the best – fail to respect the shadow aspect of the psyche which, in the form of an ‘evil’ fairy, turns up uninvited to curse her for the communities rejection. She will only live until her majority where she will prick her finger on a spindle and die. The curse is mitigated by a final gift of ‘light’ – the girl won’t die but fall asleep instead.

BQrVJ32CYAAsAFjChildren have no control over the environment we are born into. If we are born into the privilege of ‘safety’, it is a rare individual who actively chooses to face the shadow aspect of the self. Where healthy parents can, they make efforts to protect their children from the darker aspects of human nature – banning spindles, or pornography, or violence, or whatever else we deem to be threatening to their ‘innocence’. Much like the tale of Buddha’s youth (where he was ‘protected’ from knowing poverty), some children are protected from knowing the true reality that surrounds them (bearing in mind that other children encounter the dark from day one). These are both the benefits and costs of living a life of privilege. Nevertheless, the dark truths of life appear, no matter how hard parents or community try to prevent it. Spindles or the poor arrive at the ‘palace of privilege’ which, by their very novelty, sabotages the best efforts of those trying to prevent the prince or princess from awakening to the truth. The prince leaves in search of his own destiny whilst the princess pricks her finger and falls into the prophesied sleep.

In Sleeping Beauty, this ‘unconsciousness’ lasts for over a century. The sleeping palace becomes surrounded by an impenetrable thicket. Modern tales resolve the dilemma by producing a handsome prince who overcomes this problem and ‘wakes’ our dreamer with a kiss. Older tales, however, carry a darker resolution. In these stories, there is a prince but he is not quite so handsome.  He does make it through the thicket to find our sleeper but his kiss does not wake her. So he rapes her – a sleeping woman cannot give her consent to sex, remember. The rape also fails to wake our sleeper and the ‘handsome prince’ departs both scene and consequence. Nine months later, she gives birth to twins who, in seeking the comfort of the nipple, suck on the pricked finger thus removing the poison, finally awakening their mother.  Whilst the faery tale itself may end there, the story of human psychology has only just begun.

479820_342157262555115_1575246944_nNot everyone gets to live out this particular theme. There are many different paths to awakening which are reflected in legends and folk tales. Nevertheless, it is this tale that seems to hold the key to my own experience of this present impasse. The collective sense of long-term slumbering to our greater reality around us seems somehow apposite, especially when we consider what we are awakening to. If we draw on the older versions of the tale, our ‘princess’ is waking up to an environment that has remained unchanged for a long period of time. She awakens to being a raped woman now responsible for two children, surrounded by an impenetrable thorn thicket. Her ‘handsome prince’ has scarpered. Her ‘palace’ neglected and her existence forgotten. If the rest of the palace remains asleep, she is on her own – with two babies – and no education or experience in how to cope with her new situation. If the palace awakens with her, then they are all faced with trying to establish a place in the world that has long moved on to other things. She has been forgotten and remembering is going to upset all that has been established since her encounter with the spindle. If ever there was an example of my own impasse, this is as good as any so far.

‘Sleeping Beauty’ is a woman’s tale of initiation. It tells of the illusions that surround women. What can appear to be privileges are actually false realities because they focus only on the ‘good’. Life just isn’t that way. People are made up of both light and dark. We might try to construct a life that excludes our shadow but it cannot ever be humanly true because people are simply not made that way. If we fail to respect and accommodate our dark selves, these will – at some point – prick us into awareness. There will be that moment of pain before the curse of sleep overtakes us.

BQfXjw3CAAA-tuMUsing the current explosion of woman power in the UK as an example, we can see how each stage of the tale is playing out. Within the collective unconsciousness of UK women – particularly white women – we can see the ‘palace of privilege’ some of us continue to dwell within. Nevertheless, the Curse of the Dark Fairy is still active and, for many women, it has not been ameliorated by the promise of sleep. Women are dying as a result of encountering the dark spindle, especially those who are old, poor, sick or disabled, the wrong colour, or because they start making their own choices. Others – like those who simply sought to have non-royal women depicted on our banknotes – are experiencing a reality that has always been present but which has been slowly disguised with illusions since the last ‘outbreak’ of feminism in the 1970’s. The rape, death and bomb threats sent to those who had successfully campaigned over banknotes (albeit in a limited way – Jane Austen is surely a woman of white privilege) has torn through the veils of illusion that claim women occupy positions of equality in my society. We don’t. That is the reality. With each and every ‘movement’ of women the pattern is the same: illusion; encounters with true realit;, followed, for many, by falling into a ‘cursed’ sleep until the next cycle of awakening. I know because I, too, fell asleep. Now I seem to find myself in a profoundly neglected environment, having been violated and with ‘babies’ swallowing poison to stir me into wakefulness. I swear I thought I was awake all this time yet the evidence clearly points how unaware I have been. The thorn thicket that has grown around me seems so dense and deep that it becomes impossible to speak, let alone act. Here is my impasse. We can forget about handsome princes – they came, raped and departed whist I was dreaming. Now all that remains are consequences.

This is being written on the day when women have divided themselves. Some have chosen to take a ‘trolliday’ from Twitter; they choose silence. Others refuse to and continue to ‘shout back’ whilst I find myself caught in my impasse. I’ve chosen not to be silent but I’ve also not been certain of what it was I want to say. Having explored where I am, this becomes clearer.

From today’s Twitter timeline, there seems to be an explosion of views about women’s issues from all sides, both positive and negative. This worries me because it feeds divisions and invites the formation of ‘gangs’, all vying for being ‘right’. Perhaps my own impasse is the result of my deep unwillingness to go down this route again. To choose one side or the other would mean I must ‘put to sleep’ personal aspects of myself or experience being attacked by one side or the other for failing to choose them. Fuck that.

I am a WHOLE woman. This means I’m a mess trying to work my way through to clarity. For everything that might be ‘developed’ within my psyche, there is a great deal more that remains ‘potential’ only. In the past, when I’ve made the kind of choices being offered between #TwitterSilence and #ShoutingBack, I have had to sever aspects of self in order to ‘belong’. No more!!! I’m sick to the back teeth of re-membering myself.

BQqr0iKCAAA4_XQThis is the problem with splitting – what parts of ourselves do we dismember in order to ‘belong’ to whatever group attracts us the most? If we split ourselves, then it’s inevitable that this continues into the group itself which, for anyone who has studied the history of human relations, is the road to war and destruction. Again! Well, I refuse to walk it! If it means I stand alone, then so be it. I refuse to knowingly dismember myself again because I’ve worked too hard for what wholeness I have been able to attain.

No, I don’t have answers to our problems because no one person does. Anyone who makes such a claim is profoundly and dangerously deluded. We all dwell in a highly complex living organism of immense size which we are only just beginning to get a true glimpse of. What I do know is that each and every one of us – regardless of anything of human origin we might believe divides us – has the potential to contribute towards greater understanding and awareness of just how vast and 486106_343164372454404_1533168654_nintricate our living planet is. I believe each and every one of us – whoever we are and wherever we are – possesses a fragment of unique and precious wisdom that could enable humanity to live in harmony with the planet. If we are dismembering the truth of ourselves for the sake of a temporary human ‘belonging’, we are causing immense harm to that wisdom. Do we honestly believe that the planet judges skin colour, or sexuality, or gender, or any other individual difference the way we humans do? She created us as we are, not as we think we or anyone else ought to be!!!

So to those who are silent because the group leaders told you to be, how about you make up your own minds instead of passing on your personal responsibility to become who you really are? And to those who are shouting, how about you turn down the volume so we can actually hear what the softer voices are saying. When we celebrate our triumphs, let’s also remember our failings, inadequacies and terrible mistakes because no-one is perfect.

And to those of you who, in my perception, are clinging to the worn out old paths that have failed us all so many times, understand that I block because I’m doing my BPlbjnzCUAAg5webest to stay awake. I don’t want another ‘go’ on this Sleeping Beauty merry-go-round. I may not like the circumstances I find myself in but at least I’m attempting to take this faery tale beyond the illusory realms of ‘happy ever after’. I may be only one woman, but I want out of this thorn-encrusted history that does so much harm. As best I can, with all my failings and talents, I’m aiming my intent towards a living, sustainable and cooperative reality with our Future, who has just woken me, yet again, by sucking the poison of illusion from my finger.

 

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“Back to the Future”

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Waterfall Nebula

This blog begins with a complaint from the ‘future’ about the failures of the past. One of my social-media friends was tweeting his anger and frustration towards his elders – my generation who, from his perception, had used their lives to free-ride whilst bequeathing all our problems to them. As far as I know, it’s possible that every up-coming generation feels this way – I remember expressing the same anger and frustration when I was young. Now my situation is reversed and it becomes ‘my fault’ the world is now the way it is. I have a lot of empathy with that view and it was remembering my own anger that frequently prompted me to enter situations that, without it, I may have let pass me by.

There’s always been that nagging question when I’ve faced down problems or blockages I’ve found in myself or my environment; what do I say to the children when they ask me what I did to stop this occurring? I’ve always known what kind of answers I would give but, then, have always been faced with the actions I must take to ensure my responses are authentic because children deserve no less. Yesterday, my long-awaited ‘moment’ arrived and this blog is my reply.

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Artwork by Memtitued

Without doubt, the youth of today have a very valid complaint about the state of the world we are bequeathing to them. To all intents and purposes, any benefits my generation of Baby Boomers enjoyed have now been swept away and our grandchildren are facing the same poverty as was faced by my grandparents. It is as if we – and the world – have come full circle. It is not surprising that the young would criticize my generation’s apparent laziness and selfishness – we were, after all, the ‘me generation’ – because it certainly looks that way from their vantage point.  I remember feeling the same kind of grievances when I levelled equally valid criticisms at my own elders. It seems almost as if I have been preparing for this moment all my life. So here is my own answer.

On a personal basis, I have never stopped challenging the inequalities and iniquities of the social systems of the West I was born into. I fought as a shop steward in my twenties; an educator and psychotherapist in my thirties and forties; and, now, as a shaman in my fifties. My battles have ranged from the intrapersonal (with myself), through the familial, interpersonal, political, social and spiritual – and this is what I have learned along the way.

BPdgnHYCUAAopefFirstly, the social problems we are facing as a global community, are an ancient system buried deep within the pysche of humanity. Within our human community, there are very few who have remained untouched by this system and that it has caused untold harm to all life on earth – of that there can be no doubt. But how to describe this ‘Long View’ I have discovered during my travels. I tell the story in this way.

People have always drawn their deepest wisdoms from our environment and, in the West, we translated some of that wisdom into the discipline of Astrology. The astrology I learned, when I was thirteen years old, worked as a map – or guide – to the internal experience of life as ‘known’ by a particular moment in time on Earth. The moment of ‘birth’. Both astrology and psychotherapy attracted my teenager because they represented my first awakening that my human experience could be understood and, if need be, changed – I didn’t know people knew such things until then and I was so hungry to learn because I knew I had real problems I needed to deal with.

Nevertheless, the pressure of the mundane world – making a living and doing all those ‘things’ I had been socialised to do – forced these studies onto the back burner. I didn’t really start unpacking these maps until my thirties when I entered therapy, eventually becoming one of my teenage ‘dreams’ – a psychotherapist. Therapy deepened my understanding of how the planets worked in astrology, but neither study gave me the answers I was looking for. Those didn’t arrive until I realised my other teenage ‘dream’ by becoming a shaman. I discovered that by directing my intention down our least colonized pathways, I was gifted with the ability to see a compassionate tale of our human evolution despite its terrible consequences and the appalling situation we all find ourselves in now. Let’s see if I know the story well enough to tell it to my young friend now, in response to his perfectly valid criticism of my generation.

Armenia’s Stonehenge

Long, long ages past, lost within human memory but ‘known’ still deep within our souls, our experience of Earth was as if we lived in Eden because we dwelt within our natural instincts. It’s not to say that death, injury, sorrow and pain were unknown – for they surely were; these experiences have formed a part of the Life-Death-Life cycles on Earth from the very beginning. The tales are writ deep in our Great Mother’s bones. We humans live our tiny lives alongside the much longer cycles of Great Mother, She who leads the Dance of Life-Death-Life.

The way the story was told to me was this. The last time Great Mother entered Her Great Dying, She released a Great Cry of agony and grief for the loss of all her beautiful children – the echoes of her grief are still told amongst humans to this day. To ease her grief, the Creator Spirit elected to teach some of her new children emerging from the ashes how to help heal Her Wounds and assist during the next Great Cycle of Dying and ReBirthing. Both Creator Spirit and Great Mother searched amid the ashes of her Great Dying and found the few remaining females who became all of our foremothers so long ago in Africa. Into these mothers, the Creator Spirit placed a catalyst which would eventually result in the human spirit as we know it today: the ability to think, to become ‘conscious’; to become self-aware in a whole new way.

It’s not that we were ‘unconscious’ before – we were naturally instinctive, responding to the energy streams of Great Mother as naturally as breathing – an integral part of Her Great Tapestry of Life. The catalyst that resulted in our capacity for independent thought has enabled us to grow into an understanding of this world around us – where we could shape this world to fit our needs in ways that weren’t possible before. Human civilisations emerged from this catalyst – this ability to think in new and different ways. But what was the catalyst itself? I was told it was this: Free Will.

Thus began the Great Cycle of Human Evolution. When we began our journey through the explorations of Free Will, we still lived close to our instincts and our Great Mother. Our societies were Mother-led but as Free Will worked it’s way through our consciousness, we discovered we had other choices and began to explore where these would take us. With each move we made away from Great Mother, so we ‘lost’ our innate connection to our instinctive selves and came closer to our intellectual capacities to understand the world around us. We moved from Mother-knowing to Father-understanding. With each move towards intellect, our capacity to create miracles like Stonehenge or the Pyramids dwindled and this also included our knowledge of the universe around  us.  For example; there was a time when we had known and understood our solar system and Her place in our universe but this knowledge became buried in our instincts where our minds could not reach. At the very height of our Great Separation from Great Mother, the White peoples knowledge was limited to only seven visible satellites around our Great Sun Mother/Father and, so foolish did this limited knowledge make us that we believed Great Mother was flat and that we were the centre of the universe around which all Creation circled.

envisat_karman_vortex_canarie_20100606_h1It was the catalyst of Free Will coupled with human ingenuity that created our way out of this terrible error in thinking. Humans began to be industrious in work and sciences – eschewing and dismissing old knowledge like astrology in favour of mind-based understanding. We developed learning that could test our knowledge of the world. In the 1770’s, the White peoples ‘discovered’ that there was more to reality than we realised. The discovery of Uranus not only changed perceptions of the solar system, the ‘energy’ of this planet enabled a collective shift in consciousness. This gave the ability of ordinary people to collectively change their world and gave rise to dreams of a better world than contained within earlier  limited thinking imposed upon us.

Cross-section of a Molecule

Cross-section of a Molecule

In the following centuries came more new ‘information’ which re-established conscious links between instinct and intellectual awareness with the rediscovery of Neptune and Pluto. These impacts caused further changes within collective human consciousness that resulted in, at its very best, human beings being able to show Great Mother Her Own Beauty and, it worst, the true meaning of genocide and holocaust.

Our instinctive knowledge is being returned to us now, just as we enter the Great Dying again. For those humans who remember the reason for our journey, at the beginning of the Great Cycle, the time we have been yearning for throughout this bitter and painful journey has arrived but, as with all Creation, we must let go of our past in order to move forward, with our Great Mother, into Her Future.

Neutrino tracks (copyright: Cern Laboratories)

Neutrino tracks
(copyright: Cern Laboratories)

This is where we stand today. We better understand Free Will;  our power of Choice and its consequences. Until now, true Free Choice has not been available to humanity as we worked through the consequences of our choosing. Collectively, we are already down the Road of Returning. In human terms, that path began over three hundred years ago for the Peoples of White Medicine. Returning does not mean to live past mistakes all over again, but to re-turn towards Great Mother and Her instinctive wisdom of Life gifted with the intellectual knowledge of how Creation occurs. This is what our Great Journey outwards has been about.

When Great Mother’s season moves on to Rebirth, those humans who keep choosing to Re-Turn to Her Ways will be Her Allies and Helpers. Learning how to do that wisely has been what this past adventure has been about.

And this was where my story-teller ended the Tale.

So, how does that influence what I might say to the younger generation, who are angry with mine for our irresponsibility and the mess we are leaving behind us.

QT7i8Firstly, I have seen some of this wisdom in action in my own life. As I look down the generations of women I am birthed from, both my mother and grandmother were born before Pluto’s discovery. Each, in their own way, carried the Planet’s transformational power but only on an unconscious level. In Astrological terms, this means that the access to deep transformation was blocked to them – they could only go so far and no further. As a young woman, I did not understand this and there was no-one who could explain it satisfactorily to me at the time. Perhaps now, as someone on the other end of the argument today, I might offer my version to see if it is yet satisfactory to our new ‘young’.

I am amongst the first generation who was born with the power to transform. Pluto was rediscovered when occupying the sign of Cancer – the transforming ‘Mother’. We notice the synchronicity of Mother issues – together with the highly destructive expression of ‘father’ issues within human society. The first generation to feel the full impact of Pluto upon our consciousness was my own. Pluto was in Leo – a perfect description of the ‘Me’ generation but it is also interesting in the message that seems to say ‘Before we can change the world, we must change ourselves.’ It might look like self-indulgence to those who face such enormous problems in their own future but our collective awareness didn’t finish expanding. Chiron was rediscovered in 1977 – I don’t have conscious awareness of this power unless I choose to go looking for it. For you youngsters, you were born with this gift.

BPdfJjyCUAAJb_mThe solar system I studied in Astrology some forty five years ago has altered beyond all recognition. It has become infinitely more complex. As young people, you will have access to knowledge and wisdom now that I cannot even conceive of, because I am now – like my mother and grandmother before me – a woman of my time. My conscious ability is limited in what I am able to do, not because I am stupid – far from it – but because I am wise enough to know my limitations. We are but leaves of one season on the Tree of Life – you are unfurling to your fullest abilities whilst I turn the colours of autumn and will soon nourish the Earth to nourish this Life we are a part of.

Your Elders are wise in experience but limited in their ability to see the Future because that is your skill. Your ‘limitations’ will be to deal with the consequences of our mistakes when we took a hand, not because we are the irresponsible generation but so you can see how we failed. If you look around you, you will see members of your own generation failing too. This is because we have all yet to deal with the original catalyst.

BPfOcz2CIAExCd7We all have to explore issues of Free Will ourselves and on our own terms. Humanity, as a whole, is slowly moving towards the consequences of the choices we have made – particularly in the West… what I call the White energies of the Medicine Shield. Astrologically speaking, each generation born now comes with a greater capacity for Free Will than before which means that some people have the potential to lead our White energy in our Re-Turn to Great Mother’s Medicine Shield. But we will have to leave behind our bad old ways. This cannot be done overnight. Neither yours nor my generation have that ability. All we can do is ‘grow’ ourselves towards it and our histories are like rings within the Tree of Life. Each generation is ‘bigger’ than the last. You may not feel it now but the generation behind you is already nipping at your heels, chivving you along, challenging you not to be the hypocrites you claim we are.

And your challenge… eventually? To stand in my shoes and give answer to the charge to from the young that your generation was irresponsible when you were caretakers for the planet.

To you, my young friend, my answer is that I have always done by best with what was available to me at the time. I won’t apologise for my mistakes because they taught me to be wise enough to answer you but I am sorry for them nonetheless. No human being would wish our current situation upon another. My generation were prevented from dealing with it but I know you will be able to do more than we could and I am still here to help. I haven’t stopped battling – once we learn how to exercise our Free Will for the sake of others, we know our true worth and we never give it up, no matter how much it might hurt us.

And the prize?

tumblr_lzjcjsGDXG1ro46rko1_500For me? Three times in my life I have had the chance to turn a dream into a reality. The first was political – I ran a trade union for a short while but I ‘failed’, so I turned inwards to find out if the problem was me. In doing so, I began to realise my second dream; to become a psychotherapist but I still didn’t find what I was looking for. My third dream was to become a woman of magic dedicated to healing. This was the most unattainable of all – the crazy notion of a 1950’s child of the ‘respectable’ Tory-London suburbs. Yet, this ‘dream’ is my life now and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else on earth, not only for loving it so much but also because it gave me the answers I share with you now. This is what Pluto in Leo taught my generation – the power of personal transformation. I have learned that for as long as someone uses that power for personal gain rather than collective benefit, the Peoples suffer. I have learned to pay close attention to quantum mechanics, Complexity theories and other sciences because they are revealing how my magic works. These are the gifts of my generation to yours – they are the baton in our evolutionary Re-Turn relay that will eventually create the Rainbow Nation.

In our times, we are the Rainbow Warriors – acknowledging our responsibilities; accepting our limitations; and yet still leaping into the Void in pursuit of our Peoples’ dreams.

Welcome to the world of Adults, young man. I offer unconditional Respect; for you are our Future and, as both Creator Spirit and Great Mother know, we need you now.

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Thanks to Julienne for this picture.

Thanks to Julienne for this picture.

Finding a ‘Place-to-Belong’ in Creation

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When I step back from the fray of ‘daily’ life, with its current menu of sleaze and corruption, there are times when I wonder how on earth humanity will find our way out of the mess we have either created ourselves or have been forced to live-within by the small-minded social thinking we are subjected to. As an imaginative woman, I am not short of ideas that, on a bad day, I think should apply to all us forgetting, as seems to be all-too-frequent in white culture, that the experience of others is different from my own.  This is healthy because it reminds me how little I truly know and how ignorant I really am, which is all the more important when I am busy telling my community they must listen to those voices we have silenced. Whilst such realisations are embarrassing or shameful in the moment, the value of such learning cannot be measured. I had one of these yesterday.

 

It is very hard to live in the UK at present without getting angry at what is being done to ordinary people by our government which cares not how many people suffer or die in order to achieve its fiscal ambitions. Everything in life is reduced to money; held by the few, denied to the many, and with the occasional tiny ‘aperture of escape’ dangled in front of the unthinking masses, via TV,  as a way of implying that talent results in success. I don’t watch television anymore but I see the damage done to those who do. If there is one thing that triggers my anger, it is witnessing this harm being inflicted upon those who don’t understand what is actually being done to them. Yesterday’s out-crop of sleaze had such an effect, so I climbed on my twitter soap-box and ranted about it.

 

Afterwards, a fellow tweep asked me to read their latest blog. Still full of the self-righteous fervour that afflicts those on soap-boxes, I was less than graceful in my immediate response (I’m really sorry, Inky) but I did read the blog. It was a humbling lesson for me, not least because a part of me believes I really ought to know better by now. Inky writes about the experience of being sightless in a world that judges the blind.

However, the hurt that I have caused people is in no way comparable to the hurt that I have been caused and am still being caused by society as a result of what I am. That will only disappear when I can feel truly comfortable talking about my sight problems (and know that people will actually listen and take notice instead of their eyes glazing over and my words being ignored).

 

In many ways, her words could easily have been written by me using problems other than sight. I know the experience of not being heard and eyes glazing over only too well and I had come so very close to doing exactly the same thing to her.

 

What such experiences teach us are our limitations and it triggered reflections on what is really meant by blindness. There is so much to our world that I am ‘blind’ to. It may catch my eye momentarily but my capacity to ‘see’ is switched-off and my attention slides off into other things I regard as ‘more important’. This often means that when the subject or person steps into visibility within my perception, I am shaken out of my complacency and into the discomfort of growing, which is exactly what Inky did. It wasn’t that I hadn’t noticed the event she discusses – I most certainly had. The harm within the viewpoint she was challenging had certainly impacted upon another ‘blind’ tweep I follow. I had witnessed @WelshWallace turn away from Twitter that night as a result of the mind-numbing stupidity of others whose careless comments about blindness must have impacted upon her very obvious talent as a sculptress. I may have noticed her turning away, but I did not ‘see’ it – in that moment, the person who was truly blind was me and my ‘disability’ had nothing to do with sightlessness. When I shared the blog with her, ”Welsh’ affirmed Inky’s experience completely – there was nothing she disagreed with.

Or am I just a stupid fool in thinking that equality means that everybody gets an equal chance to be themselves and achieve their goals in the way that best suits them?

 

This is not the first time it’s happened to me because it is the nature of the society I live within – all of us are affected by this casual blindness, especially in the West amongst us white folks, because it is inherent within its structure at all levels. It’s the outcome of living within a dualistic reality where perception is split into opposites and we ‘choose’, in our own minds, who and what belongs where, incarcerating others in the prison of our choices.

 

Here’s the thing: I know this already! I passed the theory part of this test years ago – or so I thought until I was presented with clear evidence to the contrary. Suddenly, all my ego-ideas of who I am collapse around me as I’m faced with irrefutable evidence of the opposite. It is extremely uncomfortable in the moment but as a spur to grow, these are lessons beyond value. It is simply not possible to grow up within white Western ‘culture’ and not be affected by it – anyone who claims otherwise is fooling themselves and misleading others. Those of us who, at least, try to think differently are inevitably going to experience this disillusion-of-self because experiencing it is the only true way to learn.

 

So how do we manage when we find ourselves in this situation? In my reality, we learn! For example, my dualistic white culture apparently seeks to subtract this bit or that part from our corrupted body politic in the quest for some kind of false homogeneity through the casual, thoughtless use of labels. As this is one end of a polarity, then authentic learning ought to add to our experience resulting in a diversity of profoundly different realities, as our physicists are beginning to suggest. What’s more – there are living peoples on our planet who have already absorbed this knowledge into their culture and world-view.

It would also suggest that we might be living in a “multiverse”—a universe that is much bigger than was once thought and in which the take different forms in different places.

 

How does a woman, steeped to the eyeballs in contemporary white culture, approach these concepts with a healthy-enough attitude that they inform, at the very least, my own world-view? Today, my advice to myself is to know that I am truly blind. Why? For as long as I believe I know a great deal about diversity, I am blinded by my own ideas because there is no room for authentic difference – by filling myself up with self-importance, I eclipse the multiverses evolving within the peoples around me. When I do that, I become a product of this prevailing culture apparently intent upon destroying all evidence of diversity, harming myself as well as others. If I can’t find out of this trap, then there’s every chance the problem may become permanent!

During the 1960′s and well into the following two decades, a branch of pop psychology developed which began to make some very speculative assumptions about the specific roles the two hemispheres of our brain play in our cognitive awareness and functioning. The general understanding developed that the left hemisphere of the brain was essentially analytical and concerned with processes and quantitative evaluation, while the right hemisphere of the human brain was where the artists and dreamers resided. This is a very simplistic understanding; and in recent years, imaging research has shown that both hemispheres share more or less the same attributes, and both can equally process the same cognitive functionality. However, and this is crucial, there is a level of redundancy in both hemispheres.

The growing speculation for the need for two (asymmetrical) brain hemispheres is to perform two acts of awareness. The left brain is devoted to specific tasks and objectives, while the right brain acts as a kind of peripheral awareness. There has to be a kind of background seeing, as well as immediate attention to the task at hand. Think of an early human on the side of a riverbank trying to spear a salmon—the left brain would be devoted to this task. In order to maintain awareness of the environment and possible dangers therein, the right hemisphere of the human brain is ‘looking’ out for predators such as a saber-tooth tiger seeking an easy meal in the form of a prehistoric human who is completely concentrated on catching a fish. Hence, why the right brain is often associated with insight, intuition and noetic realisations. Which is why artists tend to have an ability to see changes in their environment and social conditions before the rest of the population. Their ‘background vision’ is more highly developed due to them using both hemispheres of their brain for the purpose they were intended.

The left brain, on the other hand, has been shown to be highly narcissistic and with an inflated sense of its own worth and status. The left hemisphere sees no problem with itself, and this has been shown in stroke patients who lost the use of the right hemisphere of their brain. Operating in left-brain mode only, they assumed they were perfectly fine until they attempted to get out of bed only to discover they were paralysed on one side.

Between the left and right hemispheres of the human brain is the corpus callosum, which is a thin membrane of nerve fibers which separates the two halves and has now been shown that rather than being a communicative link between the two brain halves, it acts more like a buffer, with the left brain in Western people having a desire to literally switch off the neural activity in the right hemisphere. This is one meme which Betty Edwards was correct about in her book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain—the left hemisphere is a bully. In overly logical and analytical individuals, fMRI scans have shown the left brain actually inhibits the right brain—via the corpus callosum nerve fibers—from offering its contribution to the entire cognitive process. This state of right hemisphere nullification is where the debunker and the hardcore skeptics are trapped and can never leave—in their intolerant and highly narcissistic left hemisphere—using the two percent of neural wiring into their right hemisphere in order to shut it off. Ordering the right hemisphere to cease activity while the left side of the brain saves the world from ‘morons’ who dare question official government press releases or the mandates from any authority figure or bureaucratic institutions.

Along with this, their intuition and ‘background awareness’ are likewise diminished. (link)
 

So how to go about addressing this very serious problem creatively and compassionately?

 

The first step, I suspect, would be for me to get a realistic grasp of my place in Creation which, in my case, would have to include an awareness of my ignorance. Measured against the rainbow wisdom of Indigenous people, my knowledge of true reality seems to score about 0.005 to their 8 or 9 (bear in mind that these are my measures alone). To catch up with such astonishing wisdom is probably going to take me more than a dozen lifetimes and by the time I arrive, these multiversed souls will have been long gone. In theory, I could argue that this is a very good thing to know – that there exists a living ‘Road to Wisdom’ upon which my spirit can travel, grow and evolve – but as I have already illustrated, theory and practice are very different criaturas! What can I expect on this journey through Spirit?

 

Well, if present experience is anything to go by, I’m going to remain an ignoramus for a very long time and the path will be strewn with my many mistakes, both embarrassing and shameful, as I finally begin to appreciate the wonder of Mystery. Each and every spark of life carries a unique aspect that can only be understood on its own terms, not mine. For as long as my perceptions are seduced by this dark side of white culture, I will be as callously destructive towards the diversity of others as the worst fascist who ever lived. I have to accept that, in this lifetime, I am just beginning the road back to health and its going to be a very long journey.

 

So is such a rocky, difficult road worth taking? If I look to my dreams of a fair and healthy human society occupying our proper place on a miraculously living blue planet travelling an endless multiverse of existence/experience, then my answer has to be ‘Yes’. Nevertheless, such a journey will need to be taken one step at a time, with all the detours, blockages and dead-ends I have already experienced in this lifetime.

 

Where do I start? With the reality I experience through my relationship with everything that is ‘not-me’. For example: at present, I am blind to the experience and wisdom of life without physical ‘sight’ (bearing in mind this could easily change), so in opening myself to the shared experience of sightlessness will introduce me to the ‘Mystery’ of otherness. Within this, there will be information I would never even conceive of from my own limited perspective, together with what this evokes in all of us. I will learn, through experience rather than theory, what it takes to be a tiny part of Creation in healthy human form, with all my failings and ecstasies, alongside all my fellow travelers. In doing so, I will find my true place in this multiverse of multiverses because I belong within it.

 

Throughout human history, we have hinted to ourselves repeatedly that the universe we dwell within is ‘One’; a Great Mystery, both manifest and Spirit, some call God. Perhaps – I don’t know – the ‘stinking gift’ of white culture is our reminder of what occurs when we forget and commit hubris by believing we know better than the astonishing reality we actually do dwell within.

 

In the meantime, I can give thanks to all those who shared their time and patience educating this foolish traveler with the wisdom they have acquired. None of us will ever ‘know’ the Great Mystery but we can share what we have learned along our life paths and patch-work together an idea 0f what we could become as we step into our unknown future.

 

 

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“The #UK Human Cull: Progress Report” #NotSatire #EvidenceBased

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The red areas are doing significantly worse than the national average (source: BBC)

 

Today, the BBC is reporting on this: “Longer Lives” – you can find the report here. The aim of this post is to identify how the UK elite report on this with a particular emphasis on what they have failed to include. So let’s start with the BBC’s report first:-

 

The local variation in early death rates revealed in a new league table for England is “shocking” and must drive action to improve health, Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has said.

Public Health England’s Longer Lives website, which ranks local authorities, shows people in north-west England are at the greatest risk of dying early.

Mr Hunt said the data could be used to tackle smoking, drinking and obesity.

Labour called for a “One Nation approach” to end health inequalities.

 

In fact, Jeremy Hunt – the UK’s Health Minister – is reported as going further:

 

Mr Hunt said: “This shocking variation in early and unnecessary deaths means people’s lives are needlessly cut short, and that cannot continue unchecked.

“I want areas to use the data released today to identify local public health challenges like smoking, drinking and obesity and to take action to help achieve our ambition for saving 30,000 lives a year by 2020.”

Local authorities are being given £5.4bn over two years for public health.

 

Now isn’t that nice of Mr. Hunt? Or is it? A very quick look at the statistics tells a very different tale. Fortunately “Longer Lives” gives us the figures and you don’t have to be a mathematician to work out exactly how far Mr. Hunt’s ambition extends.

 

So, according to the statistics (and do check my numbers – I do make mistakes), 456,342 people died under the age of 75 between 2009-2011 (3 years) which becomes 152,117 deaths per year. Therefore to reduce this figure by 30,000 a year by 2020 begins to look rather a poor ambition to have, especially when the same Mr. Hunt happens to be privatising the NHS. Those figures take on a very different flavour when we look at how long we are going to have to wait before we save just these 30k people from an early death.

 

If we use present statistics, between now and 2020 (152,117 x 7 years), to ‘save’ our 30k over ONE MILLION PEOPLE (1,064,521.1) will have died. That’s a rather alarming fatality rate to attain Mr. Hunt’s ambitions. What we also need to bear in mind is that another report, “Walking The Breadline” and published by Church Action Against Poverty and Oxfam, provides some very telling statistics of its own which point to the likelihood that present early-mortality rates are set to rise very rapidly – here’s their explanation of why:

 

“We estimate that over 500,00 people are now reliant on food aid – the use of foodbanks and receipt of food parcels – and this number is likely to escalate further over the coming months. This is substantially higher than the headline figure of 350,000 supplied by the Trussell Trust, as at least half as many people again are provided with food parcels or other forms of food aid by non-Trussell Trust food banks and other emergency food aid projects.”

“Some of the increase in the number of people using food banks is caused by unemployment, increasing levels of underemployment, low and falling income, and rising food and fuel prices.”

“More alarmingly, up to half of all people turning to food banks are doing so as a direct result of having benefit payments delayed, reduced, or withdrawn altogether. Figures gathered by the Trussell Trust show that changes to the benefit system are the most common reasons for people using food banks.”

“There is clear evidence that the benefit sanctions regime has gone too far, and is leading to destitution, hardship and hunger on a large scale.”

“The growth in food aid demonstrates that the social safety net is failing in its basic duty to ensure that families have access to sufficient income to feed themselves adequately. The exponential rise in the creation of food banks reflects a growing problem and only delivers mitigation. Food banks provide a vital emergency service to the people they support but they do not address the underlying structural causes for the growth of food poverty”

And widening the issue to other sections of our society, CAAP and Oxfam go on to say: “It is unacceptable that whilst thousands are being forced to turn to food banks and millions are unable to meet the rising cost of living as a result of the Government’s austerity programme, wealthy individuals and corporations continue to dodge their obligation to pay their fair share of taxes.”

 

In other words, we have a problem with poverty in our country. It is interesting to note that the BBC reporting of this fails to mention or highlight that there is a connection between poverty and early mortality.  Funny that, because its in the report itself.

 

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I wonder why the BBC would leave something as significant as the above out of it’s reporting? I don’t suppose it might have something to do with this?

 

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When activists say that the BBC has become the propaganda wing of the Tories they make a fair point. In abolishing the NHS, under the shelter of BBC non or slant reporting, what contribution is this likely to make to our early mortality rates in England? For clarification:  I am using the word “Tory” advisedly. When I say Tory, I mean those who are or intend to profit from this. I do not include those who are politically Conservative because I believe they will be as appalled as I am. To fully understand what is happening, I recommend you read what the CAAP and Oxfam have to say. I add my own voice to their report and others have added their voice to mine. How many people have to say this and die before those with social and public responsibility begin to act on it?

 

As far as I can see, a large part of the British Parliament has forgotten the true meaning of public service, even though they attained their parliamentary posts for the express purpose of serving the public. One of these responsibilities is a duty of care to ALL citizens. I don’t need to explain this responsibility to those who already understand it – those who need to have it explained to them are more comfortable in the private sector because their inability to understand renders them unfit for public office.

 

So, in a climate where poverty is one of the major contributory factors of early mortality, how does Jeremy Hunt and the BBC discharge their Duty to the Public? They blame the usual suspects – obesity, smoking and alcohol. Since we can already demonstrate an absence of salient facts by the BBC, let’s look at what the CAAP and Oxfam have to say about them…

 

People on low incomes in the UK pay higher prices for many essential goods and services than people who are better off. This is known as the Poverty
Premium. Save the Children has estimated that it costs the average low-income household an extra £1,300 a year, as they pay more for food, fuel,
finance and other goods and services.
13
The Poverty Premium is related to food poverty in a number of
ways. The creation of large superstores and out-of-town shopping developments have driven local, independent retailers out of business and left the poorest people in ‘food deserts’ without access to affordable, healthy food. Superstores are difficult to reach for people on low-incomes; 85% of households with weekly incomes under £150 do not have a car. The poorest people in the UK are paying more for their food than their richer counterparts. Research has found that a list of the cheapest available selection of groceries was up to 69% more expensive in some of the poorest parts of the country than in stores belonging to the same chain in richer areas
14
At least four million people in the UK do not have access to a healthy diet; nearly 13 million people live below the poverty line, and it is becoming
harder and harder for them to afford healthy food. Lower-income families in the UK have cut their consumption of fruit and vegetables by nearly a
third in the wake of the recession and rising food prices. At the end of 2010, lower-income households were buying 2.7 portions of fruit and vegetables per person, per day, compared to the average household which continued to buy about four portions per person, per day. These rates are likely to have declined further in the past year, as inflation has continued upwards and household incomes have shrunk.
“In the most deprived part of the borough [Westminster], life expectancy for men is 17 years shorter than in the richest part of the
borough. If I went to Glasgow it’s even worse – a 28 year difference in male life expectancy. Life expectancy in the poorest part of Glasgow
is 8 years shorter than the average male life expectancy in India. That’s how bad health inequality is in the UK.”
Sir Michael Marmot (Director of the International Institute for Society and Health)
Poor families are not only hit with the problem of how to put food on the table in the short term, they are also suffering the double injustice of the
long-term effects of food poverty. People who are forced to live on an inadequate diet have a significantly increased risk of developing serious health conditions such as cancer, heart disease, obesity and diabetes; they are also more likely to suffer from stress, ill health, poor educational attainment and shortened life expectancy. Poor children suffer
from lower nutritional intake, bad dietary patterns, hunger, low fruit and vegetable consumption, and problems accessing food in the school holidays.

 

The report goes on to comment about how the government, which claims there is no money for poor people, has been dealing with what welfare system remains to us.

 

In recent years there has been growing concern about the hardship caused by an increasingly harsh and punitive benefits sanctions regime
.
In 2010, in response to the Department for Work and Pensions’ consultation
21st Century Welfare (Cm 7913), a number of consultees raised concerns that
if conditionality is increased, protections must be put in place to ensure that vulnerable people are not penalised.
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At the time, Oxfam’s UK Poverty Programme warned that the new sanctions regime being introduced alongside Universal Credit would “expose people to the risk of destitution. Removing benefits and leaving people with no income will result in extreme hardship for them and their families.”
25
In April 2011, The Guardian published an analysis of DWP statistics which showed a 40% increase in the number of people who have lost their Jobseeker’s Allowance (JSA) between April and October 2010.
26
In October 2012 a new JSA sanctions regime came into force, which  introduced a new and ‘more robust’ system, with low-, intermediate- and high- level sanctions. A broadly similar sanctions regime will be introduced under Universal Credit (the revision to the entire benefits system which the DWP started to roll out this month). Just three months later, in January 2013, an internal DWP ‘scorecard’ leaked to The Guardian revealed that more than 85,000 sanctions had been applied or upheld against JSA claimants in one month alone. This would translate into more than a million sanctions per annum, against a total JSA caseload of just under 1.5 million.
27
Most of the policy debate on sanctions to date has focused on the extent to which the sanctions regime is fulfilling its primary purpose in promoting ‘good behaviour’ on the part of benefit claimants. More recently, there has been a growing controversy as to whether Jobcentres have ‘quotas’ for getting people off benefits. As a result of this debate, the Government has now agreed to set up an independent inquiry into the use of sanctions,
which is a welcome move.
28
However, to date there has been little or no Parliamentary debate, or Government or Parliamentary research, on the wider impacts of sanctions in terms of generating material hardship, stress or hunger

 

As for smoking, when the anti-smoking lobby finds it necessary to lie to get its message across, I start to wonder whether that is propaganda too. With alcohol, Tory policy has never been in the public interest. Perhaps if the poor weren’t treated so badly, they wouldn’t need to smoke or drink as much as they do because these are activities designed to ease pain; drug addiction has a similar cause. I wonder why a part of our public is in such pain in the first place. At the same time, the Tories have put precariats outside the protection 0f the law.

 

As a retired shop steward, I can tell you now that public servants caught lying, stealing or involved with corrupt practices get the sack and are prosecuted – or they were back in the day and this is why.

 

A Public Servant, whether elected, appointed or employed as, has a duty to serve ALL members of the public because not all members of the public are able to speak for themselves and that duty is a “Duty of Care”. Society is a huge web of human complexity and people have experimented with a variety of different organisational models in order to manage that. The last time one of our neighbour society’s experimented with the particular model of ‘social management’ detailed above, the global community deemed it to be criminal. Arising out of those global lessons came a Woman’s Law – The Universal Declaration of Human Rights – and its a Woman’s Law because Eleanor Roosevelt gave birth to it. At the same time, the working class men of Britain created the Welfare State – which is where the people learned about Public Duty and personal ethics. The Welfare State is also Woman’s Law because every improvement we saw, after it’s inception, took care of British Women and Children. Margaret Thatcher began the process of stealing it from us. Let’s have a look at how far the Tories have gone with what she and Ronald Reagan began. This is the US but the UK won’t be far behind

 

 

I began this post, I realised how little I knew about tax avoidance, so I asked my twitter pals for plain-english (which most Precariats understand) suggestions. My friend, Steve Walker, has shared this this this and this (thanks Steve) and everyone recommends the Tax Justice Network. What there isn’t is a Precariat guide to exactly what the Tories have been up to. Nevertheless, the fact remains that they are getting richer whilst, at one and the same time, they are intentionally depriving more than a million people of the means to a natural life-span. In fact, the public are already being told, by the BBC and Tories in all our political parties, that over one million in poverty will lose their lives early by 2020 due to the debunked and deadly gods of Austerity. If that isn’t a declaration of intent to commit wholesale murder of the poorest people in Britain – but more especially, England – then I really don’t know what is.

 

Every single way precariats come at this problem, we see the same thing.

 

Public Duty has never been about the money. Public Duty carries a sacred responsibility that is understood by atheists because it is intrinsic to a healthy human being. The bottom line is we don’t treat people this way – not if we’re truly British because Gandhi told us so (apocryphal) . Perhaps Gandhi was wrong about a lot of British men but he was right on the money when it comes to British women.

 

To the British men – young and old – who’ve been strutting their left-wing credentials and proposing people’s assemblies that look remarkably like the old ones, I say this:

“Your methodology failed with Thatcher and it will fail again because I’ve yet to see it sustain a win. You fail because you don’t speak Precariat – you speak Working Class. As the rich got richer, the poor have gotten poorer. We can’t be working class because there are no jobs ON PURPOSE! The working class ‘leaders’ are now suspect and so are you if you are not at the sharp end of this.”

 

Then I’d ask this question. Given that I had a heart attack last November, what do you think of the DWP decision to call me to TWO Work Capability Assessments in the 10 months immediately following? What do you think it might do to the likelihood of my being one of the statistics of early mortality? Does this violate my Right To Life and could it be considered psychological torture? If it is, do I get to stand on the same platform as you? Have I earned the right to be heard? Is your life on the line? Because, if it isn’t you won’t know what you’re talking about and anything you say about us can only ever be secondhand. If you haven’t lived it, you don’t qualify.

 

Then go have a look at the Human Rights Act and ask yourself what you intend to do about it. You are not doing this for the glory, you are doing this because  women and children, alongside all our other vulnerable peoples, being forced into hunger, homelessness and early death by downright evil people and that cannot be anything but wrong.

 

And once you know what it is you need to do – GO DO IT!

 

 

Idle No More UK

Idle No More UK

 

One final point: I don’t believe all money-rich people are Tories but there are an awful lot of sheeple who are mesmerised by the lies and propaganda. If you aren’t one of them and you are money-rich, then now is the time to start giving it away to women. Keep what you need and give the rest away without strings. The women will take care of the rest – honest men included – and woe betide any woman caught misappropriating or misusing this without reasonable excuse. Self-serving misuse is no longer regarded as reasonable. Money is a tool, not an ambition. I say this now because tomorrow I might be dead and I’d regret not saying it when I could.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Precariat advice on dealing with closet fascists

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Yesterday, a fellow precariat posted this on the internet. I don’t know who this brother is or whether he has acted on his feelings but I know the rage he feels about how he has been treated because I feel much the same way when I am suicidal. If he has committed suicide, then his blog speaks the same language as Stephanie Botterill and Vicky Harrison. Indeed, if this brother does take his own life then, in truth, it might be a kinder ending than experienced by some in his position given the way the impoverished and homeless are treated by some in our community.

 

BIuqy41CEAIw50CLet’s be quite plain here – when the number of deaths, per week, due to Welfare Reform, had risen to 73 last October, we can make an educated guess which way those numbers have gone since the latest round of welfare cuts kicked in last April. This is murder-by-government.

 

When I worked as a psychotherapist I attracted, for some reason, a statistically-significant number of clients who were the children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. The fact that my professional supervisor was German enabled me to deepen my knowledge of what went on under that facsist regime. During one discussion, I pointed out to her that there had been many other holocausts since and asked why, in her opinion, the German version was so bad. She replied that, for her, the fact that the wholesale murder of people had been done by an elected government – it had been systematic and ‘legal’ done in the name of an entire country’s people – therefore carried a far greater ‘weight of sin’. Whilst I wasn’t certain I agreed with her at the time – I hadn’t lived the experience then – it is much harder to disagree with her now. I mention this wisdom, learned over twenty years ago, because it has informed me ever since and might suggest that I know what I am talking about when I say that the British parliament is filled with fascists in all of our political parties.

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When we – anyone, really, not just precariats – is faced with others who believe our only value to our community is by being dead, one of the first things we might try is communication. This is a fascinating exercise for anyone who has tried it. In the UK, Spartacus tried. The outcome is detailed here and matches my own experience. True fascists avoid such conversations – even if they are ‘obliged’ by standards and rules to listen. It’s an interesting avoidance because, once we force the issue (usually following months of ignoring us), they switch the focus from content (“You are systematically killing people”) to ‘process’ (“You aren’t being polite so I’m not going to talk to you”). I’ve always been interested by the emphasis those with murderous intent place on politeness, although it’s taken me years to see how this process works well enough to put it into words.

 

There’s an example of this occurring at the moment. A collection of our church leaders in the UK have demanded an apology from Coalition ministers for their misuse of statistics as a means of demonising the poor. The same church leaders have worked hard, alongside other anti-poverty campaigns, to counter this propaganda but seem to be having as much success as Spartacus, the courts and the EU. It doesn’t matter how much evidence well-meaning people present; how many laws we enforce; how many petitions we sign or how many protests we attend – the government isn’t listening because it doesn’t want to.

 

What interests me is the peoples’ response. Speaking as a precariat, with my brothers and sisters unlawfully suffering and dying in their tens of thousands around me, I want to know when our ‘supporters’ are going to wake up to what is really going on around them and understand that apologies will never be enough. To truly apologise is to acknowledge our wrong-doing, provide restitution where possible and never commit that sin again. Show me the evidence that our parliamentarians understand this because, with the exception of a very few, I see no sign of such awareness. What I see are these ‘people’ not giving a toss for what anyone else thinks and carrying on regardless, whilst closing their minds on the grounds that we aren’t being polite. Exactly where does this behaviour fuck off in the minds of our middle-classes?

 

The Wannsee Conference (Berlin 1942) on the “Final Solution”…

“ushered in the final stage of escalation of the extermination policy – the incorporation of the whole of German-occupied Europe in a comprehensive programme of systematic annihilation of the Jews. The evolution of such a programme, once intiated as a planned operation, rapidly gathered pace in the spring…”

Ian Kershaw: “Hitler, the Germans and the Final Solution” 2008

Following the publication of the first of my precariat pieces, I came across a blog by Dan Silver which, in its own academic way, says that we will not achieve any meaningful social change without talking to those presently excluded from social discourse. As a precariat, I would agree entirely but for three reasons: firstly, precariats have experienced nothing but being ‘talked at’ scaled_full_c82403f5ec81a55b08fb– only the few actually listen; secondly, if you want us to listen to what you have to say, it might help if you started talking in plain English and, finally, any conversation has to be translated into action, otherwise why should we waste our time and intelligence with you?

 

There is a very big problem that gets in the way of any meaningful communication between various sections of our community and that resides in emotional intelligence and experience. Unless someone has actually experienced the underlying intent of our all-party UK government policy, you are going to have to take our precariat word and evidence that it is already murderous and many don’t ‘get’ this. Those in more comfortable circumstances (like having a sound roof over your head, a bed to sleep in and food to eat when you are hungry) won’t have experienced the feelings that erupt as a result of not having them. These are the people who complain about our precariat ‘attitude-problem’. To those I would say this – if someone is systematically trying to kill me, how the fuck am I supposed to feel?

 

workfare-stick-upAs a psychotherapist, I learned that anger is the healthy response to abuse. As a precariat, I am not supposed to express this anger, so what am I supposed to do with it? According to the fascist doctor I met in prison, I’m not supposed to feel anger at all! Well, that can fuck off for a start. In human terms, anger is the impetus enabling our ability to change things that are unhealthy for us. So when the comfortably-off chattering classes start bitching about my attitude, that tells me they don’t want anything to change that might affect them even slightly – like the discomfort of listening to those they have systematically silenced whilst colluding with our wholesale murder. You see, that’s the thing about precariats – we have a tendency to call a spade a fucking shovel.

 

Th problem continues closer to the precariat class too. The working class are getting hit as hard or, in some cases, harder (although I haven’t seen evidence that they are dying in the same numbers as precariats). They also have a history of organising themselves – which is what they are doing now. As a former Trade Union official, I’ll wave to my comrades of the People’s Assembly; recognise our common enemy; and then say this:

BKIsb8jCYAA0XQl“You are not going to change a fucking thing until you get right down to the bottom of society. Your Peoples’ Assembly fails to include the precariats because, hey, we’re going to cost you money to listen to us. You’re going to have to shell out for bus-fares to get precariats (and, for that matter, your poorest TU members) to your meetings. Perhaps you may need to feed us too. Remember that when you go out for a pint afterwards, if you want us there you’re the one that’s buying because we can’t afford to. In rural areas like mine, you may need to give me a lift back to my precarious home because the buses stop running early – or, if my worst imaginings come true, back to my tent if it’s still there when I get back. This isn’t some kind of socialist replay of ‘our glorious past’, we’re slap bang in the middle of a fascist government implementing wholesale murder.

 

scaled_full_3c3cdc5606510b56ed22Has the People’s Assembly got any plans for how to care for our existing homeless or is that something that can wait until our glorious revolution has been won? If that is what you are thinking, you’re as bad as the fascists and you’re still learning the lessons of how the German people ‘didn’t know’ about the Holocaust. ”

 

At this point, I would probably walk away from the mic because I would hope, at least, I’d been talking to folk who are half-awake and not closed down entirely. To carry on in that vein would meet my own definition of impolite.

 

The thing about true change or growth is that we have to start with grim reality and this is as true for personal as well as social transformations. For as long as the population is governed by what it chooses to believe rather than what is real, nothing changes. We have to be as disillusioned, disenchanted and authentic as we can be if we want to change the world. Those uncomfortable with my kind of authenticity are those who, at present, collude with murderers. For those who ‘getting’ what I am saying, take a look at this and then see how you feel. What you are feeling gets deeper and stronger the further down the social scale we live, because every other bloody class above us is saying the same thing whilst, at the same time, passing the buck of blame down too. To the rich, I’d like to say ‘I feel your pain’ but, hey, precariats have our own and it’s bigger, better and definitely more colourful than yours. To the rich, I’d say that I’ve never seen such a bigger bunch of incompetents than you and if that’s what your expensive education taught you, I’d be closing those establishments down. If all you can come up with is more of the same, get out of the fucking way so the people can do the job you refuse to do.

 

As a retired psychotherapist; as a practising shaman; as part of what I believe are my social responsibilities, I have to exercise tolerance but I tell you this – there is a moment where my tolerance for irresponsible social cruelty to others crosses a line into absolute refusal to play your game of social niceties. I hope inactive non-precariats start to feel deeply uncomfortable with my self-educated, intelligent and eloquent stare coming right back at you from the Abyss because you won’t change without it.

 

We can make changes right now to how we behave but those changes have to be authentic and meet a real need. Waiting until you’ve organised this; or prepared that report; or had a discussion; or whatever other delaying tactics you choose to employ is no damn use to anyone. If your imagination can’t stretch to what you, personally, could do why not take a few lessons from those who know how to.

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Who knows – one day you might discover that you were wrong about those you despised.

 

If nothing else, that would be a step in the right direction.

 

 

 

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“A View from the Precariat”

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A few days ago, I found myself involved in a twitter conversation about desperation. My impression of my fellow conversationalists is that they were mainly salariats (people receiving salaries) for whom, I imagine (because I don’t know), the austerity policies of the UK’s Coalition government have had some impact but have yet to undermine their foundations of existence. Participating as a precariat, my response was markedly different.

 

In less than three months time, I will be encountering the precariousness of my existence when the DWP requires me to, once again, attend a WCA (Work Capability Assessment) with Atos to see if I am ‘fit for work’ after the 6-month reprieve my GP won for me last March. These so-called fitness tests have already been found unfit for purpose, yet they continue regardless because, as far as I can see, the plutocrats who run my country have decided that only they know best and blatantly refuse to consider any evidence that doesn’t accord with their beliefs. If I remain within this system, there are two ways my future is likely to be mapped.

 

First – depending upon how my mental and physical health holds up – I will attend a WCA and fail it because that is how the system has been designed. In the past, I could appeal and spend several months with reduced income until my case was heard by a tribunal (I’ve attended two of these already and won) but the system will have changed by the time I arrive at this place again. Now, when I fail my WCA, my case has to go back to the DWP for reassessment before I can appeal. I have yet to see details about how this works but, as far as I can tell, there is no longer any provision for me to keep my ESA until my appeal is heard – so to maintain my already precarious ‘life-style’, I would have to claim Job Seekers Allowance, which implies I am ‘fit for work’. So I have a choice – no benefits until my appeal is won (assuming that it is), probably for months; or JSA.

 

If I apply for JSA, I am then subject to a different kind of system. What is certain is that, as a prospective employee, I have little or nothing to recommend me to an employer: ex-offender (therefore ‘criminal’), aged 58 (“too old”), long-term unemployed (therefore less likely to get employment) at a time when jobs simply don’t exist and to cap it all, a woman living in the most deprived region of England.

 

What is absolutely certain is that when I am subject to this kind of ‘treatment’, I become suicidal.  I’m not alone in such feelings and I wouldn’t be the first to act on them either as any simple search will show.

 

This is no plea for sympathy – these are the facts about the future I face in less than 3 months time and one I am going to have to deal with. Nor am I unwilling to work. What I am is unwilling to comply with a system that marks me as ‘vermin’ and whom no ‘decent’ person can regard as socially acceptable. I’m unwilling to work for employers who refuse to value their employees because it would kill me as surely as the DWP would. As a member of the precariat class, the human right to life no longer seems to apply to me and if the changes to legal aid go through, our loss of ‘Right to Life’ will be enshrined in law.

 

It doesn’t matter that, in the three years since the end of my sentence, I have worked my arse off as a desister. I get on well with my neighbours; have an excellent relationship with both my landlady and her agent (to the extent that when my housing benefit was reduced, they accepted the new rate because I have value, not just as a good tenant but as “the best tenant they have on their books”); have worked hard with local Mental Health agencies to grow away from my suicidal ideations, and I continue to look for ways to contribute to my society via the social media. The system I am now caught up in dismisses all of this in favour of work-shy, skiving scrounger propaganda,  which alleges precariats are personally responsible for all the country’s financial woes, and who needs to be taught a lesson. Never mind that, prior to my physical and mental health breakdown, I had worked for over thirty years, including 12 years of self-employment.

 

These are the facts that inform the ‘desperation‘ felt by us precariats but which seem largely misunderstood by anyone who hasn’t actually shared the experience. We make up ONE THIRD of the UK’s population yet are effectively excluded from participating in our society in favour of a minority opinion of some very selfish people.

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Desperate times lead desperate people to do desperate things. Oh, I intend to explore what possibilities there might be, work and social-contribution-wise, that might enable me to hold my precarious existence together come September but, during this period of my reprieve, I also need to look at my ‘bottom-line‘. This is what it looks like from where I am standing now. Perhaps I’ll be one of the “lucky ones” who find a benefactor, and perhaps I won’t. What I do realise is that I’m unwilling to be subject to this death by a thousand cuts. Let death come quick and clean – in the meantime, I can start making arrangements for re-homing my beautiful cats; I can begin to make arrangements to recycle my present home to help those not so far down the despair scale as me; and I can continue to raise my precariat voice.

 

Desperation is not something we can ‘put aside’ because that’s how ‘they’ want us to feel (one of the comments made in the conversation which inspired this blog) – for precariats, desperation has become a way of life, courtesy of the rich, and it is literally killing us in our thousands now. None of this was ‘unknown’ – all the issues raised in this piece were known ahead of time. Our Eton-educated government decided it knew better. Despite overwhelming evidence that the ‘austerity algorithm‘  itself is flawed; despite all the evidence of the lethal hardships being placed on the poorest in our society; despite all the acknowledgements of ‘errors’ or ‘mistakes’; we see little or no change in attitudes towards the precariat. In fact, hatred levels are rising.

 

This is what I live with on a daily basis – like millions of others in my society – whilst those who have more cling to the wreckage and counsel against desperation. Tell that to the mother who cannot feed, clothe or house her children. Tell that to the sick and disabled, shunted through a rigged system designed to make them work or die. Tell that to the young people whose home life is something they daren’t return to who are now homeless and abandoned by a government with a vested interest in high unemployment.

“the coalition government is sticking to its Plan A because spending cuts are not about deficits but about rolling back the welfare state. So no amount of evidence is going to change its position on cuts.”

Ha-jung Chang – Cambridge economist

 

The thing about being a precariat is that every single welfare cut hits us in some way or another. We are required to abide by (unlawfully) harsh rules at every turn by a system that is actively seeking to find a reason to harm us, whilst our plutocratic ‘betters’ seem to have no standards or laws applied to them at all. People talk about the hypocrisy of government as though it is a debatable matter but when we can clearly measure it by the death-count, then it really is time to stop talking and start doing something about it instead! The evidence is quite plain. The consequences already roosting in our social statistics where each and every number is a human being in pain, suffering or dead.

 

Perhaps collective desperation will start being felt when other social groups start really feeling the impact of what the Coalition Government is doing to the people of the UK. By that time, however, the precariat will be the historical statistic that showed how UK Tories and their Corporate masters demonstrated how to do a ‘Final Solution’ properly.

 

As a member of the precariat, when all the chickens finally find no roost because there are wolves in the hen-house, I hope the ringleaders of this social obscenity experience the full weight of international law.

 

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Identifying Our Sacred Signposts

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In Ecuador's Yasuní National Park, butterflies sip a yellow-spotted river turtle's tears. The mineral-rich liquid helps the insects reproduce. In exchange, the reptile gets a good eye-cleaning. (Click on photo for more information)

In Ecuador’s Yasuní National Park, butterflies sip a yellow-spotted river turtle’s tears. The mineral-rich liquid helps the insects reproduce. In exchange, the reptile gets a good eye-cleaning.
(Click on photo for more information)

 

Human society is filled with those claiming they speak in God’s Name. They come from everywhere on the planet and have been responsible for both wondrous creativity and unspeakable atrocities, particularly in Western culture. It is a very delicate operation, therefore, to start claiming some kind of divine power for oneself – regardless of who we are. As someone who has made such a claim – even if it only applies to me and requires no other believer – it helps to produce evidence.

 

The problem with sacred knowledge is that it is – and always will be – absolutely personal to the ‘Knower’. To make anything authentically sacred is to infuse Life with the meanings of Love, Creation and Power. Each one of us defines and understands such qualities at a personal level. What maybe meaningful for one person, can mean little or nothing to another. What I do know, from personal experience, is that if someone reaches for the Sacred with an open mind, the Sacred often replies with synchronous events that are meaningful to the individual.

 

For example: the ‘bid for power’ contained within my previous post has started producing such ‘proofs’.

 

The first is symbolic.

The picture at the top of this post, with it’s accompanying information about the Amazonian Yellow-spotted River Turtle’s Gift of Tears, carries significant meaning for me. I made abundant use of Butterfly wisdom in my post and, separately, have been clear of the importance I attach to the First People’s movement, Idle No More. For those unfamiliar with the cultures and histories of the First Peoples, it may interest you to know that the land mass of North America is known as ‘Turtle Island‘. Amongst the darker tales of the First People’s history is the genocidal ‘colonization’ of America by white immigrants in the nineteenth century, resulting in ”ethnic cleansing’ and called the “Trail of Tears“.  The First Peoples’ experience of Life includes both turtles and tears.

Whilst the article about the butterflies and turtle tears may have been published on 22 December 2012 (an interesting date given the Spiritual significance so many people attached to the previous day), I did not encounter it until now – after I had written about butterflies.

It is without doubt that I drink the shared indigenous vision and wisdom of contemporary First Nations wisdom as I struggle with my own path. It follows that such knowledge will be infused with the collective experience of the Trail of Tears and many similar lesser-known histories of the First Peoples. If I listen to the timing of our Earth Mother and her example of the yellow-spotted river turtles generosity to the creative abilities of butterflies, I might trust that my intuitions are guiding me correctly but…

For this to be true, there must be an exchange – there must be something to my drinking at this source of creativity and wisdom that cleans the vision of the giver. To me, unless that requirement is met, the synchronicity remains unconfirmed. Many First Peoples object to the colonization of their Sacred Ways by westerners and rightly so given the cruel treatment and systemic betrayals to which they have been and continue to be subjected to by governments. So, there is the possibility of a link but it has yet to be verified.

 

The second synchroncity is this:  “Ways of extending the welfare state to the poor”

The links in this blog are much closer to home. In my previous blog, I talk about the need to return to the land and to the communities who dwell there. This is written by ‘my people’ – I live in North East England – and my people are saying that ‘Names have Power’ and are starting to redefine the language we have been subjected to. The region has good reason to want to redefine this language given the massive loss of earning potential it has experienced in the last 24 years.

 

The third synchronicity is this: the lunar eclipse on May 25  falls on Quyllur Rit’i or Star Snow Festival of the First Peoples of the Inca.

The Quyllur Rit’i festival falls in a period of time when the Pleiades constellation, or Seven Sisters, a 7-star cluster in the Taurus Constellation, disappears and reappears in the Southern Hemisphere. The star movement signals the time of the coming harvest and therefore a time of abundance. For this reason Incan astronomers cleverly named the Pleiades “Qullqa” or storehouse in their native language Runa Simi (“human’s language”) or Quechua as it is also called.

Metaphorically, due to the star’s disappearance from the night sky and reemergence approximately two months afterwards is a signal that our planes of existence have times of disorder and chaos, but also return to order. This outlook coincides with the recent Pachakuti or Inca Prophecy literally translated from the two words pacha and kuti (Quechua pacha “time and space”, kuti “return”) where pacha kuti means “return of time”, “change of time” or “great change or disturbance in the social or political order”.[3]

(Many thanks to Mike Williams for sharing this)

If theory is accurate, this will be the first Star Snow Festival since the resetting of the Mayan ‘Long Count’ calendar since 21 December 2012. I didn’t know this festival existed when I wrote about the astrological impact the eclipse will have on my birthchart. Now it’s significance has deepened in my own understanding of the Sacred Mystery.

For me, this third ‘coincidence’ completes the sacred circle which began with the butterflies and turtles because we return to South America.

These are the energies that have found me this morning. That they have come in a three-fold manner is meaningful to me. That they arrived unexpectedly and independently means they are beyond my personal control – I did not go looking for them. They contain sacred information about life, people and our Great Mother Earth and seem to confirm what my imagination was telling me two days ago.

Perhaps the beating of this butterfly’s wings has produced an energetic reply. I will wait and see.

“Oh, Sacred Spirit – I am paying very close attention to Thou but I am just one small and imperfect woman who makes many mistakes. If my ‘seeing’ is true, May You Share Your Wisdom With Your Awakened Children so we might better understand your Will.”

“What I tell you three times is true” – Lewis Carroll

Thanks to Julienne for this picture.

Thanks to Julienne for this picture.

Emerging from the Chrysalis: Becoming ‘Goddess-Crazy’

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tumblr_m3vw637PgQ1r1ap3co1_500This is dedicated to Amanda Coleman with deep gratitude.

My blog has been in a ‘Season of Silence’ for a time. Whilst I have always found reasons to speak my own truth, when I enter my own transformations, words themselves often elude me because the new realities I am entering require new languages, new forms of expression, to make themselves understood. They are like new-born kittens; needing to be mothered and protected until they can venture out into the world.

The transformations I am presently experiencing, quite literally, around and within me feel as though I am become a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. My sepia home is now all-colours. My capacity to see the world and create art has transformed – it is as though the Earth has draped Herself in velvet to become even more beautiful than before. The Otherworld of my imagination is becoming reality around me. In this world, built on kindness, tolerance, forgiveness, generosity – all those qualities that are woven into what we sometimes call Love – there is so much to live for. Nevertheless, I am mindful that I emerge into a greater reality intent on my destruction and butterflies do not have a long lifespan.

A caterpillar-to-butterfly transformation is a very interesting experience. I’m so grateful that my caterpillar ‘ate’ so much knowledge on her journey through life: Jungian Astrology; community activism; feminism; teaching; coaching; counselling; shamanism. When the first transformation hit, in 20012003, I knew it was coming (astrology) and I had a rough idea of what I was in for. As I understand it, within the chrysalis, the caterpillar doesn’t shape-shift from one form to another. She becomes liquid and reconstructs herself into an entirely new form. This is the second Life-Death-Life Transformation and I am still in the midst of it.

As I emerge into this new world, I find there are things I must leave behind meBEdj59MCcAI-ohi as the butterfly leaves the chrysalis-shell behind. I experience this as being attitudes and behaviours that, as a caterpillar, I was once a part of and which imprisoned me as a chrysalis, now, no longer form any part of me and from which I struggle to be free. I know I am not free yet. For myself, I find there is valuable wisdom to be had from my experience but it only works properly if it’s shared.

I am guided by experience and wonder. In this process I have been forced to relinquish my social ego and have acquired so many labels that those who encounter me are forced to make up their own minds… if they have one to make up. Not everybody does. Please note, with that example, that schadenfreude and I still have not parted company. This is a very dangerous substance and must only be used in homeopathic doses (yes – I believe in the homeopathic principles because they work on a quantum mechanics level). Consider it a counterpole – without it I wouldn’t have balance. I’m told that this knowledge now appears on my ‘butterfly-wings’. I understand this to be aspects of myself that can only be seen clearly by others but which I might be able to get a sense of in what they show me of themselves.

What I am certain of, in this new universe into which I am emerging, are these values and principles that come from the Otherworld legends of my Islands of Albion. There is no way that I could have arrived at the place I find myself in without the help, kindness, generosity and assistance of others, starting with my parents and now leaving me endebted to the Sacred Spirit for my very existence with all stops inbetween. Science tells us that it is possible for a butterfly to beat her wings against the air that sets of a series of complexities resulting in a cyclone elsewhere.

(A moment of synchronicity: as I was beginning the following sentence, and the exact same moment, both the postman and my internet provider posted ‘Free’ offers to me but you have to buy your way to this freedom. This is a ‘message’, I think, although its meaning is still unfolding.)

tumblr_lhalyp5Lps1qb62c4o1_400In return for all the Love I have been gifted and the responsibilities I now believe have to others for my continued existence in this Web of Life, I want to find a way to the right moment when the beating of my wings triggers such a complexity. The thing is finding the right moment. That is not in my control. My Otherworld tells me I have to get myself into a Spirit Energy “Line” and wait for other butterfly people to arrive so we can beat our wings together when Earth Mother tells us to.

I know this to be true too. Each and every butterfly is unique. We are fractals of our Universe creating, in our individuality, a greater complexity of Life that begins within Spirit, moves through Ideas, into Emotions and thus, into Creation. When the moment of Creation is understood as an Explosion of Love, anything becomes possible. But to truly understand this process, we must have lived the experience many times over and in many different ways. As incarnated fractals of the Sacred Spirit, our experience on Mother Earth is time-limited – we recycle both body and spirit here, as I understand it. The Inuit understand this as ‘Eating Souls.’ If my soul is to be ‘eaten’ by others, then I realise my wish is to be nourishing to some and poison to all those who are poison to the planet.

To effect this, I must stand outside the strictures of the Old World as much as the Sacred Spirit wills. To do this in my own unique way can only become sacred if I become nourishing in some form or another. A traditional way to do this is to become the story-teller, the” Twisted Hair”, of living stories as a way of extracting the knowledge of more ancient wisdom.

This Storify is the way I have learned how to do it in my own unique way. I am answering ‘The Call’ to become God-Mad. My time in the chrysalis has taught me lessons in patience and surrender to the sacred. The Path taught me endurance and refined my understanding of the Sacred Spirit which, in turn, has been a tough lesson in humility. In my Otherworld, however, the wisdom gained has the strength and beauty of carbon-transformed diamonds. Absence of hard testing renders information suspect.

In the Storify, various women make various claims and then back it up with evidence. Those who have been tested understand the value of evidence when we tell our stories. We tell each other what we have discovered about this rich white man’s world we find ourselves living in. But there are gaps in the evidence because I was dancing.  So, to recapitulate the dance to see what all these beautiful butterflies created when we beat our wings together…

“Names have Power”: Speaking as a self-named shamanic chaplain with social responsibilities, this #WomanWisdom comes from the Celtic Otherworld and is borne out in our  intersectional experience of rwmw. Reclaiming true names gives us power because many people then hear the call. It is what Jesus the shepherd meant by the calling of different flocks. If the Wyrrd is True, we each hear it in our own way and on our own terms. That is the Way of the Sacred. This means the same truth can be said in many different ways.

“We become what we believe”: Our imaginations have become colonised by the rwmw who, by their attacks on us, reveal to us our strengths. We must be careful of the traps and snares of the collectivised imagination. For example, our greatest strengths will be found in all those places the rwmw despises most: women and children across the face of the planet. If we truly wish to contribute to creative change, the seeds of manifestation will be found here amongst the exiles of the rwmw world.

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“Nature tells us what we need to know”:  As I write these words, I hear the suckling of three-day old kittens because their mother insisted she wanted to birth beneath my computer desk. Nature communicates to us at all levels. This is why I believe we must listen to our Indigenous Voices – the ones who hear Nature more clearly than I can – and trust to their guidance and our own intuition. The more eccentric to the rwmw, the better.

“We are all One in the Universal Web of Life”: On Mother Earth, all Life evolves as female. Testosterone is a more recent emergence – this truth is reflected in human foetal development. The introduction of testosterone to human chromosomes lessens, not adds. Indigenous Amazonians understand this and see it reflected in man’s actions, where the women use this power creatively. Other First Nations women are addressing this and what emerges when man’s ‘destructive’ nature is guided by women’s wisdom. It is the nature of ‘man’ to ‘destroy’ in order to understand, it is the nature of ‘woman’ to evolve that understanding into wisdom. When power is not governed by Sacred Feminine Principles this becomes a struggle between life – as represented by the Sacred Spirit – and death. There are men who understand this – some I am privileged to call ‘Friend’, others I know only by reputation. As far as I am concerned, such men are sacred to women and are a deeply valuable part of our Holistic fabric. Such men will turn to join us when they see the path we take if they are not already standing amongst us.

“Be careful what you believe”: When people truly understand the creative spirit, we know creation begins in our imagination. But there are dangers too – these are imagination but many are fact. We are as responsible for our beliefs as we are for our actions for actions are beliefs-made-manifest.

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“We are at a fork in the Road”: We have been telling ourselves this for some time now and Astrologers confirm that the time is now. When I seek to understand where the Great Spirit needs me to go, I wait for Signs. Personal Power Signs include tornadoes and rainbows; Tornadoes, because I was birthed during a tornado; Rainbows have appeared as Signposts at highly significant moments. A third Sign, Lightning, has always been known to be a Sign of God.

On 8 December 1954 the (Gunnersbury) station was damaged by a tornado which ripped off the roof and injured six people.(strangely, the only quick-search link I could find on the subject of the “Ealing Tornado”)

All the Sacred Principles and Values are present in our Storify Creation and the links are made by living, breathing, real-life women whom I am honoured to call friend. If this is not a Call to become Goddess-Mad, I don’t know what is.

I have been surrendered to my understanding of the Divine, utilising shamanic principles, since 2001. Astrologically speaking, I’ve been told that my birth chart is ‘spooky’ but nowhere near as spooky as the transits affecting me now. This points to the possibility that I am intended to do something. Howard Sasportas (see Blogroll) was quite specific about this and said it would be something for women. The impending Lunar Eclipse on May 25 makes some powerful contacts in my birthchart falling, as it does, in my 6/12th Houses. Moon in the 6th‘Service to Others’ conjuncts my Mercury and Ceres which in turn conjunct my natal Sun. The Sun falls into my 12th house, ‘Surrender To Spirit’, and is conjunct transiting Pallas and Mars in Taurus, all of which conjunct my natal Moon in Taurus. The Eclipsed Moon in Sagittarius illuminated by a Gemini Sun – my Sun in Sagittarius and my Moon on the Taurus side of #Gemini cusp? This points to the clear possibility that I will ‘express’ something around all of these themes and paradigms. What follows are the ideas this information suggested to me:

If we work with paradigms, the Roots of the True Sacred Spirit of the Isles of Albion/Avalon are Female and She speaks to a particular part of the Heart in Men. She has clearly spoken to this man as far as I am concerned because She made certain I knew about him. I met his daughter when we were in prison together. In a World Turned Upside Down, this version of Arthur is much more believable and is supported by synchronicity (the story of how he was reunited with Excalibur is a curious one). In the face of derision, he does what he can to Honour the Spirit of the Ancestors.

But his imagination-created Reality – “if you built it, He will come” – bears little comparison to the work of another Goddess-Touched Son of England who wrote the words to the National Anthem of both Women and the People. William Blake asks me to tell you this is the most beautiful rendition of his dream we have ever seen or heard.

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If we truly want to create the new world we have been both promised and which has been foretold by many different global cultures, we must turn to our land and the communities who dwell there and search for the Sacred in order to fan the flames.

If the First Nations Spring Rituals for IdleNoMore were True then we should be seeing this reflected a Global Resurgence of the Sacred Spirit. Such a powerful Light would be shining into dark places, previously hidden from sight. I believe we have sufficient evidence to show that the Rituals are working. The increase and intensity of the attacks upon us are a mark of their effectiveness.

It can be shown that our old foe cannot comprehend the Sacred. It follows, therefore, that the deeper we immerse ourselves into our understanding of the Divine, the safer we will become as the rwmw structures crumble and fail – as they must if we have any chance of surviving the Great Mother’s ReBirth into a New era of Evolution. As we do this, we will encounter Sacred Mysteries.

BFlBobICMAAvoegIf reality and Sacred Britain collide in the person of King Arthur (assumed responsibility) then, in my imagination, it follows that there’s a Lady of Avalon – High Priestess of the Sacred Grove position up for grabs. If there is, then she hasn’t made herself known. The position has been filled, in the past, by women like Dion Fortune who used her power and responsibility in defence of Britain during World War II. If it remains unfilled then, by right of tested qualifications, I am willing to assume these responsibilities on a locum basis until the Goddess demonstrates Her Will to the Daughters of the Goddess. My particular reason for wanting to do this is to raise the Power of British Women, under the “Proud To Be Indigenous” banner to the Summer Solistice celebrations of the planet-wide IdleNoMore movement. I believe the Rites of Passage I am emerging from qualify me to be able to do this as a shamanic chaplain. I believe myself to be Goddess-Crazy.

Then I want to contribute to the People’s Healing and Transformation. I want to set an example to others about just how wrong we can be in order to understand health. If we trust the Sacred Spirit to lead us in Love then we know that the only way to manifest the Sacred into Reality is through action. Our actions. Our Personal Actions. We are what we believe. To be the True Lady of Avalon has always been my Heart’s Desire but I have no sense of ‘ownership’ – there can be as many of us as there are hearts as far as I am concerned, provided they are willing to be as tested as I have been, for then they may be ready to assume the responsibilities too. Magical Women of all Peoples know this to be True. If there are many of us, then I am happy to focus on web-weaving with other faiths and cultures and leave the Defence of Britain to you. I am told we must raise this Power against fascism to protect the Heart Chakra of Planet Earth – Glastonbury. I am told we must cut at the roots of the magickal systems but not told how this could be done – another Lady of Avalon has that information. This Woman Power must align itself with IdleNoMore in response to Our Great Mother’s Global Call to us – this I am told – and renew our Roots to the Sidhe.

It is for each and every one of you to make a free choice about your response. I am simply an example of someone who made my decision in the aftermath of 9/11. I do not like the choices being made by our man-made world. There are far more attractive options coming into being. Until I discover something better, I’m going to believe the above is about the best approximation I can get to becoming a Nourishing Soul. If you are going to eat my ‘Butterfly Woman’ ideas, may they feed the very best of you and that which does not suit pass through or around you without harm.

And if we start our actions anywhere, let us begin by feeding the Children.

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Women, men and finding new ways of relating

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Once in a while I encounter someone who I experience as setting no limits on who I might become for them. When this happens, I’ve always found it helpful to explain the limits I work within.

Here is an example, which began with a twitter conversation and has arrived at the following email:

Good morning, Danny 🙂

Arrggh – the ‘Abyss of Masculine Sexuality’ into which I could have fallen! Thank you so much for being a gentleman and helping me past it!

It might be worth explaining my gratitude in more detail because this is always an issue between women and men in danger of exploding in both our faces – if we can avoid this trap, all the better for us.

When I talk about this, remember I am not talking about you personally. I’m giving you an insight into my problems, not yours. Hopefully this may assist you elsewhere in your own work, especially when it comes to ‘women’s issues’ such as sexism and rape.

Firstly, my personal relationships with men (and women, for that matter) have always been fraught with problems. True; I’ve learned a lot and one of the lessons I’ve learned is that I get on much better with men, as people, when personal sexuality is excluded from the dynamic. I like men but life has left me extremely prickly around sex and sexuality. At 58 – and sans womb after a hysterectomy – I’m no longer driven by hormones into that region and, to be quite honest, I find that to be a relief because it leaves me free to be myself and to channel my desires into other energy.

I’m not the first woman to say that there is something about me that frightens some men. In the sexuality arena, this is because – on a psychic level – some of the harm I’ve experienced in the past has left unexploded minefields any serious suitor would have to cross. Because these unexploded bombs are emotional in nature – and many men have very real problems even hearing the emotional dimensions, let alone navigating them – it seems far more merciful for everyone to simply remove the entire subject from my agenda.

When ‘consent’ is removed, at the extremely early stage, we can see how sexual/gender politics affects the debate on the subject. For example; between us (and because my ‘energy’ contains this ‘No’ from the outset), it enables you to help me sidestep the masculine minefield by being the perfect gentleman – and I can explain to you why this is so helpful to all of us. Firstly because it strengthens trust. When men and women protect and guide each other safely through the minefields of personal relationships, we strengthen each other. Because sexuality and power dynamics are so heightened and corrupted generally at the moment, this is vital for building communities.

When I asked to be included in your web network, I was asking as a teacher and guide. I don’t know whether what I teach is useful or not – that is for you to decide, not me. What I do know is that I can’t function in that role if I’m bound within the limitations of current ideas on human sexuality. By removing that element – but not the minefield (funny how towers surrounded by thickets spring to mind) – I can see who is willing to put that aspect of themselves aside too. It is very clear that you can – which makes you an excellent role model and enhances what I am trying to teach. Thank you, young man. You are a credit to all those who raised you to manhood.

Our example enables me to teach lessons about love.

For example: the ancient Greeks had three words for Love: Eros, Philos and Agape.

Eros is the first expression of it – falling in love; being hit by cupid’s arrow. That kind of thing. There can be this element in a heterosexual man’s feelings for a woman included in his sexual expression. If it is there for both man and woman, then the chances of their love growing into Philos are excellent. Otherwise, Eros blows itself out in the end. It is not a lasting Love.

Philos is the Love that grows between friends. It lasts. It is the kind of Love that keeps couples together ‘forever’ in this world and the next – and it’s the kind of Love I seek to access with you by bypassing Eros altogether. When Philos is established between people (whoever they might be), Love continues to grow and becomes Agape.

Agape is to experience the ‘Oneness’ of the unified Universe – where nothing is excluded excepting those who, by personal choice, exclude themselves. (This is a Principle of Free Will – we all have a choice and if that choice removes us from creation, it must be respected and managed.) It is this experience I am interested in enabling other people to find because the information contained there affects what we believe about ourselves and others. It frees us from many of the limitations we are presently struggling against. What makes it different from all other routes is, in my experience, the fact that it is personal to each of us. Agape is to experience the universe with each one of us – exactly as we are with exactly our history – being perfectly placed to transform our planet and our lives for the better. It is to learn that each moment is a step on our journey and each choice we make opens the door to the next step.

We live in ‘interesting times’, as the old Chinese curse would say. One of the curses that affect us all is the systemic treatment of women globally. I’d suggest that a woman who doesn’t have a minefield around her is a rare bird, which can make life very difficult for men who do see us as people. In addition, the power-abuse dynamic (clearly illustrated in rise of BDSM pornography) seems to overwhelm everything to the point where some men are only interested in what they can get away with.

The advantage to all of us of ‘gentleman’ skills from the men is this. By behaving this way with each other by free choice (as opposed to some social ‘rules’), we can see who can’t behave this way and won’t be corrected. These are those whose free choice is to exclude themselves from Love and they do this by their behaviour. Who they are – or who we are, for that matter – is immaterial. Such issues belong to the relationship between individual and Agape and are none of our business. Our behaviour has to respect this relationship between individual and Divine (which includes Atheism too – it’s none of our business!) and we do this by treating our human relationships as if they are ‘sacred’ because they are!

When we understand this – Agape – we have a much clearer idea about the problems we are all facing as a community capable of experiencing this kind of Love. We care about this energy, so we behave in ways that minimise harm and accelerate healing. This is what I am interested in teaching to anyone who is interested in learning.

I don’t teach details; I teach Principles because these can be translated into our daily life in one way or another. Principles are tools anyone can use in their own way without loss – in fact, when we share how they work in our own life, we often give each other helpful ideas. For example, in my reality, I discipline myself around stealing other peoples’ ideas: the ‘property’ remains with the creatrix – I am only permitted to steal the idea if I can improve and return it in better shape than before. If I can’t improve on it, I must share it as it is, giving full credit to its originator. In a world of patents and copyright, I wonder if that works for others. Please bear in mind the pattern of our unhealthy system to thieve the ideas of women and claim them as their own. We are in the mine-field here, so let’s be careful of each other.

Finally, I’d like to say this. There are legends about crossing this minefield – it is part of the Monomyth. The Planet has nothing against male desire – She evolved it from the Passion of the Creator. The thing is that it is Sacred! You guys get a hard-on for God as well as women – it’s why the early Christian churches displayed you this way and why erections are sometimes called ‘godhead’. What has been forgotten by some is that you channel this energy, you don’t ‘own’ it. When you channel your desire to enthusiastically consenting women who also are friends, you will have a far better time than you have probably had up until now. Adult women have desires too and we can be friends to each other along the way to encountering the one woman who will leave you saying “Thanks but no thanks” to Allah’s offer of all those dark-eyed virgins. What I’d like to see is more gratitude to the women who do offer this to you especially because I don’t. If gentlemen are going to bed friends, remember she will be someone you will be able to easily introduce, without hiding your true relationship, to the woman who is sacred wife to your sacred husband.

This is how I would like us to love each other.

How does that sound to you?

 

Bear in mind that I do not expect these interpersonal boundaries to apply to anyone else but me. I share them because I suspect they might function as an example of  ‘good practice’ amongst those genuinely seeking to transform our troubled world.

 

 

The Heart of the Social Contract

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We don’t hear much about the social contract these days but, growing up under Wilson and Callaghan’s Labour Governments, I used to hear it all the time. As I understand it, the social contract governs the relationship between government and people; it defines the responsibilities a government has to those who elected it in a fully functioning democracy of adults – we have to be 18 years old to vote. The electorate are adults. Within a healthy social contract, the government has the responsibility to act on behalf of the whole of the electorate. At least, that’s what I absorbed in my Guardian-reader family home. I didn’t take much notice of contracts or law at that time – those only came alive for me when I was the Staff Side Secretary (NALGO) for Westminster Council during the early 1980’s.

 

NALGO’s National Education Department ran three-day residentials on Employment Law, assisted by a very able National Legal Department, and I attended one of these in Motherwell. What I learned over those three days has stood me on good ground ever since and this was one of the things I learned.

 

A contract is made in ‘good faith’. It requires that both sides behave honourably. A Contract of Employment can be terminated by either side if the other can be shown to have breached the heart of a ‘good faith’ contract. Breaches were detailed in the negotiated and agreed disciplinary procedures and the worst ended the contract through dismissal, constructive or otherwise. How that would work with a Social Contract, I’ve no idea – best talk to a good lawyer about that. So I hope that I’m addressing intelligent people who don’t need me to start joining up the dots for them because you have your own minds and opinions. This works much better if we are all thinking for ourselves and coming to our own decisions.

 

One of the features of being both Convener of the Social Services Shop Stewards (awarded 50% secondment/TU during my tenure), followed by two years Staff Side Secretary (with 50% secondment /time-off for TU activities during my first year but which rose, on a personal basis only, to 100% for the rest of my stint) is I found myself ‘presiding’ over a great mix of people, working in different professions, under one ‘roof’. My job, as I saw it, was to make sure their voices got heard in the right places. It didn’t matter which department the person seeking help came from, or how many there were of them, it was my job to ensure that the points they were making were heard. Yes, it was a Tory Council just before Shirley Porter’s leadership. She ran the Highways & Works Committee when I was there. And, yes, there were the Tory and Labour wannabees but amongst other councillors were genuine hardworking people also doing their best to serve their constituents. I did a lot of business with them and, more often than not, we found that we had a shared concern. As Staff Side Secretary, I could enable real debate towards finding mutually acceptable solutions. Not always, but often enough for the Council to up my time off for trade union activities. I was told that I helped the good functioning of the Council and was easy to deal with. If I was dealing with a problem, it got solved using the Contract of Employment coupled with goodwill. Apparently I had this effect where everyone wanted to agree with me. When I went to run the in-house union at the Corporation of London, we rarely agreed and they lost because they didn’t know what they were doing. If I ever wanted to manifest such ability again, it is now.

 

One of the advantages of being a professional in a number of different fields is understanding the common ground between them.  Within each profession, there is a social contract because it is simply not possible to be any kind of professional without it – public or private. It may be worded in different ways, addressing specific address issues related to the work, but there is always the element of ‘good faith’. Until a professional can be shown to have demonstrated ‘bad faith’, we are obliged to believe what we are told. It’s called professional courtesy and it is a common element throughout. That’s the theory, anyway.

 

The problem with individual professions – like Council departments – is we can become myopic, seeing the problem from only our own point of view. It’s a Staff Side Secretary’s job to listen to as many of you as possible and then ‘shake’ you with the overall picture. As professionals, I ask you to take this bigger picture back to your ‘departments’ and talk to your ‘membership’

 

This week has been a revelation of behavioural standards amongst professional politicians in this country. For example:

Michael Mansfield on Human Rights in the hands of Grayling (who has since silenced Probation Officers in the Social Media) and May (Guilty of ‘Contempt of Court ‘). Would any professional care to come to an opinion about whether their idea about a social contract on Human Rights is anything like ours?

This is Latent Existence on the Parliamentary debate (or whateveryoucallit) on Ministerial refusals to meet with the Disability Activist Community group known as Spartacus. Does this qualify as professional behaviour?

This appears to have caught Ministers at the Department of Work and Pensions running a covert scheme to purposefully remove entitlements from those in need for purposes of statistics.

And this is the Labour Party supporting the Tories’ evasion of legal duty through a retrospective change of law. I give thanks to my God there were honest professionals in the House of Commons who could model good behaviour . And I thank Owen Jones for telling us Miliband’s real reason for sitting on his hands… again.

 

These are the issues I see… from this week alone!

 

From every professional viewpoint I can muster, I see persistent breaches to the Heart of the Social Contract between the UK government and the people of Britain to render it broken and beyond repair. I have consulted widely and have found agreement in surprising places.

 

What I want to know – from everyone who reads this – is what you intend to do about it? I don’t care who you are, if you understand the professional difference between right and wrong then you have a social duty to do something to correct social wrongs committed by those now unable to maintain any semblance of good faith in their public duties. THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE PAID FOR!

 

And I don’t know what it is you’re supposed to do. You’re a professional – I shouldn’t have to tell you. As the Personnel Manager at Westminster once said “We employ adults.” What I will tell you now is that if you don’t do something sharpish, and we leave these monstrosities in charge of the country, I’ll either be dead or destitute alongside thousands of others at the very moment when we all enter a famine. By that time, no-one will be safe, not even you.

 

On 1st April 2013, Britain is going to be thrown into the Shock Doctrine. The problem with this doctrine is its predictability – use it too frequently and people start to throw off the affect. Understanding the Shock Doctrine immunises you and enables you to keep functioning when you were supposed to be immobilised.

 

I invite you to examine the evidence here and in your own experience, take up your professional social responsibility to ‘good faith’ by acting in the public interest.  This problem has never stopped of its own accord; it has always needed to be stopped! If there is any country on this planet that understands that, it’s Britain!

 

Now, what are we going to do about it?

 

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