Tag Archives: mental-health

A Beginner’s Guide to #Ethics in UK Public Life

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Bullshit

Every so often, the UK government finds itself mired in scandals of sleaze and corruption. At present, we have a return of allegations that the UK Parliament is ‘home’ to a ‘ring’ of high-profile child sex abusers; there are lingering allegations of continued expenses fraud; and today both the Guardian and Huff Post report that the Chairman of the Parliamentary Committee into Standards in Public Life  is saying “MPs should be required to undergo an induction course to teach them about the seven principles of public life that are meant to promote openness and honesty.”

For those unfamiliar with the Seven Principles of Public Life, you can find more information here.

 

So why are ethics so  important? From the perspective of a member of a presently socially-exiled social class, this is one HUGE reason as far as I am concerned:

Tories discuss stripping benefits claimants who refuse treatment for depression

We can be grateful to Dr. Sarah Wollaston, former GP now Conservative MP for Totnes, Brixham and the South Hams, – who clearly does understand the role of ethics in public life – to provide the appropriate professional response to the above.

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She elaborates on the issue of ethics in this report.

 

So given that the UK has existing standards of behaviour for public and elected officials, how is it possible that the Department of Work & Pensions floats ideas in the press that are clearly and plainly professionally unethical? Well, perhaps this might explain it:

 

A report by the committee pointed to reports that fewer than one in five of those elected for the first time in 2010 attended even one induction session, and one on dealing with ethical dilemmas was cancelled when too few signed up….

It said it understood that the issue was “delicate” as many elected representatives saw being taught ethics as “impugning their integrity and their common sense”…

HuffPost

 

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What we can be certain of, at this juncture, is that the ‘common-sense’ and ‘integrity’ of many present incumbents of public office in Westminster leaves a great deal to be desired, and this is a cross-party problem likely to be best resolved by a cross-party solution.

 

I believe that the casual breaching of ethics in public life by many of our parliamentarians lies at the heart of the social problems currently being created by the same. Whilst we have – as a country – tried to address this problem in the past, our attempts have clearly been unsuccessful because here we are again. The question in my mind is how do we manage the problem now?

 

As with any other ‘disciplinary’ problem, it is important to restate the standards likely to be applied. The Seven Standards of Public Life have been around for a while now but I wonder whether their importance has been framed correctly for our recalcitrant MP’s?

This is the frame I would use were I to be writing/delivering a training course on the topic. In addition to the reminder that those with public responsibilities are answerable to the public, I’d echo the Committee on Public Standards’ warning that those who fail to adhere to these are likely to find themselves deselected or recalled at best, or jailed at worst. Election or appointment to parliament does not come with a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card and failings in our personal public responsibility may well be punishable by the courts. In addition, those reluctant to apply the Seven Standards to their own behaviour could find themselves embarrassed by other public servants refusing to comply with orders they regard as unlawful.

 

Ceasar Chavez

 

Whilst I am certain the models used above are imperfect, they still provide a sound-enough foundation of the ethical principles that inform all professionals, whilst allowing for variations depending upon the exigencies of individual professions. When we start to see cross-professional ethical violations in matters of public political life (as with the DWP’s ‘forced therapy’ proposal which violated the ethics of both GP’s and mental health professionals), those of us who understand the issue’s importance need to ask ourselves what we intend to do about it.

 

Ethical violations are harmful to the point of criminality and beyond, wherever they may occur. When such violations are occurring in public life, the harm to the public will be extensive. As someone who could be personally affected by a DWP ‘forced therapy’ requirement, I have my own personal response to the Ministers of that department (past, present and future):

Forward Planning and

Atos and the Day of Judgment

Whilst the above were prepared for an impending WCA, the principles remain virtually unchanged because my response was designed to confront existing ethical violations within the DWP.  In addition, I’ve contacted and briefed my own MP on the matter because, in my own understanding of applying these principles, when we are faced with clear evidence of ethical violations, we must respond forcefully and vigorously to both correct and prevent them because they are always harmful to vulnerable others. I’m lucky my MP understands this; just as all those benefits recipients experiencing depression are fortunate to have a former GP in the House who understands ethics and abides by the Seven Standards, regardless of political hue.

 

This blog is for all those who want to understand the ethics involved and why they are so vital to public life, up to and including all those MP’s who missed out on their induction to public standard ethics after 2010. Perhaps those readers who think these are standards worth applying to our contemporary public life might bring them to the attention of their own MP’s. Any who persist in their failure to respect these standards, erroneously believing that ‘it doesn’t apply to me’, will still be measured by them, if not by their peers then certainly by their constituents. We don’t want them to complain they weren’t warned!

 

It really is time we all remembered how we are supposed to behave when faced with those whose behaviour is unethical.

 

What will you do?

 

 

BrEloEsCIAAoov4

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#Atos and the “Day of Judgment”

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This post follows on from “Forward Planning“, posted on 9 December 2013.

Since it appeared, there has been additional material posted to the web on this subject. The first came from TynesideMind and is a video of stories from their clients about the experience of being subjected to a Work Capability Assessment. If you  don’t yet understand the problems facing those subjected to the test, I urge you to watch it.

I’m deeply grateful to both TynesideMind and those clients who gave consent for their stories to be told both in general principle and personally. Personally because I am presently a counseling client of TynesideMind and am due to be subjected to the Atos test depicted in the video this coming Thursday probably in the same Assessment Centre in Newcastle.

So, following on from my previous post, I checked my GP’s letter and arranged for it to be faxed to Atos. My doctor says the following things about the present state of my health (apologies for the poor quality):

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There is more. When I called Atos to ask for the right fax number, the man who dealt with my query asked me the following question:

What do you expect that will do?

I had to explain to him that during the previous WCA I had been summoned to, last March, a letter from my GP had been faxed to them. As a result, my WCA been cancelled and my file was closed. Only then would he release the fax number to me.

There is one ‘small’ problem with my GP’s lette, which both of us missed. It makes no reference to the specific regulations that empower both Atos and the DWP to cancel a WCA. The particular regulations can be found here:

ESA Regulations 29 & 35 – Substantial Risk Exceptional Circumstances

(Further details and information can be found via The Black Triangle Campaign)

I don’t know how serious this oversight is yet but neither Atos or the DWP can deny its existence in my own case because it was used last March after my GP wrote to them quoting these regulations.  It is therefore perfectly within Atos’s authority to listen to my GP and take him seriously. It is also reasonable to assume that, prior to writing the letter, he checked the opinion of my counselor – he did. My counselor confirmed my suicidal ideation under the exemptions applicable to counseling confidentiality, although she had already been given my full, free and informed consent to do so.

This is the situation at the time of writing.  Tomorrow, I will discover what Atos has decided.

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Please bear in mind that what I am attempting to do here is to bring a forensic insight into the processes of being subjected to the WCA.  Any  decision in my case is likely to hinge upon whether my suicidal response is authentic or not and/or whether my belief that the stress of the WCA is likely to cause further damage to my already failing heart has any validity in fact. I understand that, at present, Atos is ‘unable’ to assess my mental and physical health together – its an either/or matter even though I suffer from both.

In matters of true judgment, we have to consider and weigh the evidence. What I’m going to do now is invite you, the reader, to arrive at your own judgement based on the evidence. This is the kind of evidence I would want presented at any inquiry into my death, whether ‘natural’ or by my own hand, so I see no harm in weighing it ahead of time.

With regard to my suicidal ideation and the likelihood of my acting upon it – is there any evidence that supports this proposition? You are invited to consider the content of the following blogs:

Tales of Suicide Survivor

Further Reflections on Suicide

Medical evidence can be obtained from Hull Royal Infirmary (December 2001)

Further evidence can be obtained from the HMP Prison Service during 2003-5 and 2008-10 with particular reference to actions relating to suicide prevention.

So, in answer to the question: Yes I do have a history of acting on my suicidal ideation; latterly, this behaviour is most noticeable when I believe I am being abused by the systems I depend upon.

My claims to heart failure can be verified as follows :

I was subject to a heart attack in November 2012.  I was subsequently hospitalised with heart failure in November 2012 and again in September 2013, not long after I had received my WCA ‘call-up’ papers from Atos. These details are all available via my medical records. I believe that attending a further WCA puts me in danger of further potentially-lethal harm because it leaves me feeling like this and such high levels of distress impact directly upon my blood pressure which places unnatural pressure on my already failing heart.

This is my evidence with regard to questions around the authenticity of my health and mental health claims. I would challenge Atos and the DWP to provide an equal standard of proof of duplicity by both my Medical/Mental Health teams and me if they intend to call our word into question.

The next step of this Judgment are the allegations I make of lethal intent in my post ‘Forward Planning‘. I allege that the present Coalition government, with particular reference to those issuing orders within the DWP, together with others unknown, are engaged in an attempt to deprive me of not only of my life but of my Right to Life. Is there any evidence to support this contention?

Interestingly, there is.  It comes from a very reliable source and has only recently been released:

Government Reviewer Opposed Rollout of ESA

What this information makes extremely clear is that, against professional advice, the decisions being taken in the DWP at the time were based on ideology, not the best interests of claimants. If it is understood that such decisions were being made then, and we assume that the underlying ideology remains unchanged, then any intent, lethal or otherwise, contained within subsequent DWP behaviour will make this apparent.

So this is what the DWP have been doing over the last three years. The department has been told repeatedly that the WCA is not fit for purpose:

This is the LSE explaining the problem in May 2011.

Here, in 2012, GPs warn that the WCA is “driving our patients towards suicide” and accuse Ministers of using work assessments to ‘hound’ disabled people on benefits.

In 2012, again, MSP’s challenged the Tories about the WCA in the Scottish Parliament. Their response was to claim the stories being told were ‘anecdotal’.

It became far less anecdotal in October 2012 when the WCA mortality statistics were released.

In 2013, however, the mortality statistics ceased to be available, even under FOI rules – this presumably returns the issue of WCA mortality to the realms of anecdote.

These are the findings of the 4th independent review into the WCA.

This is an Appeal Court judgment against the DWP and supports the contention that the WCA discriminates against those with Mental Health problems. Please note the following paragraph:

 

Instead of accepting the tribunal’s findings, and conducting an urgent trial, the Government appealed to the Court of Appeal against the tribunal’s finding of “substantial disadvantage”.

Mental Health Resistance Network

 

This is a study that demonstrates how the DWP and Atos apply targets when passing or failing those subjected to the WCA.

This concerns a new ‘layer’ in the WCA Appeal process, introduced on 28 October 2013, which deprives me of any income at all whilst I exercise my right to appeal a WCA fail. (It is a matter of record that I failed two previous WCA’s and won both my appeals at tribunal)

 

I would submit that the UK government’s behaviour, as detailed above, points to a callous and casual disregard for my Right to Life. I would also submit that my contention that the UK government is actively and unlawfully seeking to deprive me of my life is a validly held opinion based upon the facts submitted.

 

I would invite both the DWP and Atos to submit evidence, of the same standard, to prove otherwise.

 

Let us all observe what happens now.

 

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#PersonalView: Richard Dawkins and understanding Religion

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As anyone who has come to know me well will be aware of, one of the central themes of my actions grows from my personal spiritual faith. The structure I use is shamanic because it contains the possibility to express my greatest potential as a spiritual being as well as a human one. The shamanic structure I have created for my own personal experience of the spiritual contains the heart of every religion but I will stand alongside atheists when they point to hypocrisy too. My spiritual structure has an honoured place for atheists – every idea about the potential of the spirit world has a place in the mystery of the unknown, especially when it comes to human consciousness. As a result of this understanding, I pay particular attention to the outcomes of ideas emerging into manifestation by way of human behaviour – especially in our contemporary world.

 

Since I began to understand how spiritual energy is translated into manifest form – and science is being remarkably helpful about this at the moment – I have found myself adopting behaviours associated with different religious spiritualities. This is not because I have become particularly religious but because the discipline required manifests a very particular result and one I want to actively contribute towards. At the heart of every religion, bar one, are spiritual disciplines of Love. That’s how it works in my Otherworld. These are my personal perceptions. Nevertheless, I also respond to my perceptions/experience of the world around me too. It seems to me that I am being required to make a very clear choice about the thought-forms on offer. It is reassuring to know that I don’t appear to be alone in this experience.

 

Whilst the experiences I am presently undergoing, courtesy of my government, are undoubtedly grueling and the challenges to my human need for personal growth seem overwhelming, the constant choices between life and death seem never-ending. For example: the reason my spirituality is so structured comes from a visceral knowledge that life can be eternal if I choose it. I want to be a part of that possibility. As a result, this means I must answer challenges and step into new places.This is the Spirit Ground I do my best to stand upon. I do not hide my humanness, nor do I deny the Truth of my Soul, however flawed my understanding of it might be.

 

Today, I will deal with this example of the kind of ‘battle’ so many of us seem to be having to deal with. This behaviour aroused my shamanic passion and I will not let it go unanswered:-

 

 

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As a white feminist, I regard this as the most perfect example of the cruel-white-man-on-cloud religion if ever I saw one. As a shaman, I ask ‘what do these thoughts produce?’. Is this ethical, moral, tolerant behaviour? I know my own answer. This ‘meme’ of Dawkins is the religious face of atheism – more guilty than those at whom it points its finger of hatred. Where is the space for my Muslim friends to become who they truly are? This is the behaviour of all religious thinking – it’s aim is to seize power over others in order to destroy them. Every single faith I have ever come to love has a name for this behaviour.

 

IBSBT3EFCEAEJF5nn psychotherapeutic terms, this is projection. What we perceive in others is merely a reflection of ourselves. I have wondered at my own ability to see this element of human behaviour – it must be in me too. It is – I keep it as a reminder that I am no better than anyone else. Whether I am worse or not depends upon my behaviour and the choices I make. This is how I judge myself and it helps keep me balanced in unbalanced situations. I share these things because I believe other people of spiritual faith, regardless of how they construct it within themselves, will recognise the experience of what I am saying.

 

I know what it is to be regarded in this arrogant and distainful manner and I will not consent to silence. These words are ‘spoken’ to increase hatred in the world and I will not be a part of it. I have met Islam in my Otherworld and She consists of Love, Tolerance, Intelligence, Beauty, Truth and Kindness. This is the same energy that constructs my own experience of Spirituality and I experience it at the heart of every true Faith. It is a spiritual discipline that requires utmost respect for our individual differences and a deep passion for the fruits of our faith-in-action behaviour. There is no evidence of this in the above.

 

IBSJuRv7CUAAEwW7t is my ‘scientific’ opinion that these two atheist priests have decided that Schroedinger’s Cat is dead. As a shaman, I point to the choices made by both and say that this is murder-by-thought. I would highly recommend the belief that the cat is very much alive, however you may care to structure this.

 

It is quite plain that these men are pontificating upon an experience they refuse to have. In which case, anything they say is theory only. Please notice the invitation to ‘believe’ these theories as fact. The ‘facts’ presented are as unbalanced as the minds presenting them. It follows – in the laws of manifestation – that any actions resulting from their ideas will also contain the same imbalance, thereby producing imbalanced consequences. I see no benefit to the world in the manifestation of such ideas because it always results in the death of Innocence. It is the Road of the Guilty and I reject it.

 

Islam does not have to prove Her Heart to me. She is an integral part of my Otherworld and is filled with the mysteries of Truth I have yet to learn. Muslims and I do not always agree but we always learn together. This is my reality and it is how I Love – in thought, emotion and action. This the reality I choose to manifest and I believe the spiritual pathways I utilize are being identified by science, particularly in quantum mechanics and physics. The link between these worlds – as experienced by human consciousness – works through the thoughts and feelings we choose to act upon because they collapse potential and translate it into energy. Each time we make a choice, we strengthen the energy we are choosing.

 

BSSV9QzIYAAyO6LThis is why we must be careful, not only with our actions but with our feelings and thoughts as well, especially if we want to create a world we want to live in… and not have to die for. By all means examine the evidence that comes into our realities but be careful of whom we listen to. Such voices from white male high priests, from whatever ‘religious’ fervour grips their cruel minds, are designed to kill that which is Sacred to Love. This is my understanding and I share it only for comparative purposes. My Truth only.

 

As a friend, I would counsel this: if you experience this type of energy coming into your reality, please be extra careful of yourself afterwards. We are all capable of such behaviour – my awareness of this helps to remind me how I felt the last time I realised I was guilty of doing it and the promises I made to myself afterwards of how I would behave in the future. When we remember these aspects of ourself, we remain balanced.

 

This is a part of my own ‘penance’ – to never be a bystander when my Sacred is attacked.

 

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Mental Health: New thoughts on “White Devils”

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“And I have been trying to smash her frankness so that she should reserve opinion until she is sure of mine.”

Sigmund Freud about his wife Martha

       “The Life & Work of Sigmund Freud” by Ernest Jones (1953)

 

Imagine this: You start to experience mental health problems so serious you know you need help. Fortunately your circumstances enable you to meet a mental health practitioner of the talking therapies and you take up the opportunity to get the help you need. However, as your talking unfolds, your practitioner begins to frame your experiences within cultural definitions that bear no resemblance to your own experiences of life. What do you imagine this might do to you, on top of your own problems, and what impact is it likely to have on your recovery?

 

These are important questions. Before many mental health practitioners protest that, in their work, they simply listen to their clients/patients, I would ask another question: how can you be so sure? None of us are unaffected by the culture we come from. Our personal cultural assumptions are the bedrock of ego formation and never really leave us, no matter how much we might transform other aspects of ourselves. So when a client first comes into therapy and the practitioner takes their history, the practitioners’ own history is just as important. For example: what if the history of the practitioner’s professional training looked like this?

 

The cultural history of the global mental health movement has its roots firmly in White culture, along with all its assumed privileges. Ask MH practitioners where they would pinpoint the root of their profession and most would point to Freud. There is, however. a problem with Freud: when faced with a choice between his patient’s truth and professional pressure to recant, he recanted. although not everyone agrees with this analysis. It interests me that those who defend the Freudian status quo seem to be predominately male and are probably themselves products of white culture. I point this out simply because women working in the profession recognised Freud’s alleged behaviour from their own experiences of life. Indeed, the issue of a white man’s view of women’s sexuality seems remarkably unchanged, even today, so much so that sometimes satire gives a far more incisive take on the problem.

 

Whilst women have challenged the assumptions of a white male view of mental health, cultural challenges seem to be far fewer. The result means that people of colour or from differing cultures who become ‘service-users’ of a system requiring self-reflection in patients are ‘treated’ by those who stoutly refuse to engage in the same process. Little wonder that such patients develop little or no trust in practitioners of mental health services. True; this might make interesting conference or research material for existing practitioners in the field but it does absolutely nothing to help those actually experiencing mental health problems. For them, all that seems available is more of the same stuff that is the likely cause of their mental health problems to begin with.

 

So what to do?

 

If I return to the history of mental health ‘services’, whilst we may begin with Freud (who was a product of his own culture and time), we continue with those who broke away from his ideas. Jung broke with Freud but, like his mentor, he was also a product of his culture and time – there have been numerous analyses of the inherent racism in some of his ideas. Following on were others who developed their own models of psychotherapeutic assistance: Ferenczi, Perls and Rogers to name but a few. In the 1970/80’s, we saw women like Susie Orbach and Luise Eichenbaum wrest psychotherapy from the hands of men. One of the most significant contributions these women made – and still make – is to frame women’s mental health problems within the context of a patriarchal society. To me, it is this that might offer solutions to the problem of racism and cultural bigotry within existing mental health services.

 

If mental health is to ever truly mean what it says on the tin, existing white cultural assumptions and presumptions on the subject need to be wrested away from the ‘establishment’ by those who are actually experiencing these problems. We need to break with the idea of ‘professions’ because the history of mental health ‘professionalism’ is littered with unspeakable cruelties and abuses towards all those who are non-white or non-male. For white practitioners (like me), it’s time we began to acknowledge the invalidity of many of our assumptions and started down our own road to greater self-awareness because, from what I see in myself alone, much of what we have been doing is directly harmful to those we are hypocritically claiming to assist. For those who have problems with that notion, I would simply say this: if your patient/client were displaying the behaviour you are about to display in response, what would your professional interpretation be?

 

Sometimes a client’s resistance to psychotherapeutic intervention is absolutely appropriate.

 

“If a patient doesn’t fit the book, throw away the book and listen to the patient”

Unnamed Freudian-trained analyst quoted in “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan

 

 

The Gift of being Precariat

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Yesterday, I published a blog about the likely reality between my ‘society’ and myself come September. It’s a very bleak piece because, in order to describe it, I had to face social attitudes and opinions that are extremely harmful to the pysche and soul of those involved. That I am not alone in what I am facing is measured by the comments, reblogs and tweets that emerged afterwards. For all this, I am deeply grateful for it indicates I am writing from a place that affects the many, not just the few. This is what I was aiming for. Thank you all so much for telling me I got it about as right as one human being is capable of doing when telling truth to power.

 

Because next September has yet to arrive, I cannot know what form this future will take. Our world has suddenly become highly unpredictable – what we once took for granted now dissolves into grains of sand as we reach to grasp it. This truism applies to both the natural and man-made world. Everything has become precarious, including our natural environment.  The planet and her people have begun a transition from which there is no return. It follows – in my own mind, anyway – that if we are to find living human solutions to the difficulties we face, our answers are likely to be found amongst those familiar with living precariously. It’s easy to find us. We dwell amongst the silenced, the ‘managed’, the excluded, the trivialised and the dead. We come in all colours, all ages, all genders, all faiths and we can be found in all nations.

 

BD4JOtXCYAAQ6PWThe precariat are told, by the man-made systems we live under presently, that our worth can only be measured in money for which we are required to give up our capacity for imagination, exploration, wonder and love in order to dwell in the limited ideas of the self-interested few.

 

So who are these ‘few’ who seek to rule life itself? In the UK, if we are to believe what the mainstream media tell us, those few exclude most women; have difficulties with ‘immigrants’; dislike children; loathe the poor; and despise the imperfect. When we remove all these exclusions, we are left with a handful of largely rich white men and their cohorts. When we look at what this handful actually produce, we see Nature (on whom we depend) poisoned or destroyed to this God of Money; we see women and children (our gateway and future) purposefully impoverished to death; we are invited to participate in our own mass murder by hating each other; but, most of all, we are persuaded to believe that theirs is the only reality available to us. This is a lie – a lie so big, so outrageous, so relentlessly all-encompassing and pervasive that it beggars belief we even consider that it might be true. Yet we have.

 

In the UK, we now live under a hierarchy so extended that reaches from the place I was in yesterday when I wrote my blog to the corridors of The Grove in Watford where the Bilderberg Group are currently meeting. The elite is global. It follows then that the lies are global too and some of us have believed them in the past. Some of us still do.

 

It is said that the greatest coup the Devil ever pulled on humanity was to convince us he didn’t exist but there is an interesting rider to the tale of the devil. In Jewish mysticism, the Kabbalah, it is understood that Satan/Lucifer is God’s most faithful servant because his role provides the necessary choices for humanity to exercise our free will. Satan therefore enables each and every one of us humans to freely choose between Creation and Destruction. Our choice becomes our personal responsibility and refusing or relinquishing our choices to others becomes our responsibility too.

 

Amongst the precariat, as far as I can see, every effort has been made by this human elite to remove our freedom of choice. In yesterday’s blog, I could demonstrate – with evidence – that the choice being given to me by the UK government is a life of pain and suffering or death. In fact, it’s a ‘no-choice’ being inflicted upon millions in order that a ‘favoured’ few can do exactly as they please in the most destructive way imaginable. It’s a choice I refuse, regardless of how colonized I might be.

 

I refuse to regard my fellow precariats as having no value or worth because I know it isn’t true. At the hands of precariats, I have found infinite kindness and generosity; humour and humanity; wisdom and experience. Without them, I wouldn’t be here to write these words. In their company, I have found respect, understanding, compassion and mercy, regardless of the labels the elite requires me to carry around in order to scare the sheeple. Amongst the precariat, I have found my experiences shared by others who – from their own unique perspective – validate my ideas, feelings and intuitions about the problems we face. Within the precariat I have found authenticity in a world-gone-insane and my biggest response is gratitude. Gratitude for simple gifts and kindnesses given freely and without strings, simply because the need is present. In fact, I’ve learned more about life, survival and gratitude from the precariat than I ever learned elsewhere.

 

This is the clue to the essence of the choices we make. When we understand the pivotal power of our choice, we begin to understand the path we have chosen. To illustrate; exactly how grateful do you believe our elites are for all the sacrifices, deaths and destruction experienced by our precariat peoples? Your answer will tell you everything you need to know about what and who we face.

 

scaled_full_39c37e6881276af1a83e“And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror”

Leonard Cohen

The Progress of a Broken Heart

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For those who don’t know, following my blog post on November 5th, I had a heart attack. I was admitted to hospital as an emergency because my bottom artery was blocked by a blood clot. The clot was cleared and a stent installed to keep it open. Apparently my other arteries were unaffected. Whilst I was released home a few days later, the clot affected one of the valves in my heart, causing blood to flow back into my lungs, resulting in a fluid build up there. This caused serious breathing difficulties which meant I needed to be readmitted to hospital for further treatment. This problem has been successfully treated with diuretics and I am presently at home again. For the record, I think there may be further problems that need tending to, given how I am feeling, but I don’t yet know what they are. I’ll be discussing these with the cardiac nurses during my hospital appointment next Tuesday as well as taking things very carefully between now and then.

 

The amount of personal support I’ve received during this time has completely blown me away. On a practical level, my immediate neighbours have enabled me to traverse this new environment without harm to my home. They’ve fed (and cleared up after) my cats, helped me with shopping and visited me in hospital – all volunteered freely and with good humour. Given that my criminal offence, nearly ten years ago, involved hostile neighbours I am fully aware of how my recent experiences could have resulted in a very different outcome. To say I am grateful for all these kindnesses and help is to put it very mildly, especially as my current neighbours are fully aware of my past. They tell me this no longer concerns them – their assessment is based upon their direct experience of me now. Whilst it may not seem much to them, their attitudes mean a very great deal to me. On one level, it means that I have finally come home after a long period of homelessness. Yet now, from my perspective, this is going to have to be a different kind of home at all levels.

 

Firstly, the ‘home’ of my own body needs to be transformed – I cannot live the way I was living before my heart attack. This is now a life-and-death issue. I need to take all the meds the doctors have prescribed to keep my heart functioning and my lungs clear. I need to stop smoking (not as easy as it first appears). I need to take exercise (and already have a delightful volunteer neighbour stepping forward to help me with this) and I need the time to do all this before I can return to work. I doubt any of the doctors involved with this form of rehabilitation would disagree with me. Yet this needs to be set in a social context.

 

At a social level, I can count myself extremely lucky that my heart attack occurred when it did. If I were living in Iran, I would be being sent home to die due to the lack of available medication to treat heart problems. Given the current situation of the NHS and the UK government’s insistence upon privatisation, the services I received may not be there in the future. For example, there seems to be a suggestion that free prescriptions for those on benefit are likely to become a thing of the past. Those sickness benefits available in the past are not going to be there in the future. My housing benefit is being reduced next month – were it not for the compassion of both my landlady and her agent, I might have been facing a house move now (another reason for me to be deeply grateful). At a governmental level, it would seem that there is far less interest in my recovery. In fact, I find it easy to believe that my government would prefer me dead, such is their determination to reduce the ‘costs’ of my living. So whilst my immediate community supports me to live, my country apparently wants me dead – and I am a minor case compared with those whose own ill-health is far worse than mine. Therefore, I am deeply grateful to learn that there are those who are enquiring whether UK government policies towards people like me are criminal or not. Even if my own ‘value’ fails to meet the ‘life’ criteria, I think these questions need asking if we are to retain any vestiges of being a civilised society.

 

 

One of the problems I have in trying to bring everyone up to date with how I am is the fragmented quality of my awareness now. I experience what happened to my heart on 5th November as the equivalent of a mega-earthquake that is continuing to produce aftershocks in my physical, emotional and psychological landscapes. The structures of my past have yet to be tested for safety. I am no longer certain of where I am going or who I am capable of becoming now, in this new landscape. Any moves I make at present have to be tentative because nothing is certain anymore.

 

What I can be certain of, however, is that the epicentre of my personal mega-quake occurred deep in the subject of women’s desistance. I have not gone back to read the blogs leading up to 5th November because I know they will be filled – both accurately and inaccurately – with the pain and distress of trying to find a way through the social walls of a systemic resistance to listening. These are old, familiar and well-trodden paths that I had to follow many times in prison. Then it wasn’t heart attacks that cut through the barriers to common humanity but my blood-pressure which could register 240/130 during such crises. My BP would keep on rising until I encountered someone who thought I might be worthy of life. By the time such encounters occurred, I had normally been transferred to Healthcare. My heartful mega-quake was no different.

 

Jules replied to my 5/11 blog. In her reply (which I will post here at some point), she met me as one human being to another, following what I had experienced as a prolonged, terrible and abandoning silence in the face of what I was saying. Reading her email sent me into shock. I suspect that it was the impact of this shock that caused the crack in my artery which, coupled with my blood’s attempt to heal the crack through clotting, led to my heart attack. It might sound as though I am blaming her but, believe me, I am not. The compassion contained in her reply meant, in my opinion, that I survived this breaking of my heart. Without it, I probably wouldn’t have lived to write this.

 

Nevertheless, what is clear to me now is that I cannot survive my own desistance without kindness, compassion and a mutual willingness to engage another’s point of view from their perspective. None of our perspectives are going to be perfect but without a conscious capacity for humanity and compassion, we are likely to be unintentionally murderous, regardless of whether it arises from an individual offender; from those engaged within the Criminal Justice system; or as commenters/observers. I’m probably not explaining myself very well here but this might help. As you will see, my post elicited one response which required moderation because it was a personal attack towards me. The respondent had problems understanding that not every offender is a thief, mugger or murderer; that if I have paid the full price society has demanded for my transgression, then I am no longer ‘fair-game’ to blame for all crime; and that, as a desister, I have a continuing social responsibility to contribute to the lawful betterment of my community. As an illustration of the point I was attempting to make, the comment itself was ‘perfect’; so, too, the moderation which implies that there comes a point where such prejudice and hate must cease if a society is to retain its claim to humanity.

 

I support my own viewpoint with the evidence of my willingness to die in order to bring this message home to those who are capable of hearing it. It is a form of experiential teaching/learning like no other for it shows us all how much suffering we demand or require, both of ourselves and in others, before we empower ourselves to say ‘Enough’. What is interesting here is that when we realise and act upon our ‘Enough’, we find ourselves behaving lawfully. Sometimes we may also realise that, in all possibility, our previous failures to act may render us liable, or vicariously liable, to the charge of crimes against humanity.

 

I don’t teach this lesson to make people feel bad about themselves – those who need that lesson cannot hear me at all. No – my lesson is to help those who can hear me to feel good about themselves instead.  Yes, these are terrible tales we are relating – they are enough to break a woman’s heart – but if we can hear them, we can change them as we change ourselves. It’s not about apportioning blame – there is too much of it now to even begin to know how to share it out. It’s about saying ‘Enough’! It’s about saying we will not add to this appalling situation through ignorance, denial or refusal to acknowledge reality but will find other, better, healthier, humane ways to be with each other. It’s about gently removing the weapons of attrition from the hands of the wilfully ignorant and placing that responsibility into the power of wiser, legal and socially responsible minds and hearts so we stop treating each other this way. This is how we learn to feel good about ourselves and what we do. Ultimately, it’s about discovering that, no matter what we may have done in the past, we can all be forgiven… but only when we learn to stop sinning. This is the primal message of desistance and it belongs to us all, offender and non-offender alike.

 

The impression I am getting, in the aftermath of my mega-quake heart-break, is that I am not required to teach this death-centred experiential lesson again. The message I am receiving, from my neighbours and my immediate community, is that I am valuable alive and living amongst them. This blog – as fragmented and perhaps confused as it may be – is an opportunity for me to say thank you to my neighbours and those amazing friends I have made within my social media. If my neighbours overwhelmed me with their kindness when I needed them the most, my astonishing friends have been sending tsunamis of love that render me without words and what feels like an inability to respond. Yet, love demands response.

 

Until my body feels aligned to whatever life-force I must now dwell within to live, I can make no wise decisions about which pathways I need to be following. So I contemplate the aftermath of my mega-heart-break in order to see what needs to be allowed to die back and what can be cultivated to grow in healthier ways.

 

From this immediate perspective, what I can be certain of is that social attrition, cruelty, an absence of mercy and increasing austerity will grow nothing of any worth and is more than likely to destroy any remaining personal creativity any of us might be able to access. Whilst my neighbours and friends offer me the realistic possibility of a continuing life worth living for the benefit of my community, I cannot ignore that my government appears to want me – and all those like me – dead.

 

How am I supposed to respond to such a requirement?

 

Indeed, how is any law-abiding citizen supposed to respond?

 

 

And, finally, my apologies if this is hard to follow – it is, nevertheless, a true reflection of what is occurring within as I wander through the post heart-attack landscape I find myself in.

 

 

On the experience of Envy

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Source: unknown

A couple of days ago, a very good friend of mine was honest enough to tell me she envied my ability to write. She has my deep gratitude for her honesty and personal insight. It took me years in therapy to even begin to understand the emotion, let alone talk about it, and my friend has opened the door to this piece.

It’s taken me many years to get to the stage where I can write in this way. The testing grounds of prison, where the language of communication is intensely basic, stripped away a lot of verbiage from my skill or so my mother tells me. I’ve become more direct and to the point. It’s good to have this kind of feedback because although I know my own internal landscape has altered beyond recognition, it’s hard to know how this translates into my impact upon those around me. My friend’s generosity helped me understand a common experience I seem to have these days – other people’s silence – and it’s helped remember what it was like when I started learning about my own capacity for envy.

A lot of my therapeutic training was done in groups and I well remember the excruciating silences that would descend upon us when envy was trying to make itself understood. From my perspective, it used to seem as though everyone else knew what they were about and I was the stupid laggard. In retrospect, it’s likely that all my travelling companions felt the same way but, at the time, I was certain I was alone. My trainers were exceptional women and I yearned to have their skill and awareness but doubted if that could ever be the case. Nevertheless, I was making the attempt because the goal was so enticing.

During that period, the process of learning was, in a word, foul. Although I knew I desired the skills they possessed, my journey to attaining them for myself was strewn with resentments, bitterness and my own deep sense of inadequacy. Inadequacy is a horrible experience because it makes me feel so vulnerable. I can see now how it was the spur to learn; to overcome the problem and move beyond it but, at the time, it felt like a pointless exercise. My ‘trainee’ believed it was never going to be possible to become like my trainers and, from one angle, I was absolutely right. We can never be anyone else but ourselves. Our individuality is the only basic material we have to work with. The months and years of learning about envy meant I was brought face to face with this. The only person I could ever be was me and my internal opinion of this ‘me’ scored very low on my list of valuables. All in all, I was a very envious woman.

Therapeutic learning about envy is the painful exploration of our deepest levels of inadequacy. This may sound very masochistic and, in some ways, it is until we understand the purpose of the journey. Uncovering these deep layers enables us to discover what we believe about ourselves. This is important because many beliefs cannot withstand the light of exploration simply because they are false. In addition, feelings of inadequacy are actually the seeds of growth. Until we are aware of these, we cannot do anything about them and they remain, lurking deep within our unconscious, affecting our perceptions, attitudes and actions. As I struggled through the experience, I learned that there really were places where I was inadequate but I also learned there were other places where, despite my self-perception, I was very skilled indeed which came as something of a shock. Somewhere along the line, I had learned to despise or devalue my own natural gifts.

It was at this point that the lesson ‘flipped over’. No longer was I discovering my bitter, dark inadequacies; I was learning about the experience of being envied. Although it may sound strange, this was actually more difficult than the first stage. When we are deep in the depths of our own ‘dark matter’, we have some ability to control our experience but we lose this when we encounter the same in others. We all find ourselves at the mercy of other people’s perceptions regardless of who we are. If these are fuelled by unconscious inadequacy, then we get to experience what it is to be envied. Speaking personally, without therapeutic insight,  it has little to recommend it.

Understanding that we can be envied is the start of appreciating that we have talents or qualities that are admirable. It challenges the internal perception of inadequacy, even if we disagree with our admirers. It also confronts our own indolence. Feeling inadequate can be the perfect excuse for not moving, developing or growing. We discover we are not as useless as we had believed and in that awareness, we are faced with our personal responsibility to act on this knowledge. With good support, we can evolve beyond the life we have confined ourselves to and become truly adult. If, however, it is our experience to be envied, then the opposite occurs.

When I discovered that I could be envied, many of the personal experiences I had been unable to explain suddenly fell into place. The bullying I had experienced at school during my childhood suddenly made sense. The naked hatred I had been subjected to on occasions became understandable and my own envious behaviour could be seen in context. When we are the subject of another’s envy, we stop being able to grow at all because the destructive energies we are attracting make it all but impossible. For me, this was the key to understanding why I believed so much of my internal landscape had little or no value and why, when I did find something worthwhile, I would often overdo it and get myself into trouble. If our internal themes are based on experiences of being envied, especially when we are young, then we are likely to unconsciously choose behaviour that reinforces these notions. We go looking for that which confirms what we think we know about ourselves.

There are so many numerous, painful tales about the consequences of being envied that I’m disinclined to add to them here. What I will say is that, in my experience, it has the impact of a nuclear explosion within my internal landscape. There is always a moment where everything I thought I knew about myself is razed to the ground and left in ruins, nor is there any comfort or compassion within reach that might ameliorate the experience. Protests, appeals for kindness, tears and agony make no impact upon envious attackers who regard such expressions as justification for their behaviour. The force of the attack renders the envied vulnerable and helpless by removing all protection which is followed up with unrelenting aggression devoid of mercy or forgiveness. Envy attacks our very being and there is nothing we can do about it. When I came to understand this, I could appreciate how my knowledge of self had been rendered so inadequate. As the object of such attacks, we are always going to be inadequate to prevent it because that is the dynamic of the envious attack itself. We cannot change the envier because they don’t want to be changed; they believe themselves to be entirely justified in what they are doing. Nothing we think, say or do is going to make one iota of difference.

During an envious attack, the balance of polarity is severed. The healthy knowledge that we are all both adequate and inadequate is split apart, creating schizoid perceptions and behaviours. Outwardly, the envier justifies claiming the whole ground of adequacy by maintaining that the envied is wholly inadequate and lacking in any redeeming features whatsoever. In the language of emotional literacy, however,  the internal experience flips this observation because, in truth, an envious attack can only have its roots in deep feelings of inadequacy and the envied has to possess qualities that are likely to be regarded as ‘more than adequate’.  The natural balance of Nature reasserts itself, even if it is done within the different dimensions of our conscious and unconscious selves.

Resolving the terrible consequences of envy is a very difficult task. It involves a two-pronged approach. With those who are subject to being envied, this will probably involve supporting the individual in recognising that the attacks are unreasoned and therefore, because they are so destructive, can be shown to be so. It may also include work to empower the envied to recognise their innate talents and develop them further. Working with the envier – which assumes consent – is frequently a case of dealing with facts to begin with. The talent they admire in others, and wish they could possess for their own, needs to be examined closely. For example: such talents are often the result of very hard work. They don’t spring, fully formed, from the envied but are the result of actualised potential. Does the envier want to do the work to achieve this ability? If they do, then the object of their envy is a waymarker for their own personal growth. If they don’t, then the exploration turns to what they do want and how that might be achieved. Human life is limited by the boundaries of birth and death so, realistically, we cannot develop every talent and are forced to choose between them. Bearing in mind that the healthy polarity of envy is gratitude, we can have feelings of envy about another’s talent whilst taking responsibility for our life choices. For example: I have a life-long envy of anyone who can play the piano but I have chosen to develop different skills and have declined to do the necessary work to become a pianist myself. These days, I still feel the yearning but because I walk a different path, I can be deeply grateful to those pianists manifesting their talents for my enjoyment. In developing my own skills, I can appreciate the level of dedicated commitment to the long haul of ‘practice, practice, practice’ required to truly manifest the best a human being is capable of. A fully realised skill is an object of awe and wonder but it is not the end of the process.

‘Healthy’ envy marks the entrance to the world of human struggle and endeavour. If we envy, it shows us what we truly desire and where we need to strive. If we are envied, it shines a light on qualities we may not have known we had. It is the paradoxical experience of adequacy and inadequacy and is probably our deepest experience of human vulnerability and its power. Where envy becomes most toxic is when we reject awareness; refuse the effort it takes to develop our talent; decline any personal responsibility for our attitudes or behaviour; and indulge ourselves in the worst humanity capable of. On the map of undifferentiated human consciousness, this is the place marked “Here be monsters”, yet as the light of awareness shines in, the very same spot can also be named “The Birthplace of Heroes”.

In closing, I return to my envious friend who only needed a gentle reminder of the content of her feelings. Without her honesty, this piece could never have been written, so how can I not be grateful? Those who find this helpful for their own journey can be grateful too for she has been the source of light in this very dark subject. Between us – the envier and the envied – we have become joint creators in new conversations about what it is to be human.

Jeni – thank you so much for the gift of your truth. If you ever choose to write down your own version of this experience (and would like it published), let me know. I’d be delighted to post it here.

The Diamonds of Darkness

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“The Tower” ©Stephanie Pui-Mun Law http://www.shadowscapes.com.

 

The very best form of learning is experiential because the lesson is taught on many different dimensions. It follows that the very best teachers work experientially. The thing to remember is that that the lessons come from life itself. They arise from our aliveness and the only difference between the teacher and the student is the teacher has more experience.

Yesterday, some friends helped create such a lesson. You can find it here. As an example of the Gestalt Cycle, it is perfect – I have excluded an interruption that, in my opinion, sought to introject a ‘solution’ that did not fit the problem. I left it out because I’m tired and bored with the interrupters and to make a song-and-dance about such individuals is to divert attention from where it is needed. They are unneeded distractions. I have also excluded someone who supported me on the facts about financial poverty within the system we all find ourselves in. I’m grateful for their support but for this to work effectively I need to stand alone at the moment. We need to be able to see my mistakes and supporters can veil this aspect if we are not careful. This is a lesson. I am a teacher. I believe my lesson’s aim is to support the impoverished but if they can’t see where I’ve fucked up then we can’t correct my errors. In truth, both of those I’ve left out belong in the wider story – they are as much a part of the Gestalt as the participants but I don’t know them as well as the central characters.

This is a recapitulation of what occurred now that my personal Gestalt Cycle has completed itself. It was my Cycle so I’m discussing it from what I can see – how it interfaces with the other participants will be for them to decide.

The main charactors are my Egyptian friend, my Lightworker friend, an old Guardianista friend and me.

The teaching Cycle began an out-pouring of Self from my Egyptian friend. If I have my facts straight, nag0ul took such an active role in his country’s ‘Arab Spring’ that he was arrested and detained at one point. Certainly, now, he is under 24 hour surveillance in a country that is ruled by a military that sees no problem in killing its citizens when they protest, supported by lawyers that permits them to get away with murder. No-one in the Egyptian hierarchy has been brought to account for the deaths of protesters and it looks like no-one will. So, my Egyptian friend knows he is facing retribution of some sort whatever hue of government takes power. Therefore, his initial outpouring is totally understandable.

I stopped trying to interrupt his Cycle of Experience (none of us are exempt from this mistake!) when I remembered my own outpourings whilst I was a prisoner. He was in a place of deep transformation where existing internal psychic structures collapse and he describes this process extremely well. From my own experience, this is a deeply painful process of disappointment and there is really nothing anyone can do except keep them company. It is a long and hard fall from Hope to Despair, and it takes just about everything we believe in with it. In the Tarot, this is the card of the Tower. In Astrology, this is the action of Pluto.

This Fall takes us over the boundary of Death. It may not result in physical death, although it can and it may not be our own death that triggers the process. If we live, what dies are the assumptions we have structured out lives upon and someone in the throes of the Fall can take our own assumptions with them.

As my Egyptian friend ‘fell’, and with my own grief triggered by Father’s Day, the pain I was holding became too much. Politically and personally, I am close to ground zero at present and aware that I may be facing a move to its epicentre. This is not a new experience for me. My Father’s death initiated my own ‘first fall’ and subsequent events collapsed my life until I was transformed into an undesirable, unemployable exile in my own country. Whilst my experiences are my own and cannot be compared with nag0ul’s, the pattern of energy is the same. A fall from Life to Death holds the same archetype wherever it is played out and the results are the ashes of despair. Those bearing witness are liable to feel fear of their own fall, especially if they have not experienced this for themselves.

What is most important to remember here is that, like the Phoenix, ashes are not the end of the story. The collapsing structures represent outdated power; when the Tower is dust, so energy previously locked within is freed to create in new ways… but only if the environment allows it. The energy of Pluto is Life-Death-Life – it does not end with death.

My first experience of Death was also my first experience of Grief. Grief is a trauma. As the roots of the Greek word for trauma suggest – grief pierces our ego-structures and breaks our heart open to greater Love. It has to be Love because only that power can cause us to grieve when it is ‘gone’. A deep wound to Love creates intense vulnerability which can only be healed with kindness, patience, compassion, understanding and time, as anyone who has experienced grief will tell you. The problem grieving people have is that we live in a world where all those qualities are in very short supply. So when vulnerable people are subjected to cruelty, impatience, heartlessness, deliberate incomprehension and no time, it will trigger feelings of deep rage. This is what occurred with the Arab Spring. This is what is occurring elsewhere across our planet.

Frequently, those experiencing this process transform into activists. We see the ‘wrong’ and start to do something about it. Our choices and actions begin to create new structures within us, just as the Plutonic energy intends. However, those of us who have become activists over the past few years are constantly facing an opposition hell-bent on keeping us imprisoned within their old and collapsing paradigms. To my eyes, they appear criminally insane and my own rage at this situation erupted into the Twittersphere, triggered by grief and activated by my friend’s despair.

This is a powerful dynamic of an energy seeking to evolve. My new friend, Adam, mistook it to begin with until I was able to explain what was occurring using the Laws of Grief. The first Law of Grief is Respect. If the energies being expressed by the mourner are fundamentally healthy, then they demand respect, even if their appearance is initially alarming or disturbing. If witnesses cannot offer respect, they are likely to be shot down by the emerging Rage – as one person was by me. On the other hand, if respect is established – as it was with Adam – then the rage can begin a second transformation into Passion. Rage is no longer required because the energy is being heard. What emerges is the information needed to build new and healthy structures from the ashes of the old. This process is apparent in my personal Storify.

It is these new energies that Activists seek to support and develop. My passionate rage was rooted in the relentless attacks these individuals can be subject to, both collectively and individually. Whilst I might agree that new energies, if still ‘infected’ by old memes, may need to be continually dismantled until we arrive at a healthy structure there comes a point when it is plain that the destructive forces being applied are downright malevolent. So whilst I may have been enabled to move out of the Death-stage yesterday, I am under no illusions that the political forces in my country won’t attempt to send me back there. In my own Self, I am certain I’d prefer to be dead than to consent to this. The suicide levels in the West suggest that I am not alone in this. That this suits the NWO is beyond any doubt because they would be acting to prevent this if it didn’t – instead they are heaping more of the same upon those they purport to ‘govern’. The System is waging war on its own people. Activists understand this and do something about it but they are not superhuman. We need to remember and give to the grieving what they need to evolve. Sitting back and doing little or nothing is to deprive them of support when it is needed most. Support can be as little as a retweet or as much as your heart prompts you to give.

One aspect of my Gestalt Cycle was the issue of financial poverty. In a world filled with envy, this subject becomes booby-trapped, so I make no claims to be ‘right’ with this aspect. I will simply say what I see.  What needs to be remembered here is that the vast majority of Activists are financially impoverished. What they achieve is done with so few material resources that the shaman-in-me starts talking about miracles. Those who benefit from their actions are frequently poor too. The question that always arises in me is “what might they be able to achieve if they actually did have resources?” This is then tempered with Sufi wisdom that teaches when financial assistance is absent, people find out what they are genuinely capable of in a spiritual sense. Clear answers elude me and I have to fall back to trusting that the greater Power of Love knows what it is about far better than I do and I surrender.

This story is still unfolding. In my experience, each time we are felled by the pressures of the old and have to walk through our own darkness, we collect diamonds of wisdom along the way. These are the diamonds I collected yesterday. In sharing them, I hope they may inspire new activists and resources for existing ones, however those resources might manifest. The only thing I can be certain of is that the other participants in my story will know things I don’t either because I’ve made a mistake or I’ve misunderstood what I am looking at. But I will only find out by sharing what I know.

If any of these diamonds are useful to you, please help yourself.

#EtherSec #TangoDown The Guardian and how covert censorship works

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“The Guardian” newspaper is a part of my personal and social heritage as someone who was raised a socialist. It never really was a socialist paper – more soft liberal – but for the intelligentsia who couldn’t bring themselves to read “The Morning Star”, the Graundiad was a passable choice. Not anymore.

To read the Guardian now is to understand that there are some very fine journalists working there. They report stuff like this – in good detail and fine attention. I have no doubt that there are many good and fine people working for the paper too. I have no argument with them. My argument is with whoever is making the decisions that other staff have to carry out.

I have an ‘old’ account with the Grauniad (bearing in mind I have only been ‘back’ on the net for a year or so). Today I logged on to take part in this:-

My late father would have been tickled to bits with my score, especially if I could tell him that on some questions I guessed when I didn’t know. Even I was pleased with how I did and I am my worst critic. So the Guardian comment beneath my score prompted this reply:-

But there was something interesting I noticed. It prompted me to post a tweet to people I trusted. I’m very grateful for this reply:-

This is not the Guardian website I knew less than a year ago, let alone the paper my family paid good money for for over more than forty years.

There is a rule I need to apply to myself here – Do not criticise without proposing a solution. Because I prefer people to make up their own minds and use their own imagination, I make no proposals. I will simply share this because I have already acted.

On twitter, I’m called a global Citizen – I accept that responsibility. I am called a friend – I accept that privilege. I continue to call myself a shaman in the face of derision and oblivion curses because I’m still here after all their attempts to destroy me. And I’ve just been given a job by people who set very high standards. I am posting this for them only because I prefer to be elected rather than chosen. Otherwise , I am honoured and seek to comfirm my worth and their opinion. I know the importance of being valued (see last paragraph). You can find us here #ATL.

I never want to let down those who choose or trust me because that kind of respect is so hard-won and it comes only from those who work hard to be honest. We need to value each other for who we are, especially when we are different. The Guardian used to do that for everyone but it appears to have suffered a failure of courage – no comments on a Comment Cartoon anymore? Cartoonists getting too close to the bone to allow people to speak?

So I say this because I believe it falls under the law of “Fair comment”.

The Guardian newspaper is corrupt at the top but not neccessarily in the middle 😉

Sue me!

When Rage Becomes Passion – I’m back on a ‘Roll’ again!

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When rage first surfaces, in ourselves or in others, it frequently arrives ‘undifferentiated’. Since this particular rage is deeply Female, this is a rage that is part #AppallingPMT #RagingScold  #TheFaceOfKali #TheUntamedShrew and a whole bundle of other descriptions that pretty much describe the same thing. What we need to remember, when this happens to us either as actor or participant, is that the Feminine Voice you are hearing/seeing/experiencing belongs to a woman who has been subjected to prolonged abuse of every conceivable description and a good deal more that good men can’t conceive of unless they are involved with Law enforcement. If you give an erupting woman as much space as she needs, she will eventually do something that will break your heart open to the deepest compassion. You will have an experience of deep empathy.

This empathic experience will mean that you find yourself sharing the experience of deep rage yourself. There is no need to fear this. All that matters is that your rage is trusted and respected for what it is, particularly when you find yourself being unreasonable or being accused of being unreasonable. Passion has Her Own Reason; remember this.

One of my Passions is a passion for Good Law. I see no good law occurring at the ‘top’ in my county and I am watching their corruption trying to seep into the valley of my home. I am sick to the back teeth of their lies and cruelty. I think a large part of our Parliament is psychopathic or under psychopathic influence and they are in full gear to head us into a very English form of the Third Reich. Scotland and Wales have already bailed out. If I have anything to do with it, the neglected North of England will tell Westminster to take a hike too if things don’t change. Our society is sick enough as it is – we don’t need to get any sicker.

I want to say to our trade unions that it’s time to cut the Labour arm off – it’s rotten to the core and has already threatened your members by its inaction and lack of parliamentary support. That’s called ‘gross misconduct’ and is a sackable offence. I’d like you to consider looking around for some of our radical liberals – the kind that, if elected, would renationalise everything starting with the banks. Let them stand as Independents, so they can’t be ‘whipped’. The public services belong to the public – it’s time we took what is ours back from this #AxisOfGreed. We could tell the one percent that they’ve had their feed and, in the light of their behaviour, there’s no compensation unless the workers at the bottom speak up for the people at the top. That ought to sort the swans from the geese.

You see, once we move beyond our first explosion,  the deep passion, the deep rage we found in ourselves or saw in another, does become ‘unreasonable’ in the face of ‘insanity’. Deep rage and deep Passion have their own reasons and those reasons belong to the Law. This is the deep Passion of the overturned money-lenders tables. The Passion that fired the Prophet and it is the Passion of the Feminine. This is the Fury of the Mother protecting her young. It is the Con-Dar. This is an Honourable Fury against a foe that has declared open warfare on the women of this planet.

Remember those who told you that you were being unreasonable? Those people are the problem. We are on a war footing and the weapon we use is the force of Good Law, whether that law be medical, military or civilian. The test of insanity is denying there is a problem when it is plain to those who are qualifiedly sane that there is an extremely serious problem and the source is the denier themselves. Under such circumstances, I would doubt that many of our senior politicians are actually fit to stand trial for their genocidal policies.

When the old ways are corrupted, our rage cuts through the crap and gets to the quick of the matter. No, what I say won’t be comfortable for some people to hear but, hey, we are all in this together and war changes everything. We have a pissed-off military. We have a pissed-off police force. We have pissed-off prison officers. These people – the good ones – are not folk it is wise to piss off. We’ve had our public services too long to stand by and watch these carpet-baggers steal from us again. No, our services are not perfect but then neither are you. One thing I can guarantee you, however, is that whatever privatised service these #Reptiles have in mind for us will be a whole lot worse. I don’t have a problem with staff being paid a decent wage or having a good pension – my problem is that I think everyone else should have it too. Perhaps some people need reminding that selfish behaviour is anti-social. And anyone who thinks everyone ought to be the same is going to have a major problem with me now because I am who I am and want no part of any society that can’t accommodate that.

I’m tired of being told I have no worth. I’m tired that my limited means come through a system that hates me and I’m sick to the back teeth of those who have the power to do something about it allowing this obscenity we are being forced to live to continue.

If we are at war – and it certainly looks as though the British Government and its Institutions have declared war on the British people (Wales and Scotland need to deal with their versions of this). I believe that might be called Treason which, if my memory of Good Law serves me, is a crime that might still be punishable by death.

Men reading this who are having trouble getting to grips with understanding this are invited to talk to intelligent women friends. Go have a look at who is being singled out for ‘Special Treatment’ in this War on Women. And finally, because I am sick of this behaviour from some of you, you can get off your egos and help us by organising. You can stick your hand in your pocket and make a contribution, especially if you’ve been fiddling your taxes. Who do we really trust with money – our money? I want a Women’s Bank – the evidence is overwhelming that when good women are helped, the whole society improves. Didn’t you realise that’s why they hate us? We are the living proof of their lies. That’s why they war on us! Gentlemen, this is no way to treat a Goddess or Her Daughters and we are furious.

Good men do not stand by and do nothing when there’s a war on.